The Haplessning

Rating: 2/10 (10 January 2009)

Yes, I know that's not a word. It's just the kind of nonsense that can describe this movie. So many others here have felt compelled to come up with some play on words just to express their frustration over watching M. Night's latest train wreck of a movie and that says quite a lot.
Apparently Shyamalan (again) went out of his away to prove The Sixth Sense was a fluke after all. Signs and The Village were so-and-so and Unbreakable was only marginally more tolerable than this, but The Happening has got to be his career low so far.
As if his direction wasn't bad enough. he also wrote the script, and what a catastrophe this turned out to be. I mean, they're being killed by WHAT???
To add insult to injury, in comes the cast.
Mark Wahlberg. Give him an action hero part and he is OK, he's a lot like a younger, yet-to-be-surgically-enhanced, slightly depleted version of Bruce Willis'. Give him anything else and he is a wooden plank. That classroom scene early in the movie... Ayyye-trocious.
Zoooooey Deschanel. (Sorry, can't help thinking her name spells a lot like that Google search thingy). If it weren't for those pretty blue eyes of hers, I'd say she was a wooden plank too. A wooden plank with pretty eyes. That settles it.
John Leguizamo. Sure, his part was smaller, I give him that. Still, I'm pretty sure Leguizamo means 'wooden plank' in some Philippino dialect.
An extra star for that scene where it rains construction workers, that was kind of neat. A creepy scene desperately in need of a better movie to fit in.