A sad schlocking of a subtle tale.

Rating: 1/10 (15 January 2014)

They stripped the book to it's basic plot, subtracted a whole lot of the actual story, then added comic-violence, action scenes and hokey new characters. What they've added never rises above nonsense on it's own right and coupled with what they extracted, wholly detracts from the true tale of courage and friendship that Tolkien wrote.
Who is this one armed Ork? Where did this Elf woman come from? Why does Radagast get more than a mention? What the hell is Orlando Bloom doing there?
Why isn't it Bilbo, getting them out of everything, all on his own after Gandalf leaves? Wasn't that the whole point of the book? Why Tolkien called it "The Hobbit" and not something else?
The slapstick action scenes even seem designed to become future theme rides in whatever amusement park the studio is connected to.
Beyond the visual candy, this is a wretched and whorish adaptation of a wonderful story.
Sad.