If you have an urge to make your eyes bleed watch this!!!!

Rating: 1/10 (25 September 2008)

If I could have put -100 I would have. First M. Night Shala-whatever sucks as a screenwriter and a director. The back up for my statement is "Signs"! If you watched that movie and gave it a good rating you are everything that is wrong with America. The reason I ended up watching "The Happening" is because I was tricked usually movies by Mr. M. Night Shalamahisapatma is accompanied by much fanfare that he is the director. I didn't know that he directed this until it was too late and I was already well into the first half of the movie and spellbound by Marky Marky's superb Oscar winning performance.<--- (For those of you who don't know what sarcasm is please refer to the previous sentence.)Zooey Deschanel was only cast in this because of her large blue eyes and the fact that they look like they are bugging out of her head every five seconds. She couldn't believe what was happening! I also could not believe what was happening on the screen before my very own eyes. Some of the worst acting I have seen since "Point Break". Keanu has nothing on Mark Wahlberg! Can somebody explain why he is talking like he has a little too much sugar in his tank. That breathy whisper really turned my stomach but I digress. The plants are giving off toxic air and making people commit suicide. Let me tell you while watching this movie I was wishing that I was one of those trees blowing my poison in the air because everyone of those people deserved to die a horrible death. The only entertaining parts of this movie were all the creative ways these people found to kill themselves. That really tickled my funny bone! Also the portrayal of the American soldier as a hick well "Cheese and Crackers" that was spot on as most of them are. If only some of those trees could grow near my job and breath their beautiful life stealing toxin in the air so my idiot co-workers could do away with themselves but again I digress. The point of this little narrative is that M. Night Shalamahpoo is exactly that POO! Marky Mark should have stuck with his funky bunch and left acting to real people like Keanu Reeves and this only movie you will Zooey Deschanel in ever again.
The Happening just did not happen for me.