Same actors, same shtick - call it longer, angrier and bloodier

Rating: 1/10 (31 January 2016)

Filmed in ultra wide screen so that all the unimportant things that would ordinarily be out of the viewers field of view are now in view. And right from the start, the dialogue comes out choppier than a one legged heroine from a Grindhouse movie. And the pace of this film is "molasses like". This should give you a good idea of what to expect:

How many times can Quentin get the N-word into a 3 hour film? - When will Quentin awkwardly insert himself into the film in a style that greatly resembles the late career of M. Night Shyalaman? - How much ultra smart talky dialogue can we fit into one film and was Quentin paid by the word?

To give you an idea of how amateurish this film feels, the score opens as if it were a spaghetti western - which you'd expect given who scored the music. And just 15 minutes later, some awkward song blurts in and abruptly out. And then comes a scene so ridiculous and predictable concerning a letter that you're not sure whether this movie is made for MST3K. And just when you think it's ridiculous, the plot gets even more ridiculous as Chapter Two opens, using the same font used in previous movies in Tarantino font that sticks out like old typewriter amidst a laser print out.
The very, very long opening of this film takes place in a stagecoach as the characters yap and yap and yap about... well.... nothing interesting. Just Quentin creatin' memorable witty conversation and flashing Samuel L. Jackson's white teeth and phony looking beard and speaking in way over the top exaggerations you'd find on Broadway. And everyone looks so nice and neat after being left out in the wilderness. Ladies and Gents, I believe we have the makins of The Hateful Eight - The Musical.
Quentin can't decide whether it's a parody of westerns and tries to also insert serious conversations about war, black vs. white history and more deep moments that seem more appropriate for discussion after a good long toke. And it's so meandering that a narrator is needed to tidy up this rambling wreck of a film / stage play.
The IMDb has this film rated an 8. But if you look you'll see so many reviews just like mine. Hundreds of them from real people who took out the time to say what a horrible film this is. Quentin says he'll only make 10 films and this one... is proudly presented as "#8" in the QT series. The studio couldn't let this film bomb the way it is in theaters. They must have paid thousands of third world people to storm the IMDb and vote this film a 10 rating. That's how bad this film is.