Absolute, tedious, self-indulgent rubbish. Worst movie of the year.

Rating: 1/10 (4 May 2015)

I never bothered to see The Hobbit movies in theatre for two reasons. Bad word of mouth complaining about the pacing tedium and the fact that the third film exists for the express purpose of milking the cash cow to enrich Peter Jackson, producers, his stars and the studios.
It turns out I was right by avoiding The Hobbit series in theatre, preferring to wait for rental video. It turns out all Hobbit movies are forgettable fluff.
The worst of the Hobbit trilogy is easily the third and last entry, The Battle of the Five Armies.
What to say about this movie? Disjointed, incoherent, predictable, treacly, inane, tedious, contrived (lol, stupid romantic interlude) and ridiculously self-indulgent.
95% of this movie is strictly filler. You could watch until the dragon villain concludes within the first 15 minutes and then skip to the last ten minutes before the end credit and you will not miss anything, only a somewhat satisfying conclusion.
Self-indulgence is the operative term for Peter Jackson.
The filler portion is the most protracted and boring part that runs interminably. You will be bored crapless and you'll nod off to sleep soundly while this movie runs that make absolutely no sense character-wise and plot-wise (minus the pathetic reason that relate to avarice which form the motivation for the inane filler that run two darned hours).
Kill the damned dragon already. Then fast forward, by skipping right after the dragon is vanquished, to see a sparsely amusing conclusion. There, save yourself the two agonizing hours that is much ado about nothing.
Peter Jackson and his team of writers, including Guillermo Del Toro, are interested in padding out the length that expand to the third film, to serve as the cash cow. Milk, milk, milk until the bucket is full.
Given how spectacularly awful the film is, from beginning to the end (even with the dragon's brief speaking part), Peter Jackson has proved himself to be the hack, trying to exploit JRR Tolkien's simple story to fill with grotesque and violent content for the third film, allegedly citing the appendixes that serve as the major portion of the movie.
In view of the execrable quality of this so-called movie, courtesy of Jackson's insanity with his love of inane and bloated epics that comprise The Hobbit trilogy, there is the good news.
The executioner of the Tolkien estate, Christopher, have flat-out refused to agree to sell the movie rights to any more of his father JRR's work, following the lawsuit filed against the studios and producers over the royalty in box office earnings for The Lord of the Rings trilogy (quickly resolved with the non-disclosure settlement terms with a big reimbursement payment).
Hear that, Jackson and Del Toro? You will never get to adapt The Silmarillion, JRR's novel that precedes The Hobbit with the First Age of the Middle Earth story.
Enough about the exploitation. It is not passion to tell the story, but rather the passion to be massively self-indulgent while milking the cash cow for personal enrichment. This movie adaptation of the Hobbit series is not what JRR envisioned, given how overlong and bloated it is.
Thankful there exist Tolkien Edit version that purport to trim the fat to reflect JRR Tolkien's simple and true book volume. That's what I look forward to, awaiting the finalized alternative edition.
Bloated is bloated and tedium is tedium. All must be obliterated to find the real version that is missing, thanks to Jackson and company's sheer and unapologetic self-indulgence.
Bloated and tedious make for the spectacularly awful movie to save the last for the worst, all for milking the giant cash cow. Disgustingly greedy and repulsive in debasing JRR Tolkien's literacy legacy.
Indeed, the worst movie of the year, for the casual moviegoers with discriminating taste, only to be bored senseless by the insane and pointless two hour filler non-sense.
1/2 star out of 4