This movie manages to be both boring and ridiculous; good job!

Rating: 4/10 (18 October 2015)

Normally when I write a review, I like to leave a little time where I just kind of introduce the movie, without actually giving you my opinion, but not this time, no I just want to dive right in and tell you what I thought. I didn't really expect to like this movie,and I was right. The movie drags... it drags something awful. It's 2.5 hours long, and it's the first half of a book that was like four hundred pages (maybe less, I'm not sure) nor was the plot particularly involved, and there were only like two characters who actually got an development, so this time is really unwarranted. I will admit that I've never been the biggest LOTR fan, they're fine movies, but they're really long, and there's not enough depth to the characters to really get me that interested. Like I say, they're fine movies, just not my favorites. This movie though, I don't even see the appeal. I'm going to make a comparison here that might ruffle a few feathers, but okay, whatever. The Hobbit movies are like The Star Wars prequels. That's how I see the Hobbit movies (though for the record, I don't hate the Star Wars prequels like everyone else seems to). They're dumb, long, overly boring, and they just shamelessly rip off the originals and in a sense, ruin their legacy. But what about this movie makes it so bad? Let me give you an example. Our protagonist, Bilbo, is just your average kinda hobbit guy who just likes to relax, who Gandalf wants to bring on this adventure for some reason. It takes him like forty-five minutes to go on this quest. Forty- five. Minutes. The movie also just stops at a point, and shows them in elf land just hanging out and...just sitting there. They just sit there for awhile, talk some about boring stuff and then the movie continues. Another point I've stressed heavily is how cartoonish this movie is. Like, they go to sleep in a cave, and it's a Goblin cave or something, so naturally the floor is a trapdoor, that they just pop open, and send our heroes plunging down a huge pit, seriously, like fifty feet at least, and no one's seriously injured. We also have an orc guy with mechanical arm for the villain who sticks around way too long. Let's also just hold a moment of silence where in a live action movie, being shown in theaters around the world, with a PG-13 rating, a man rides off on a sled...pulled by rabbits. Yeah, none of that is made up. Let's also mention all these characters we've got. Bilbo who's just... a guy, who wants to relax... Thorin a...dwarf who wants to get his kingdom back and who... doesn't like Bilbo, plus a dozen faceless, bumbling dwarfs... at least we got Gandalf.