An AWFUL Movie That You Have To See

Rating: 10/10 (23 March 2006)

If you're looking to be legitimately scared by a great horror movie DO NOT SEE THE HILLS HAVE EYES. If however you're looking for a good movie to see with some friends, with some cheap (and far fewer not so cheap) scares & have a good time this is the movie for you. This movie will scare you, it will make you jump and make your body tense up, but it will also make you laugh out loud and wonder if it's trying to make fun of itself or if it is supposed to be legit. By the end of the showing I went to opening weekend the entire audience was laughing at parts in the film which were, for lack of a better word, pathetic. The film had a very strong start, but lost all it's shock/scare value and finished somewhere below "The Fog (2005)" Would I see it again if I was drunk? IN A HEARTBEAT.
=======SPOILERS BELOW======
The first time I burst out laughing was when the row of spikes shown in the preview which pops the tires on the SUV is pulled back by an unseen mystery man-mutant. And all we hear is some muffled grunting/laughter noise reminiscent of a troll from a children's cartoon. (Fortunately for those of us seeking laughs this was not the last time the mutants in this movie failed to use their linguistic skills and instead decide to use a cliché grunt while communicating with each other.)
At no point in the "film" does any character make a choice that makes any sense whatsoever. (Why shoot a bad guy with one of the bullets from your fully loaded handgun when you could kill him by blowing up your RV with everything you own inside it?)
The movie is also riddled with inconsistencies which just obliterate the little integrity it had coming up on the final scene, when a mutant child, who's main deformity was her left eye, is all of a sudden miraculously healed? As her eye makeup wasn't done for this scene and her face looked completely normal.
The main message in this awesomely pathetic attempt at a motion picture is that physical deformities are not just skin deep, they penetrate to the soul; they make you a senseless killing machine who thirsts for the blood of humans.
"GO BEAST!"