I wish I didn't have eyes

Rating: 5/10 (14 March 2006)

Maybe that's a bit harsh. This was a bog-standard formulaic horror flick. Even if you hadn't seen the original, from the first minute of the movie onwards you would know the storyline, recognise when the jump scenes would be, and to be blunt you'd have a pretty accurate idea of how the film was going to end.
That in itself is not necessarily a criticism. I knew full well what I was going to see. I wasn't expecting bucket loads of originality, but I was expecting something more than a few folk in masks going "arrrrgh" as they chase after a character.
If I didn't know better I would have assumed certain scenes were spoofs (shots of our hero from below with sky whizzing past; shots of our hero with baby in one hand and dog leash in other; the German shepherd saving the day; beating a mutant with a shotgun - that's what you use one for, right? - then dropping it right next to the mutant that we all 'believed' was dead; etc etc).
However, I must defend one aspect. I'm actually quite shocked to find so many people found the gore over the top, sick, twisted, or depraved. To me at least, it seemed particularly standard fare. Also, unless the UK showed the scene with something removed, which I doubt, the rape scene was fairly tame and inoffensive.
All in all there is nothing memorable about the Hills.