The Hallmark Hobbit

Rating: 6/10 (15 December 2012)

On it's own, this film is a solid 8, by Hollywood blockbuster standards. However, because it's intentionally designed to work together with the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, you can't have a conversation about a Hobbit movie without comparing it to one of the greatest achievements ever captured on film (LOTR). The Hobbit Unexpected Journey falls short of that bar by a considerable margin. It's not bad movie by any means. Go see it if you haven't! But it is disappointing. To use the parlance of our times, here's a win/fail operandi:
Win:
1. GOLLUM'S CAVE- Stunning.
2. FIGHTS BETWEEN THORIN AND WHITE ORC- The rivalry is one dimensional, but very intense.
3. GANDALF'S EAGLES- will leave your jaw open.
3. RIVENDALE- Rich with dialogue (although most of it was unnecessary as it foreshadowed what we already know will happen in LOTR), texture, and Gandalf subtext. Incredible acting and set design... and the Christopher Lee cameo was most welcome.
4. MARTIN FREEMAN-Completely nailed it. Unassuming, matter-of-fact like. He was Bilbo.
Fail:
1. RADAGAST- Really? A Santa Claus sleigh being towed by rabbits? Zipping back and forth across the hills, making Warg dogs chase it? It just looked ridiculous. Radagast was given about 30 minutes of slapstick screen time. He was over the top and animated like a Disney character- going cross-eyed while smoking marijuana from Gandalf's pipe- sure it got a chuckle, but it's cheesy and not consistent with the tone of the LOTR Trilogy. They could have done this character much better.
2. THE ROCK FIGHT SEQUENCE- Two mountains turn into human rock figures and duke it out for a good long while. It felt like a Transformers movie. Just too much staged action.
3. THE MUSIC- 75% of it was re-mixed from LOTR soundtrack. It was also very pompus and over the top at times- using unoriginal blockbuster orchestra templates. Hugely disappointing for Howard Shore. The original LOTR soundtrack was so groundbreaking. This was the biggest disappointment.
4. AND WHAT IS A DWARF?- They didn't grow on you- plain and simple. They didn't act or behave like great warriors, like J.R.D. portrayed in Gimli. But rather, it was a Hallmark portrayal of Dwarvdom. There was no Gimli here. Not even close. Thorin was the only badass, and he looked and behaved nothing like a Dwarf.
5. THE TROLLS- Very Pixar/Disney like. Not consistent with the look or demeanor of the great Cave Troll in Fellowship of the Ring. And again, the slapstick thing has infected Peter Jackson's ability to tell the epic story on film. It worked for "Meet the Feebles" or "Dead Alive", but once he made LOTR, he set a new standard. Now we're watching a legend overstay his welcome.
6. THE MOUNTAIN ORC LEADER- Way too animated. This was the Jar-Jar Binks moment. He was like Java the Hut mixed with a less intelligent Davy Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean. It was suspicious.
7. 48 FRAMES PER SECOND- This ruined the entire movie-going experience. It took you out of the story and it made the entire production look like a BBC special. And no... we don't have to "get used to it." I'm so tired of that executive excuse. It doesn't work, period. It's shocking that Peter Jackson & studio made this bizarre decision. 24 frames per second is the only way to watch this film or any film. Don't buy into the hype. It's a way for the studios to make an extra 500 Million, because people want to see it both ways. It's disgusting. 48 frames per second is for sports and documentaries. It's technology being misused like the auto-tune. Even if you like the auto-tune effect in some music, you wouldn't want to hear Pink Floyd auto tuned, would you?
The Hobbit has a few good scenes, a half dozen terrible scenes and a few GREAT scenes (Gollum's Cave is hands down the greatest achievement ever in motion capture acting. Andy Serkis' performance in this film really should prompt the Academy to open a new category). But it seems Peter Jackson isn't as hungry this time around. Too much collaboration with Steven Spielberg has clearly clouded his judgment over the last 15 years.