The Hobbit: The Desolation of Staying Awake

Rating: 6/10 (14 December 2013)

This will be lengthly.
Okay, let me start with saying I like the LOTR trilogy just fine, thought they were great. On that note, I saw the first Hobbit and fell asleep in a theatre for the first time in my life. That movie was terribly boring and utterly pointless. So much happened in hopes of aiding the plot but it didn't move an inch. It took over 3 hours for them to tell the audience where they needed to go. And they (finally) arrive in Hobbit 2.
This movie has over the top CGI action everywhere and I honestly think they just did that so you don't pay attention to the terrible plot and pointless screen fillers Peter Jackson throws at you. Desolation of Smaug introduces so many characters that have no substance and have no reason to be on screen, like "Legolas #2" near the last 30 minutes, or the forced relationship between a dwarf and Legolas's interest. It served no purpose.
Peter Jackson has a huge hard on for visuals and this movie delivers in that regard. It's a gorgeous movie with an amazing art design behind it. But if you choose to put more focus on that detail rather than the pacing/dialogue, the movie will suffer; and it did. I appreciate the art direction but when I'm asleep I can't--and yes, I was nodding off during this movie too. Luckily for The Hobbit 2, the action scenes woke me back up for a short while.
Martin Freeman once again is the perfect Bilbo but has hardly any dialogue or focus as a character. The hobbit of "The Hobbit" is overshadowed by 4 of the 13 dwarfs. "Aragorn" Oakenshield also hates Bilbo again even though they all respected him after the first movie. Basically, Bilbo and Gandalf are the only characters I cared about. Everyone else on screen was basically there to speak in a serious, English accent and fill a role.
Smaug, voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch, is what saved me from hating this movie. His introduction, the CGI, the voice...man. He is one intimidating and awesome s.o.b. You truly are in awe when he shows his full size and moves and breathes fire. My god when he breathes fire...it's the most amazing thing to see. Smaug is one of the better dragon adaptations in any movie that I've seen in recent years. BUT THEN HERE COME THE Dwarfs. Let's just title this movie: "The Hobbit: Convenience." How does the dragon that destroyed an entire city of dwarfs fail at killing/injuring 13 of them hiding behind the most conveniently placed walls in his lair? How can 13 small little warriors outrun and dodge a ball of fire that stretches from wall to wall in that huge f***ing lair?? I was seriously angry laughing in the theater at how stupid and worthless they made Smaug after amazingly introducing him.
And then, just like the first movie, we have a villain getting away. Smaug gets away yes, but right now I'm talking about Ogre #2. Not the one with the claw arm from the first one who serves NO PURPOSE (who is there again), but Ogre #2 who also IS WORTHLESS to the movie and DOESN'T DIE. You introduce two meaningless side villains and you don't even off them, yet the other ogres get their heads cut off willy nilly and for comedic value? I just don't understand.
How in the world is this going to wrap up in one more movie? There are so many loose ends to tie up it's not even funny.
I'm just going to go ahead and guess Peter Jackson wanted everyone to remember he made LOTR and decided to make these. Not because he cares, but because he new that there would be a sum of money equal to that of Smaug's treasure room if he did.
Even though this review appears very negative, I'll still give this film a 6/10, only for the action, which was admittedly entertaining and humorous, and the scenes with Gandalf, Bilbo (alone), and Smaug, which were the backbone to this watchable but mediocre tale.