"It's an act of nature, it can never be explained"

Rating: 3/10 (18 June 2008)

...says Mark Wahlberg to his class in his role as the world's worst science teacher. If I ever heard a science teacher say that to a class, I'd feel duty-bound as someone trained in science to smack him in the chops.
I'll bet people in history have said the same thing about small pox, the Bubonic plague and Krakatoa - it didn't make it true, did it? M. Night's comically poor grasp of how science actually works is highlighted when Wahlberg's character, in a moment of high pressure, recites a version of the scientific method to himself to figure out a problem I'd sussed at least 30 minutes before - hint: if the experts on TV say there is a wind-borne toxin killing progressively smaller populations of humans, you better believe I'll be running far, far away from anyone else and sealing myself into an air-tight place to wait it out. There are other moments of unintentional comedy, too - the 'out-running the wind' scene comes to mind.
I have seen a review on-line which 'outs' The Happening as intelligent design propaganda - it had not occurred to me as I grumbled about it afterwards, but it certainly fits the thinking of this anti-evolution pseudo-science.
For the reason's above, the film lost me early on (and from the audience reactions, most of the other cinema-goers too, most of whom were students), and never threatened to win me back. There are some good moments - the building site scene sticks in mind, but with characters acting so stupidly and unnaturally, I couldn't empathise.
It's a shame, because I actually like Lady in the Water - Paul Giamatti had a large part to play for his wonderful performance; Mark Wahlberg (I still remember with pain his efforts as leading man in Planet of the Apes) and co. remained laboured and wooden throughout, and with a script like this, it would have been beyond the gifts of far more talented actors to make anything of it.