The Desolation of Jackson OR Promoting The Middle Earth Theme Park

Rating: 4/10 (15 December 2013)

Apologies for the facetious summary but this movie unfortunately does deserve it. Note that I will let you know when the spoilers begin. Of course, I really can't spoil anything for you. The movie will spoil your day, all on its own.
A low score warrants context. My daughter, 13, and I, 42, loved the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, and forgave The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey as an acceptable though uninspired start to the trilogy in progress. Prior to watching this, I'd read numerous reviews claiming that the second Hobbit installment was much, much better than the first, and that Smaug was the best on-screen dragon of all time. Finally, I love the books, but this poor review is not a result of Jackson's "faithless" adaptation.
The Lord of the Rings has great character development, palpable relationships, and surfaces inner struggles very effectively. The Hobbit limps along, relying mainly on the characters we got to know in LotR (the few that are in the movie), and preventing any real interaction with the "new characters" through a never-ending montage of frenzied activity. Jackson gave himself 3 movies to help us connect with The Hobbit, and I sadly feel confident that installment 3 will come and go and I'll feel totally disconnected to the characters in this trilogy, and even worse, it may damage my feelings for the LotR Trilogy.
A LIST OF SPOILERS: 1. Smaug is introduced brilliantly. What follows however, is utter disappointment. Bilbo, lacking any discretion as he eyes the Arkenstone. Is this realistic behavior? A bunch of fat dwarfs tricking Smaug in his own lair. Really? This is where the book got it right. It was just Bilbo and Smaug, and Smaug could not see Bilbo, who was wearing the ring. And even invisible, Bilbo was petrified. Such is the fear that Smaug should invoke; fear that Jackson fails to stir. 2. Legolas and other characters have gone from near-impossible feats in the LotR to non-stop suspensions of reality. Is this the Matrix, where the laws of physics can be ignored? This may sound hypercritical, but constantly defying the laws of physics reduces the movie to a video game with human characters, rather than a film that is cleverly using CGI. The lack of reality is ongoing and overbearing. 3. So, the party gets to the Lonely Mountain, and presumably the entrance, in which a keyhole will be revealed at last light. Well, the sun sets, and there's no keyhole, and the dwarfs, after mere seconds, give up and begin to descend the mountain. Really? Just like that? Aren't they accustomed to obscure riddles/instructions by now? My message to Jackson is this: whether being faithful to the book or not, be faithful to the characters' motives and context, and you'd actually make the audience care.
I'll stop momentarily, because I want to actually enjoy my day, and reliving this very mediocre movie is not going to help. I hope that Jackson's obsession with CGI and other technological cinematic advances diminishes, so he can once again make movies with real characters, and memorable dialogue.
The LotR Trilogy is on a shelf in our home, and I can safely say The Hobbit Trilogy will never find its way on that shelf, or any other.