So bad it's uncomfortable

Rating: 1/10 (9 July 2008)

The first five minutes may be the most original and entertaining five minutes of any movie I've seen in a long, long time. Unfortunately the remaining 84 minutes may be the worst and most inane 84 minutes of any movie I've seen in a long, long time.
M. Night takes a riveting premise (people compelled to kill themselves) and then runs with the least promising concept possible. Out of all the possible causes for people killing themselves, he chooses....attack of the plants? The inherent problem is obvious: you can't fight back against plants. That means the entire second act literally consist of Wahlberg, Zooey, and girl first taking a train to get away, then riding in a car to get away, then walking through a field to get away. That requires a lot of scenes of people standing around saying things like "What now?" and "Which direction?" and "We need a break".
There's also a horrible routine of dispersing information through people standing in front of TV's watching the news. That may be okay in one scene, but when the entire plot of the movie is dispersed through these types of scenes, well, that's just lazy writing.
The real disaster for M. Night is the dialogue. It is cringe-inducing bad. It's so bad that I was embarrassed for Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel. This isn't the first time Night has had trouble with writing interesting dialogue. The Village anyone? (Along with giving up society, they must have also given up on contractions?) By the third act Night must have realized that he had written himself into a corner because he throws in everything but the kitchen sink. There's the shameless shooting of two kids who had been Marky Mark and Zooey's traveling companions. There's the needless visit with the crazy old woman who provides nothing for the story but some good old fashioned crazy talk, a spooky house, and a creepy doll.
And then of course there's the ending, which should now be dubbed the "Spielberg War of the Worlds" ending. Everything magically goes back to normal just in time for our characters to get home and find everything okay.
Night does at least stick to the internal logic because we relive the first five minutes in a European city. Of course, all that means is that the previous 85 minutes we were forced to sit through are now completely meaningless. Thanks Night! Six films in, the verdict on Night's career is in. Great Director? Yes. Awful Writer? Double yes. He's a talented filmmaker, but god his scripts are bad. An all-time classic surprise ending does not a good writer make.