The Hangover III: Charmless and Humorless

Rating: Null/10 (27 May 2013)

This film is not recommended.
I don't know at what point I began to truly dislike The Hangover Part III. There were so many opportunities before the film descended into an incoherent mess. Was it when the giraffe was decapitated? When a rooster was slowly smothered to death in the misguided name of comedy? Was it when Ken Jeong's annoying character, Mr. Chow, entered the film and was neither decapitated or killed?
Who knows, but I can tell you this: The film's 100 minute length seems interminable, devoid of any humor or merit. Its sole purpose of existence is making a buck or two million from its undiscriminating fan base who lap up this cinematic swill. The film's disclaimer states that no animals were hurt in the filming of this movie, but the movie-going audience does suffer and needs to be put out of its misery...fast.
The filmmakers take their successful formula and rarely stray from that premise. The formula of vulgar jokes and inane debauchery again follows the mishaps of three closely knit child- men, four, if you count Doug (Justin Bartha) who usually is MIA during most of the film. (Mr. Bartha needs to thank his agent for his lack of screen time here.) The boys, Stu and Phil (Ed Helms and Bradley Cooper, disrespectfully), are united once again to bring Alan (Zach Galifianakis) to rehab. Along the way to Arizona, they encounter a mobster (John Goodman) and are sent on a mission to retrieve some stolen gold and the aforementioned Mr. Chow, landing them back in Sin City, NV.
Mixing the Hope / Crosby 40's road movie format and the Three Stooges slapstick antics, and adding more than a dash of gross-out sophomoric humor and ribald sexual comedy, The Hangover Part III lacks any originality or clever moments. (Even the Wolfpack trio, as they are called, too closely resemble Moe (Cooper), Larry (Helms), and Curly (Galifianakis) in their character hierarchy.) There's nothing new here. The film rehashes itself in a desperate attempt to appear to be hip and cool, but the results are merely contrived and dull.
Misdirected by Todd Phillips and poorly written by him and Craig Mazin, The Hangover Part III is sloppy drunk in its execution. There are no funny lines and hilarious situations, just tired and lazy writing. The sight gags don't work. The decision to give the obnoxious Mr. Chow almost equal screen time as the three lead characters was a major misfire. All of the actors, who have proved to be fine actors in other films, are certainly slumming here. I guess the cast's ability not to look remotely embarrassed spouting off the film's lame dialog and non-zingers does amount to the lowest possible form of acting, but it's such a waste of assembled talent for this movie, although only Galifianakis gives his character some nuance.
This series so proudly wears its gross-out comedy status on its sleeve. While the first installment had some genuine laughs, the second entry had few and was a major disappointment, even with its pot-smoking, penis-nibbling monkey. This third (and supposedly) final chapter is laugh-less and lifeless. What happened in Vegas should have stayed in Vegas, or never have even begun. The Hangover Part III is truly awful. GRADE: D
ANY COMMENTS: Please contact me at: jadepietro@rcn.com
NOTE: There is an extra segment in the end credits that does produce a grin or two. I hope it doesn't mean there is another sequel in the future. Count me out.