The Hobbit: Oooh, shiny red ball

Rating: 2/10 (7 January 2015)

Seriously, this isn't even a movie. This is an addendum to Desolation of Smaug, which in itself requires a healthy dose of "Wait for it..." from the viewer to sit down and watch.
Nothing in this movie matters. At all! It offers absolutely nothing substantial to the franchise. Everything that should have been covered isn't and anything you couldn't care less about is emphasized.
All five armies fight over shiny stuff. It's like watching a bunch of kindergarten kids on a playground. "I had it first!", "Give it back!", "No", "I want it!", "you're a poopy head!", "You're a bigger poopy head!", "I'm telling on you!!!" We don't give a flying frak about why they're all fighting or even who will win or what the consequences are because we wish they'd all just grow up and learn that what they're fighting about doesn't matter in the least. We're told at the beginning of Fellowship that Elves are wise... not here. They're just as greedy as the dwarfs and men.
And above all, what is so important about the stupid arkenstone? Ooh, shiny!!! And what are the dwarfs going to do with all their gold? Just look at it 'till they die? What if they won? OK, we've got the gold. Now what? Why not show us HOW Saurumon became evil? Or any other number of stories that the original trilogy left out. If you're going to make crap up at least make it connect with what we already know.
Stupid, pointless, a waste of time. Pick your adjective but they all apply.