Worst. Movie. Ever.

Rating: 1/10 (27 April 2015)

This movie's so bad, you'll be thinking that Mark Wahlberg should've just stuck with rapping. I can't even describe how terrible this movie is. If you're sifting through reviews to find a reason to watch it, don't. It's normal for a film to have cynics and skeptics, but in this case every criticism is well earned. The acting? Nope. The plot? No. And the dialogue? Hell no.
This movie has absolutely no continuity whatsoever and the pacing is so bad that you'll have at least a dozen moments where you just sit and think "Maybe they made this movie this bad on purpose. Like, to end up in the Hall-of-Fame for worst movies of all-time or something". Because, trust me -- it's absolutely that bad!
I literally don't understand how this movie could make it from production to premiere without a wall of people protesting it for its awfulness. I wish I could grade this film with dookies instead of stars, because even giving it the lowest slotted amount of stars (1) feels wrong. I'd feel much better giving this film one giant dookie...Or ten. Or 50,000. I'm not even sure at this point, that's how bamboozled I am by this horrible movie.
I didn't even think it was worth a review until I realized I may be the difference between someone watching and not watching and so I feel it's my civic duty to not let that happen. Save your two hours and go watch paint dry. You'll be thankful you did.