Vapid, Sloppy, Dull Horror

Rating: 2/10 (9 July 2018)

Man, oh man. I remember 12 years ago when I was a horror-hound junior in High School and the trailer/website for The Hills Have Eyes remake showed up on the internet. Despite my luke-warm response to High Tension (the clunky Lions Gate released a R-Rated english dubbed version left me disappointed) I was excited to say the least.
Before I start critiquing, I want to note that I do enjoy a lot of horror remakes; The Thing is arguably one of the best horror films ever made. I found The Ring superior to Ringu, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) was a surprisingly brutal & unsettling experience, The Last House On the Left (2009) shot a dose of family drama into what many were expecting to be a trope-saturated horror flick, and I Spit On Your Grave was a balls-the-wall revenge shocker with no signs of pretentious social commentary. The fact that THHE is a remake is not the problem, it's just a really bad film.
The film is so paper thin. The acting is solid, if not lazy at times. The violence is rather overt with no real purpose aside from appeasing to the fans of the vapid Saw franchise. The hillbilly killers look like guys from those high production haunted hayride events; they're costumes, blatantly absurd to look like actual monsters; it feels like you're playing something out of the Mortal Konbat universe. The most 'shocking' parts are nothing other than exploitation in high contrast. The camera work/editing is similar to a heavy metal music video, and the music at one point mimics the National Anthem after an American flag gets stabbed through a skull; I mean, were they serious? Then they try to justify this whole deliberate killfest at attempting to make somencommentary on the injustice of social classes? Kill me now! Horrendous movie.