HUG A TREE, OR DIE!...

Rating: 2/10 (8 November 2018)

Marc Wahlberg is a school teacher trapped in, quite possibly, the most boring, nonsensical "apocalyptic" movie ever filmed. It seems that mother nature has had enough of the terrible human race, and has decided to gas us all w/ a mind-altering, suicide toxin! Now, this may sound interesting, and in the right hands, perhaps it would be. However, trust me, it ain't! After opening w/ a series of inexplicable suicides, it all falls apart. Instead of some sci-fi / horror adventure, what we get are groups of meandering over-actors, running from the wind (that's where the toxin is don'cha know?!). There's just not much tension, and certainly no horror in watching people running aimlessly through fields, trying to outguess a shifting breeze! Nor is there much to be thrilled about, in a movie where mankind's inferiority to peevish plant life is explored. It's as though someone had an interesting dream, and decided to start filming this immediately upon waking up, without working out any of the important details, i e: a coherent plot. Rarely has a bomb of this thudding magnitude been dropped on an audience! The fact that this was a "professional", Hollywood production only adds to the overall misery, since this means it was expensive as well! After THE SIXTH SENSE, I was convinced that M. Night Shyamalan was a brilliant, master of suspense. Even when his other movies tanked I waited for a comeback. Still waiting. THE HAPPENING is monumentally, brain-drubbing-ly awful...