A Trip Gone Wrong

Rating: 4/10 (11 March 2006)

"The Hills Have Eyes" features a small family that goes on an incredible trip that suddenly became a living hell. Such was the same unfortunate fate of the movie itself. The movie had potential to be a great thriller, but slowly faded into a world of horror movie clichés and improbable situations.
A small area in New Mexico was designated a nuclear testing site. However a family of miners refused to leave the area. The result: a generation of deformed beings with a strong resentment to the rest of the human race.
This movie tells the story of a small family on their way to San Diego. The movie was successful in establishing the family as a relatable and likable group of people. There is a retired cop father, a loving mother who was once a 60's hippie, their oldest daughter along with her baby and husband (the son-in-law looking for the approval of the in-laws), the adorable adolescents Bobbie and Brenda, and their lovable canines Beauty and Beast. Aww how cute.
Little do they know, they are driving directly into the clutches of another family that is not so lovable. A group of deranged individuals, physically and mentally, who not only rob from the passing tourists, but mutilate them, and of course, the inevitable tendency for deranged families in horror films to indulge in the delicacy of cannibalism.
The film was good in setting the atmosphere for the different families and in turning up the suspense and tension when the two collide. In the beginning, you surprisingly care for the tourist family and hope they make it out alive. But as the events transpire, and the family begins to make stupid decisions, and the deformed family begin to make stupider ones, the emotional content of the film is lost, including any hint of compassion and even, unfortunately, fear.
There were a few walkouts in the theater when I watched it opening night, but i couldn't tell if they were due to the graphic content, or the unsatisfactory film-making. There are moments of great suspense and a phenomenal makeup job on the Texas Chainsaw-like ensemble. But seriously, when are victims in movies going to learn never to leave each other alone and follow unfamiliar noises? And when will cannibalistic families learn to eat 'em when you get the chance, instead of waiting around and giving your dinner that final opportunity to get away?
For what it's worth, this was a decent attempt, and the movie is good enough for a rental. But when it comes down to it, I'd rather spend a night in those hills than a night with the crazy truck driver in Harold and Kumar. "The Hills Have Eyes" is not so much a horror film as it is an instructional video for what not to do when going on a cross-country road trip. Never trust gas attendants. Unless its a Shell.