Worst. Movie. Of. The. Millennium...

Rating: 1/10 (16 June 2008)

This may contain a spoiler, but in all honesty, you don't even want to bother with this film.
After the last dismal outing from Shyamalan, "Lady In The Water", I honestly thought that he would pull out the stops for "The Happening", return to what he's good at, rather than be a jack of all trades. I wanted to love this film so much, its just such a cruel twist of fate why I even left the house to watch this film.
The build up to this was incredible, so much lying on this film and on Shyamalan's shoulders. In an interview somewhere on youtube.com - he exclusively said that "The Happening" was going to be his darkest, scariest and most paranoid film he has ever made. He wanted to take disturbing images and influences from what he thought was the scariest film of his generation, "The Exorcist", and utilise similar themes into "The Happening". What a crock of BS.
What Shyamalan gives us, is a half arsed, lazy script, with awful dialogue, and some of the worst acting I have EVER seen. Even the films story is crap. Deadly "suicidal" toxins released from plant life because they have had enough of human life polluting their atmosphere?? Give me a break Shya, even you couldn't come up with god awful plot like this, oh wait, you DID! Mark Wahlberg gives the worst performance in cinema history since Nicolas Cage decided to play dumb in "The Wicker Man" (and I actually think that the "Wicker Man" was better - thats how bad this film is). The supporting cast are just as bad, and there are so many moments of cheese. The worst is probably the scene where Wahlberg and the gang stumble across a desolate looking house, and he starts singing to the inhabitants inside. Then a slow mo coincides with a young lad getting his head blown to bits with a shotgun: "Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
How god damn lame. The one thing in this film that makes it have at least ONE star out of 10, is the fact that Betty Buckley, who plays the creepy Mrs. Jones, actually makes you feel abit uncomfortable for the duration of the film she is in. So thats 15 minutes or so. In fact - if she had been the problem of this film - IE: the source of the "happening", then I would have actually liked this movies outcome. But she just becomes another victim.
My mate sitting next to me kept saying "I wonder what the twist will be?" To which my response was something like, "The twist is that the cinema screen will break down because this is so bad." Or words to that extent anyway. My other best mate kept looking at his watch before the halfway mark as he had lost interest completely.
Shyamalan - I've lost hope in you now. Maybe you were a one hit wonder after all. People giving this film generous votes (IE: anything above 2 stars) - really need to watch this film again - because I want to see your facial expression as you walk out of the cinema, knowing that you really have witnessed, possibly, one of the worst films of the new millennium.