The Hobbit: An Unexciting Journey

Rating: 6/10 (18 December 2012)

This film is mildly recommended.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey suffers from a terrible case of the "cutes". So, to honor Peter Jackson's misguided approach to J.R.R. Tolkien's classic tale, this review will segue into the world of the pun and groaners due to the candy-coated handling of this slightly disappointing venture.
In this prequel of immensely superior The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Martin Freeman stars as Bilbo Baggins, uncle of Frodo ( or Dildo Gaggings, if he ever needs a porn name ). Ian McKellan returns as the wizard, Gandalf, with a mission impossible for the young hero of our story to accept. Riches and treasures may be the reward although they are guarded by an evil dragon named Smaug ( and there just might be a magical ring too ). So Bilbo teams up with a baker's dozen of dwarfs ( as if seven or eight wasn't enough ). They set off to do battle and reclaim the lost kingdom of Erebor, fighting orcs, giants, and other creatures along the way.
Though not named for the most famous grouping of tiny people, excluding those ever lovin' Munchkins, these pint-size adventurers exhibit the same traits found in the land of Disney. It's a small world after all and an even smaller wonder that there is not a Sneezy or Happy found in the bunch, but Dopey and Grumpy could surely fit in this motley bunch. This merry band of men all lose their respective charm mid-entrance as silly slapstick ensues. Endearing they're not. Annoying they are.
It's Middle-earth here, and middling is best way to describe the treatment of this film adaptation, especially in the film's slow first hour or so. The film takes an unexpected extended approach, making Tolkien's single novel into three separate installments for moviegoers to view in the upcoming years. Obviously Jackson and the studio honchos are hoping the Hobbit franchise will be Hobbit-forming. ( Well, I for one am not addicted to this series as yet. )
This Hobbit hobbles along its merry way, happy to be gonzo in its extravagance with the latest state-of-the-art CGI and dopey in its breakthrough with fast-speed technology. Jackson wanted a sharper image to his film and produced it with a higher frame rate, ( 48 FPS vs. the customary 24 FPS ) which has gotten mixed results from those who have seen that version in a few selected theaters. I am not one of the lucky ( or unlucky ) moviegoer to experience that sensation as that version is only slated to play in specially equipped movie- houses, none of which are nearby. ) Still, if only Jackson paid more attention to script details, story-wise, the film could have pick up its own pace too. The overall tone of the film version resembles a live action cartoon rather than a thrilling fantasy adventure tale for grown-ups.
However, there is much to recommended with the film's splendid production values and the technically proficient CGI that one comes to expect from the director and his talented film crew. Some encounters resonate well, like the set pieces in the goblins' lair and the sudden attack of the stone giants. The battle scenes are uniformly well staged and the fluid tracking shots help create some tension, mostly in the film's latter sequences.
There is also a brilliant sequence toward the end of the film which brings Bilbo and his nemesis, the delightfully tormented and conflicted Gollum ( winning animated by Andy Serkis and the artisans ) into play. The give-and-take of these characters and their clever dialog of riddles energizes the film, bringing it momentarily to life. It is only that brief resuscitation that shows exactly what this film could have been if the filmmakers had the courage to embrace a more serious view of the story instead of its childlike safe and innocuous vision of the tale. The overly sensitive handling of the darker side of evil may bring more kiddies to the till, but at what price glory?
There's just too much sunshine and lollipops in this film's version for this moviegoer. I sat there a-waiting the sparkling rainbows and pretty unicorns to come dancing into view. This film experience delivered an unexpected point of view from Jackson and company, one that I did not envisioned from Tolkien's book. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey should have been drastically cut down to size, rewritten, and renamed The Hobbit: An Unending Journey. Pompous it is. Precious it ain't. GRADE: B-
ANY COMMENTS: Please contact me at: jadepietro@rcn.com