The Happening is Definitely Not Happening

Rating: 1/10 (25 July 2008)

M. Night Shyamalan started with a great idea for this movie: Mother Nature taking revenge on mankind for abusing the planet. This could have been a truly amazing film. What this turned out to be is something that should have been left on the cutting room floor to be swept away and left to rot in a landfill. In terms of quality, this movie makes Manos: the Hands of Fate look like the Silence of the Lambs.
The movie starts out okay. Mark Wahlberg plays a quirky science professor. His class discussions suggest some foreshadowing and expertise behind future events; however, these expectations fall dreadfully short from being fulfilled. Actually, all expectations for this film are refuted. The storyline is bland and has no real plot. Early in the film, one event sets the wheels in motion for the rising action. That's pretty much where the movie plateaus. There is no driving force to carry you through to the end.
The dialogue is synthetic and clumsy. If I were facing a life-threatening, environmental crisis, I would be discussing things relevant to the events at-hand. These people had the most odd, insignificant things to say. It was absolutely ludicrous. Some scenes were so bizarre that all I could say was "WTF?"
The actors' performances were equally as hollow as the individuals they portrayed. The characters have no depth and offer no additional substance to this film; no glimpse into something that might ignite a plot twist, or, even more importantly, A PLOT. The general over-all feeling was as if everyone were fumbling their way through the script for the first time. Mark Wahlberg is typically a very good actor. In this movie, his acting seems forced and unnatural. The closest comparison I can think of is watching his reaction to someone repeatedly snapping a rubber band against his face. Zoey Deschanel's character seems oblivious and disinterested in the events surrounding her. John Leguizamo was slightly more convincing, but very awkward.
I thought the Fantastic Four sequel was awful, but this by far takes the golden turkey for the worst movie I have seen in the past year. I would rather chew on broken glass and gargle lemon juice than watch this again.
My rating: 1/10 Stars.