Woe is me

Rating: 1/10 (16 November 2014)

M Night Shyamalan started out with The Sixth Sense, a chilling and moving ghost story. Then he made Unbreakable, an excellent superhero movie which isn't really a superhero movie. Then he made Signs, which is a good movie despite the backlash. Then he made The Village, which was not good. He then made Lady In The Water, an apparently dire film I can't be bothered to watch. Then he made this....thing. A mysterious force is causing everyone to commit suicide. This is a scary premise, right? Sadly, it's done no justice. But the film is scary. It's absolutely terrifying. Audience will be so horrified they will watch through their fingers as Mark Wahlberg tries to convince us he's a science teacher and lectures a student on science, scary scenes consisting of wind rustling the trees unfold in the most laughably unscary way, people die in a way which just isn't scary and a guy randomly rambles on about hot dogs. I could go on and on, but there is a word limit.
Although Shyamalan still has a gift with cinematography, that can't save this. Mark Wahlberg gives one of the worst performances I have ever seen a film, and sends the cringe factor right up. Everyone else is atrocious. The villain of the film is revealed to be wait for it..... plants! Plants! Plants. Seriously? Mark even tries to talk to one at one point. The script is one of the worst I've heard all year, and there are literally no defences to it at all. Shyamalan flops as a director for the first time, although this film isn't quite as bad as The Last Airbender. With numerous bizarre and random scenes, as well as plenty of terrible scary moments that could be from a comedy some may find this funny but for me, while Mark's science lecture had me cracking up, it just became a bit depressing after a while to see Shyamalan waste his talent in such a way. What happened? I urge you not to watch this film. Just stay well away from this. Throughout the film, whatever the title and marketing tell you... nothing is happening.
1/10