The Hobbit 3: An Unexplained Journey that Will Addle the Brain.

Rating: 1/10 (23 December 2014)

Everything about how this movie was made annoyed me. This review will unpack some of my thoughts on the experience by analyzing the films structural composition, issues with the plot and script writing, and the aesthetics of the film itself.
Looking at some of the aspects of the composition, to begin with, there was absolutely no down time or character development in the film. It was just like being run over by a train at 100% speed for two and a half hours. I felt like the film lacked a coherent intro which summarized the previous events from the last instalment. Moreover, The film desperately needed more serious dialogue to build up the battle/ make it seem more important. For instance, I really felt like they didn't give enough information to contextualize WHY exactly Sauron chose to reveal himself and wage war at that exact time. They did give explanations but honestly they seemed way too simplistic for me (i.e. 'Erabor is a good strategic battle place'). I felt like the lack of a developed narrative was probably a product of them over indulging in battle scenes in the second film. Considering the total run time of the trilogy, they simply ate up available time to strengthen the characters and plot and instead used it on explosions and fight scenes.
Additionally, the movie had all sorts of issues with the plot which mostly stemmed from numerous unexplained situations. For instance, they never sorted out the dispute over the treasure between the races (i'm pretty sure that was the whole point of the war in the first place), secondly they completely abandoned any information on the Dol-Goldur scene post Saruman's departure. Was Saruman supposed to be evil from that point onwards or was he evil prior to that? If he was evil, why didn't he chose to just aid Sauron in that initial battle and backstab Galadriel, Elrond, and Gandalf. Two of the three we're severely weakened. They easily could of been overpowered. Also, why was there no funeral for Thorin or the two dwarf brothers? i'm pretty sure they were supposed to be important characters. The film completely failed to synthesize any of the events that happened at the end into a comprehensive and satisfying conclusion. Once the war ended - the movie ended. Why on earth should I care about these characters again? obviously the film makers didn't so I guess I don't either.
In terms of the battle itself, I find it absolutely absurd and implausible that they were able to turn the tide in the fight with the minimal information the audience was given in regards to their newly added reinforcements during the battle. I clearly remember that, at the mid way point of the film (before the 12 dwarfs had left the stone city), they were terribly out numbered. How on (middle) earth am I supposed to believe that the addition of 12 dwarfs into the battle could completely change the fortunes of a severely out numbered and depleted allied contingency? Also, those giant worms at the beginning of the battle. Did they even use those? i'm pretty sure those things could of probably wiped out the planet if the felt like it. finally, that nonsense with the eagles, they were supposedly strong enough to negate an ENTIRE other army? what?
The overall look and feel of this film annoyed me. The lighting and visual experience of this film felt awfully similar to a day-time soap opera. The visuals were overly saturated. Everything was way to bright and soft at the same time. I think it would have been better if they had just avoided that. The softening and saturation effect reduced the rawness and overall harshness of armed conflict and ultimately seemed to desensitize me to the horrific events the were actually going on. I don't care if its fantasy or real life, war isn't something to be taken lightly and the way they approached definitely detracted from that. The mood itself was also way to light-hearted. That dofus character, Alfred, he surely did not need to be in the film and he was nothing more than a 'Jar-Jar Blinks' type device for comic relief. This film did not need any additional comic relief with all of the implausible 'gravity defying' (i.e Legolas on the stairs) battle sequences. Also, the love story between the Dwarf and the Elf was undeveloped and probably unnecessary. It detracts from the importance of Legolas and Gimlis' friendship in the future films because obviously its not the weird that elves and dwarfs can be friends. Additionally, I really disliked the franchises multiple attempts to reference the 'Lord of the Ring's' films. I know they're from the same universe and related to each other, i'm not an idiot and I don't care. That scene where Legolas' father suggests to him to visit Aragon up north. That did not need to be there. Am I supposed to believe that over the next 40 something years, Legolas decides that 'oh yeah, I hear that Aragon dude has a good start up project up north' 'i'll just go up there since I have ABSOLUTELY nothing better to do'. Also, he knows absolutely nothing about him other than maybe one or two words of positive recommendation from his father. That is not convincing or, in any sense, a realistic motivator for anyone. If they wanted to bring up this subject in the first place, they should of expanded on it to increase both, the credibility, and the backstory behind Aragon and Legolas' history.
In conclusion, the 'Battle of the Five Armies' is a pretty flawed movie. It mostly will just be popular based on an established brand name and series. All of that unfortunately overshadows the fact that this movie has numerous holes due to composition/limited character development, plot holes, and poor aesthetic film making choices.