Take sandwiches, take lots

Rating: 4/10 (4 May 2014)

The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug (2013) directed by Peter Jackson
Apologies for the lateness of this review, it dropped of my list in the post-Christmas confusion, re-watching it in 3D on Blu-Ray over Easter reminded me I needed to get round to it. Well, what can I say that hasn't already been said, it's big, it's loud and it's full of elves, dwarfs and Stephen Fry.
For Middle Earth nerds it's highly likely there might be bits of this movie that actually hurt, like the bit where Legolas is retrofitted to the storyline as one of the morally questionable wood elves or the love interest that develops between a dwarf and a ninja wood elf. Such purists would point out the significance of the relationship between Gimli (passing reference is made to the small bearded one in this film) and Legolas in LOTR is that it is the first positive engagement between elf and dwarf in hundreds of years that's why it's so important. But this isn't a film for Middle Earth nerds, they'll generally still be lost in the convolutions of the Silmarillion, this is an epic for the masses who like dwarfs and swords and dragons and seeing orcs skewered three to an arrow in a rocking-rolling barrel chase (this bit is undoubtedly the best bit of the film).
Martin Freeman is pitch perfect as Bilbo, with that I've-just-lost-something face and halting way of speaking that endears all but the most hard-hearted of Hobbit haters. Ian McKellen's Gandalf now looks so wizened his eyes are almost closed for the entire film, his grey coat and crooked pointy hat the high fashion mark of dilapidated wizardy. Gandalf doesn't feature greatly in this movie, trundling off to face the mysterious Necromancer, who turns out to be the reincarnating Sauron, arriving ninety years too soon for the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Benedict Cumberbatch plays the rumble-throated Smaug with suitable Shakespearian grandiosity and the dwarfs are variously cute, hairy and mischievous, although James Nesbitt's role in this one seems much reduced which is a shame.
Having taken the 300 hundred odd pages of The Hobbit and spread them over what will be 9 hours of film I do wonder what is going to happen in movie 3 as this instalment finishes about 3 pages from the end of the book. The one could have done with being a good 40 minutes shorter because by the time we meet the magnificent dragon we're really beginning to flag.
Enjoyable enough, but it did feel a little marmitey, you know the kind of thing, too little flavour spread over a large area. Watchable but take a pillow, flask and sandwiches.
*** Three stars