Failed attempt to make an epic movie

Rating: 2/10 (2 January 2014)

Now, i have been a Tolkien fan for a while. I have read the book, so seeing how off the first movie was, and how much of a disappointment it was, i didn't expect much of this one. However, even with low expectations, i was disappointed.
The movie is faithful to the book in 2 things: the names (for the most part) and the destination.
Starting with a book comparison: The movie started with a scene at Beorn's place, and all the wittiness and magic of that scene just vanished. It was one of the best scenes in the book. The way they come 2 by 2, Gandalf's story... That would have been great to watch. In the movie, Beorn's eloquence is reduced to zero, and the reason why they stay at his place is because he hates Orcs more... I mean, please! What is this, some kind of a joke? You want some blood, in the book, goblins are supposed to still be chasing them, and Beorn kills some during the night, he makes sure the dwarfs' story is true.
About Mirkwood, that spider scene is way off too... I am glad at least gandalf is not with them. But what about the thirst, the temptation to drift away from the path, Bombur's misadventures, the dangers of the water there, the elven disappearing lights... That forest is not about hallucinations, it is not a drug center.
About the elves there... WHY change that? Why does it seem that everyone knows all details about the dwarfs' quest except for the dwarfs themselves? Since when did Thranduil ever fight a dragon? I am okay with Legolas being there since he is from there. But who is that tauriel? Not only is she not in the book, she is not a Tolkien character. She is not in any book.
A love story between an elf and a dwarf is totally wrong, unnecessary and actually kinda sick.
The characters are all messed up, the action is totally unnecessary and actually cheap in such a story. The escape from the elves should have been epic. To me, it was nothing but a physics law breaking water slide.
The laketown scene was totally off, bard was different, the dragon scene was... I mean, the dragon is never supposed to see Bilbo in the book. They have conversations but Bilbo never showed himself. The dwarfs were not the brightest bulbs, but they were not that stupid. That fight with the dragon was just an insult to Smaug, an epic character in the book. How can a dragon not kill at least one person there? How could he know about the return of the shadow if he was sleeping that whole time? How did he know about the Oakenshield, name supposedly given later at moria? How can the dwarfs survive in a room where the temperature is so high? I mean gold melts there... And iron doesn't? Also can you mold a big golden statue in minutes? I admire their skill for keeping that liquid statue standing for a while... Also, giving Smaug extra gold armor was pretty thoughtful...
There are many other details i will not write about. Just read the book, it is wonderful.
Now about the movie itself: Other than the things mentioned above, considering that it came after Lotr, and is trying to set the ground for the epic trilogy as a prequel, i think this movie is a failed attempt at taking the epicness of Lotr. The story is not exactly made for that. I call this movie autoplagiarism by peter jackson. It is sad that kids will see this movie, then see lotr and will compare Arwen to Tauriel, as they healed in the same way. Arwen descends from the Noldor, she is basically the equivalent of a princess in Imladris (Rivendell), she is one of the highest in honor among elves. Tauriel is basically a wild elf, she is nothing, and i wonder how she got to that captain position. Also, she has the nerve to talk back to the king AND calls herself an elf? The race that basically represents order? I actually hope she dies in the third. Most of the fight scenes are there just to waste time and for extra action. You do not need that, and since you call that movie "the hobbit", why not give more attention to Bilbo instead of making Legolas and Tauriel the stars? I mean, just let Legolas fight and people will be happy? No! The movie is actually way less fast-paced than it looks, the fight scenes just go on, that is all. So here is how i would describe it: fight the spiders, escape from the elves, fight the Orcs, fight the dragon. Where are the talk subtleties, the tricks played by Gandalf and Bilbo about everywhere, some things just should not be messed with.
Too much CGI makes the movie actually look bad. Everything looks fake, which is a shame.
Also, considering Tolkien's maps and distances, i would say the dwarfs are teleporting. There is no way they could cover that distance in a few days.
If you forget about Tolkien, the laws of physics, the basic fantasy principles, geography, then this movie may get a 5