What the hell was this dreck?

Rating: 1/10 (31 January 2016)

Wow. Believe those who were bewildered by what an awful film this is. To quote Tarantino, those who are giving this film a high rating "have their mouth on my big ***** johnson". It's really that terrible.
So you've heard this is a western. Well, it's not really a western. And it's not really historical even though it plays like it is supposed to have some profound insight into the hatred of the black man rooted way back into civil war times. But unlike Django which was just way too long and a bit too ridiculous in its blaxploitation parody in the second half of the film, this one insults the viewer by not even being interesting. 90+ minutes of endless talking that takes place mostly in a stagecoach and a cabin. How this movie cost $62 million is beyond me unless Tarantino was paid by the word.
And like M. Night Shylaman or whatever his name is, Tarantino likes to fit himself into his own films. He's also usually very out of place. This time he completely outdoes himself and provides for an epic WTF moment that lasts a solid few minutes to finally kick this old dog in the rump to move it. You'll know the moment when you see it.
The writing is terrible. You've got a paranoid bounty hunter who is on the extreme end to make sure he doesn't lose his prize. Yet he does some things so absurdly out of character that can only be explained by a need to move the pieces into place. And the film is so poorly navigated that it feels as though Tarantino himself had to step in to steer it in a direction. You have to guess that a test audience must have given them the indication that the film was such a mess that it needed navigation.
And what was just a poor movie that was over the top goes full retard. Only Tarantino would have been given the green light to make this dull, flat, go nowhere "whodunit" movie that's like a sad version of Clue. It's painfully funny to read Tarantino fanatics talk about their second and third viewings of this film. This is like a bad parody of bad parodies of bad westerns and Clue bound together with nothing to say except for n*gg*r. This was no period piece like Django was, which was a mediocre and horribly long film saved only by having the best acting talent on the planet saving the film. At least that film had entertaining moments and a story that moved between long fluffy lulls. This entire film could be summarized in one paragraph.
First 95 minutes - introduce the characters. Last 80 minutes - a really slow, ultra talky bad version of clue. And Senor Bob was such a clownish character, you have to wonder whether Tarantino was trying to see how bad of a movie could be made and still watch enough critics say that something happened and that Tarantino's dialogue is entertainingly clever. It's not.
Save yourself. Prepare yourself. The 8.0 rating is faked.