WHAT'S HAPPENING?

Rating: 1/10 (5 April 2019)

This movie stinks. Oh boy does it stink. Shamalamadingdong can't write self-aware dialogue to save his life. Nobody in this movie cares, especially not Zooey Deschanel. She looks more bored and disaffected throughout the entire movie than I was, and that's saying something. At least Mark Wahlberg was bad enough I could get a few laughs out of his performance. The ending is really dumb.
Throughout the movie, the characters go through this progression: "It's the plants that are killing everyone. What? That's crazy. No really, it's the plants. Hmm, maybe it's the plants. The deaths seem to follow such and such rules. Oh nevermind, none of the rules matter. WHY CAN'T ANYONE GIVE ME A SECOND TO THINK?? Oh yeah, remember when I was a teacher at the start? Let's bring that back up. Also, watching two children get shot to death made me realize how much I love you. Now let's all commit suicide. Oh, nevermind lol it's cool. Or is it??" It's preachy and dumb. I don't like it. It's dumb. M Night Shymalan is dumb. The music is good though.