Does Not Happen

Rating: 1/10 (1 November 2008)

An invisible force is causing a breakdown of human behavior in the NE United States. People become disoriented and die. What is going on?
Remember the old expression, "there's something in the wind"? Well, someone who is not too creative decided to make a movie out of it. As a short story it would have been fine, read and forgotten, but now we have to contend with a truly boring movie with a Class A star (Wahlberg) to boot. Mark, what were you thinking? Go back to police dramas.
Ah, but there is an explanation and it is simply that a force of nature is causing all this and no one can figure out why. Normally, I wouldn't give the answer away, but no one should have to sit through this Snoozer with halting dialogue and absolutely no suspense. Ah, suspense could have made this worthwhile. Can't believe I just said that.
It's just not that the main story is unclear, it is also that the characters don't seem to know their lines and they seem not to even know their relationship with each other and we, in the audience, don't know either. Can't even come close.
Already, I have taken up too much of your time with this NON-HAPPENING event. Yes, there is something in the wind: a bad movie.
Violence: Yes. Sex: No. Nudity: No. Language: No.