8 stars? You MUST be joking.

Rating: 2/10 (9 May 2014)

I really enjoyed "The Trilogy of the Ring" and I liked reading "The Hobbit", so I was very disappointed when I saw "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013).
There is no compelling plot. There is no character development. The dialog is uninspired. There is not a single character who connects with the audience; or with any other character, for that matter. Gandalf appears at the beginning of the movie and then reappears at the end... he was missing throughout most of the movie.
The entire film consists of ugly orcs (they all look a lot alike) who are hypo-testosteroned half-wits who love fighting anything they see, even rocks. They're bulked up and covered with war paint and they have fearsome weapons. Fortunately, they are no match for two elves and an unarmed hobbit! Every fight scene looks like every other fight scene, which look like the worst fight scenes from the trilogy... swarming orcs somehow being defeated by the greatly-undermanned but truly-inspirational hobbit community.
The special effects are not bad.
Here's the thing: Peter Jackson is running a scam on us. Groupies like me come running back and we contribute our money in the hope that we will see a good movie, hopefully even better than the trilogy. What we get is... (What? I can't say that?).
You might be able to watch this movie and enjoy it, if you prepare correctly. The first step would have to be liberal application of mind-numbing pharmaceuticals with optical enhancements. Then get someone to drive you to the theater, please.