Tasteless and utterly nauseating

Rating: 2/10 (12 March 2006)

Before I delve into the disgusting display of tasteless waste, I should probably confess I am not generally a fan of horror films. Personally, I favor psychological thrillers--you know, scary situations with actual plots driven by a decent screenplay. A friend dragged me to this film but I also confess, I had to close my eyes for much of it to avoid yoking on the poor kid in front of me. (By the way, what sick bastard took a kid to see this thing?) The one thing this film had going for it was excellent performances. The actors--fantastic. It's just too bad all they had to do was die. There is no story, no plot, no point. A man blows his head off (yess, you get to see it all), another man is burned alive, a teenage girl gets raped, two women are shot, a baby is kidnapped, and a number of corpses (including a dog) are eaten. All this aside, there are some mutated freaks wondering around moaning and making every attempt to be as grotesque as possible. Like most other slashers, "The Hills Have Eyes" is also devoid of a conclusion. Surrounding me in the theatre was a nice variety of folks (mostly teenagers). Some occasionally offered some nervous laughter (and clapped a little), others sat there, like me, trying desperately not to throw up, and the rest just sat and stared. Just a tip--this movie will not move nor frighten you nor inspire you nor anything else one would expect to get out of a movie. There is no matter of substance, point, or taste in seeing this vile piece of crap. SAVE YOUR MONEY AND AVOID!