The Desolation of Peter Jackson

Rating: 5/10 (14 January 2014)

WARNING: Some of the info here may be regarded as spoilers. Do not read if you have not seen the film.
The stars are purely for a few fine visuals.
I cannot separate my Hobbit watching from my decades-long Tolkien obsession. Therefore, I cannot review this film except from the perspective of a disappointed Tolkien fan. But so what? That is, in fact, a perfectly valid perspective to take on a film based on a well- known and beloved book and created universe. When a film maker sets out to do a film with such source material, he accepts that certain expectations come with it. Sadly, Peter Jackson, who is a Tolkien fan himself, has jumped the shark in these Hobbit movies. For the record, I love the LotR films by Jackson. They are not perfect, but they are largely faithful in spirit to the source material. Where he deviates, I understand WHY he deviated, even if I don't always agree with the changes. Sometimes, he even improves on Tolkien. I have been surprised at certain details which I thought I remembered from the books, only to find they actually came from the films. But mostly, the LotR films are explainable in terms of Tolkien's world. In addition, the very way the films were made makes that world seem like a real, living place. The characters seem like real people or creatures. In contrast, the Hobbit movies are mostly artificial and contrived. I cannot detail all of the ways that The Desolation of Peter Jackson-- Smaug, I mean--grated on me. That would require more viewings than I am willing to give the film and more time and effort than it is worth. So let me give one example each of where Jackson added something which might have worked, but blew it, and where he simply blew it. 1.)Elf-Dwarf relationships. Sorry, but Elves and Dwarfs simply don't fall in love, ever. It's contrary to both of their natures by everything that we know about the races from Tolkien. Therefore, it is contrary to Nature itself. That means the very idea is just too damn kinky for Tolkien's world. HOW IT COULD HAVE WORKED: Tauriel strikes up a simple friendship with Kili. That's perfectly plausible as we know from Legolas's later friendship with Gimli (and Kili is quite likable, maybe TOO likable for a dwarf). Legolas could have been indignant that Tauriel was friends with a dwarf. That would have been a wonderfully ironic stance for Legolas in light of future events. It would have added depth to Legolas's character across the trilogies, as would have his relationship with Tauriel. But the "love triangle" angle is preposterous on its face. 2.) The decision to go full CGI with the baddies. I'm sure that the gray guy chasing the dwarfs around for most of the film will be a fine villain in the video game, but Lurtz from The Fellowship of the Ring was FAR more menacing because he had a real presence in the form of a real flesh and blood actor playing him on screen. Jackson just blew it in the basic decision process here. In a tendency which is visible even in the LotR trilogy, and which has grown in every film since then, he is letting his movie-making toys gradually overwhelm his simple movie- making good sense. This has not been a happy trend for him, in my estimation. RANDOM GRIPES: --Smaug was the most interesting character in the film, as in the book. No problem. But why am I more impressed with the dragon from Dragonslayer of 32 years ago than with the smooth CGI creation here? --I hated the whole Lake Town sequence. It was depressingly ridiculous. --Why don't these dwarfs have BEARDS?? Even young dwarfs have BEARDS-- long, flowing beards-- not just a few random whiskers. --Decide, Peter. Are the dwarfs hardy adventurers or bumbling clowns? They can't be both. It throws the tone off. --It is perfectly clear from Tolkien's writings that Gandalf enters Dol Guldur by stealth. He is flat out forbidden by the Valar to match power with power against the Enemy. We don't need Gandalf to try to be some bad ass hero dude. He needs to be smart, know his limitations, and work with the White Council. Sauron was sort of cool, but the sequence was not. I will dutifully go to see the third film, also, but I won't care to ever see any of these films again, in all probability. Final gripe: spell check keeps changing d*w*a*r*v*e*s to "dwarfs." Sigh...