Old Ugly Cash-Cow stupid Stupid STUPID STUPID

Rating: 2/10 (21 July 2009)

Wow. I was completely shocked. Let me start by saying that reviews for this have perhaps been...fantasies. Complete fabrication. To see this movie and enjoy it you must do two things: A. Be between the ages of 9 and 14. and B. Watch "Dude Where's My Car?" instead. The Hangover is overstuffed with Hollywood comedy convention to the point where I'm sure it will make a couple crafty movie executives a whole lot of money. I swear I have seen every scene in this movie in different movies(different in that they are funny). If you think you're smart, and you want to get a big cheap ego-boost from guessing everything that's about to happen in a movie, by all means have a ball. But I WANTED to enjoy this. I took my mother to this movie on her birthday. Sure, she loves a good blow-job joke. But she can't even look me in the eyes after I actually paid for this.
I was laughing here and there (at Zach Galafianakis, without whom I would have stabbed someone). The actors were doing funny things, sure, but those were mercilessly edited into absolute garbage-pile stink-machine nothing. I LIKED Old School. I Loved Superbad. I like a lot of popular Hollywood movies. I'm not a snob, even if I sound like one. I am just so full of FURY that there are real people in my hometown who will applaud when something like this occurs in front of their eyes. I hope I'm not being too critical. (I'm not)