I want my 2 hours back

Rating: 1/10 (9 August 2006)

Dear Mechameg, After reading your review of this god awful movie, I thought I'd respond. My comments in caps.
The Hills Have Eyes, although a remake of the original, was everything a horror movie should be.
IF SO, I RECOMMEND THE GENRE BE RETIRED AS UNREDEEMABLE
Typically, I'm not a fan of slasher flicks, but this movie had elements I like to see in a movie.
WHAT? DOGS EATING FREAKS? IT ENDED, THAT WAS ENOUGH FOR ME
I don't like to see the protagonists making stupid mistakes
MISTAKE NUMBER 1 - SIGNING UP FOR 'THE HILLS HAVE EYES'
I don't like being able to guess the villain 20 minutes into the movie
IS 'VILLAIN' REALLY THE RIGHT WORD? I'M PICTURING A SILENT MOVIE OF A MOUSTACHIOED MAN TYING THE DAUGHTER TO A RAILWAY TRACK ACCOMPANIED BY PIANO MUSIC AND SLIDES OF HER SCREAMING 'HELP!' RATHER THAN FREAKS RAPING HER AND THREATENING TO SHOOT HER BABY SISTER
(although this wasn't the scenario in this particular movie
I PICKED WES CRAVEN AS THE VILLAIN PRETTY MUCH IMMEDIATELY. I WAS CORRECT).
I don't enjoy picking out who's going to do die first, and being correct. I don't think sex scenes have any place in horror movies.
NO, JUST RAPE SCENES. TENDERNESS AND CONSENT, DEFINITE NO NO'S.
I like things to be important and advance the plot.
YEAH, TOTALLY. THINGS ARE GREAT
Although the movie had some "MTV" elements to it
WHAT, LIKE THE HOT CHICK? YEAH, SHE WAS HOT!
it still adhered to the classic horror movie thrills. The thing I liked about this movie was the fact that they repeatedly "crossed the line", doing things that you wouldn't expect modern movies to do
WHAT THE HELL IS A 'MODERN MOVIE'? AND WHEN IS CROSSING THE LINE AN INTRINSICALLY VALUABLE THING. DO YOU GIVE SNUFF MOVIES 12 STARS?,
nothing is off limits in this movie.
WELL THEY DIDN'T SHOW THE DOG...
Horrifying elements that made you, well, terrified.
HORRIFIED. NOT TERRIFIED. HORRIFIED.
Lots of "boo" surprises, but also more complex and twisted than modern movies have allowed.
THERE'S THAT TERM AGAIN, WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!?!
I spent most of the movie with my mouth agape...
AGOG.
It's not just the gore, although there is a lot of that.
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
They didn't leave anything to the imagination, did not imply anything...they showed you everything.
AH, NOW I'M GETTING THE 'MODERN MOVIE' THING. NO SUBTEXT.
It was admittedly a little slow at first, but then all of the sudden things began to take a turn for the wicked. One thing this movie did that most horror movies don't bother to do is go into character development.
AH YES, I'D FORGOTTEN ABOUT DOUG.
Not a lot,
I DON'T KNOW. FROM PACIFIST PANSY DEMOCRAT TO FREAK FRAGGIN, NIECE OGLING REPUBLICAN COWBOY IN 2 HOURS SEEMS LIKE RAPID CHANGE TO ME
but more so than a typical thriller will bother to do.
ARE YOU SAYING IT'S AN INTRINSICALLY LAZY GENRE? NO!!!
This movie was so disturbing, I'm not sure I'd want to see it again.
AH...FINALLY WE SEE EYE TO EYE ON SOMETHING, ALTHOUGH I THINK YOU'RE USING 'DISTURBING' DIFFERENTLY TO ME
That "Deliverance" mentality...you see it once, you're glad you saw it, but so disgusting you're pretty sure you don't want to experience that again.
I'VE GOT NO IDEA WHETHER YOU LIKED THIS MOVIE? 10/10 BUT YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE IT AGAIN? C'MON MAN, WATCH IT AGAIN. THEY DON'T IMPLY ANYTHING. THEY SHOW YOU EVERYTHING!
Any horror aficionado should see this movie.
WELL, THAT COUNTS ME OUT.
WHERE'S WES CRAVEN. I WANT MY LIFE BACK....