The Crappening.

Rating: 2/10 (14 October 2008)

This movie lost eight of my stars in a hurry. And, here's why...
1 Casting
Ohhh kay...We have Mark Wahlberg and John Lequizamo. Two decent, "middle of the road" actors. But, both are almost completely impossible for me to take seriously. So, any attempt to build suspense is horribly marred.
2. The expendable friend cliché.
This one is worth two stars. I hate this cliché more than most. And, this movie is a textbook example of it. You'd have to not be paying attention at all (which is highly plausible in this case) to not know that John Lequizamo was dead meat at the very minute that his wife didn't show up for the train. But, it was pretty much spelled out on the screen when he suddenly abandons his kid (good move, btw) to climb into a jeep full of extras in order to find his (obviously dead) wife. I'm tired of this, "you go on, I'll just gonna go do something and catch up with you, later" crap. We all know where it leads...
3. Poorly written dialog
Horrible. Lequizamo is ridiculous as the "fretful parent/husband" And, the whole "odd couple" thing between Mahlberg and Zooey Deschannel (who actually is somewhat talented) fails miserably on every level. And, since that these three were the only ones with any real lines, this is all that you see throughout the entire show.
4. Lack of character Development
None at all, actually. Static all the way. People...running...
5. What plot?
Ummm...yeah. The plants have become completely toxic, and are releasing airborne substances which make people kill themselves in grizzly, and sometimes elaborate ways. And? Yep, that as far as that device goes. The plants, the insanity, the death. No development there, either. And, I won't even get into this movie's total ignorance to plant biology. It just isn't plausible. Even in a disaster movie
6. Cop out ending
Yes, just like Mark Wahlberg said at the the beginning. "An act of nature that we don't understand" Or, something like that. That's great! Because, when I watch movies about mysterious, yet socially relevant ecological disasters, I like to leave with absolutely no closure, whatsoever! This is worth another two stars Bite me, Shyalaman!
Otherwise, this movie had an interesting concept for a "natural disaster\end of civilization" sort of story. And, I really was interested to see what was actually killing people off. But, I guess that I'll never know.