A New Low for M. Night Shyamalan and His Actors

Rating: 2/10 (13 June 2008)

As I was watching "The Happening" today I keep wondering to myself: "Who keeps giving this guy money to make these horrible movies?" "Why didn't I keep my promise NEVER to go see another M. Night Shyamalan movie on opening day?" "How can anyone make a great actor like Mark Wahlberg look so foolish?" "Didn't anyone working on this film actually watch it?" Shyamalan must have paid his cast and crew a fortune to work on this monstrosity and simply told them up front that he doesn't care what they think, doesn't want to hear any opinions or suggestions and to just keep their mouths shut. After all, he's a great auteur, no? Because Shyamalan wrote, produced and directed this film, I can only assume what I saw today is exactly what he wanted to put on the screen. It is incredibly bad. Most first-year film school students could do a better job of writing dialog and structuring a plot. And someone needs to teach Shyamalan about exposition in a dramatic work. Having characters pop into frame to explain what's going on is NOT good story-telling. And letting them go one for minutes at a time as they explain who they are, how they got there, what they've seen and what they are planning to do next is just plain amateur in the worst way.
I can't even being to enumerate all of the things wrong with this film. But I'm not just being some film snob who expects high art from all of my cinematic experiences. I was in a theater in suburban Milwaukee on a Friday afternoon. It was about half full with people of all ages. I witnessed an elderly couple walk out after about 30 minutes. I heard snickers and moans from the back of the theater. And several times people laughed out loud - not because something amusing occurred on the screen, but because what the character just said or did was so outlandish that all you could do was laugh. Otherwise you would cry.
The premise of the film is not a bad one. It has an ecological overtone that could have been developed into an insightful and thoughtful story. But instead, it basically ends up that the trees and plants are mad at us and want us to kill ourselves. No twists, no intelligent revelations. And absolutely no explanation as to why some people were spared while others succumbed. Even the strangely animated psychotic scientist interviewed on TV at the end of the film fails go give us any sort of sensible or satisfying resolution.
When a movie is this bad, it's very difficult to write a review. Where do you start and what do you reference when everything deserves to be ripped apart? It's no wonder that Shyamalan and the distributor insisted everyone involved with the project be sworn to secrecy. It is now obvious to me that this had nothing to do with the plot or the unique "twist" we all expect a Shyamalan movie to have at the end. It was because there is nothing good to say about it and if an actor dared tell people to go see the movie his credibility would be in serious jeopardy. Again, I can only believe Wahlberg got paid more money than he could say "no" to - because he is too talented and too intelligent to get involved with this project otherwise.
I'll end my comments with the most memorable, out-of-place and gratuitous lines from the film. The three lead characters are desperate to get out of town and a local plant nursery owner and his wife offer to give them a ride. But first they have to stop by their house to pick up a few things and say goodbye to their plants. At this point, the nursery owner turns and say, "You like hot dogs? Hotdogs get a bad rap. They got a nice shape, are full of protein..." Of course this pays off a few minutes later when we see him eating a hot dog before heading off into a field where certain death awaits him and his group of travelers.
What? I want my money and 91 minutes back.