Michael Bay's The Hobbit

Rating: 6/10 (4 January 2014)

Like a Michael Bay movie, The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug delivers one-liners, flat characters, and constant running battles. It's a far cry from the epic splendour of the Lord of the Rings movies or the original source material.
Central characters are reduced to thin caricatures of themselves. Thorin comes across as petty rather than regal, weakly acted by Richard Armitage. His mood swings seem more like the tantrums of a teenager than the tortured efforts of a man who's lost his home to reclaim what is rightfully his. The glory and tragedy are lost.
There are some truly illogical bits that killed the suspension of disbelief. Even a hero as powerful as Bard could not move a ten-ton barge by swishing the rudder back and forth. Legolas suffers from a classic unlimited-ammo scenario. I counted 72 dead orcs without reloading his bow — he's known by his fellow Mirkwood elves as "Rambo" perhaps.
Gandalf's side adventures show more potential. I don't mind, in principle, expanding the story with material from the Lord of the Rings. But Gandalf's encounter with Sauron, while visually astounding, doesn't ring true. I don't recall Gandalf being captured in Dol Guldur. That's a big blow to the reputation of Gandalf, in a series that is otherwise trying to remain true to Tolkien's core story.
The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug isn't so much epic as action movie. It's a series of lengthy running battles punctuated by occasional one-liners. Plot and character are sacrificed for more arrows, more leaps, more dizzying 3D zooms through beautifully realized battlefields.
This is not The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien, this is The Hobbit by Michael Bay.