King's patented "Two-dimensional Character" development

Rating: 4/10 (1 July 2000)

I've got to say that I'd hoped to like this movie. And, to be honest, the acting and look of the film is top-notch. The huge weak link in the entire production is the story. And for me that's the entire movie.
After all, I bear a strong resemblance to Stephen King (Really! Pity me). I'd like to be able to be mistakenly associated with someone I could be proud of. Sadly, I do not admire King's character development. I have a problem with his "good vs. evil" running commentary. I appreciate more depth in literary figures than Stephen King is capable of delivering.
I could give several examples of flaws throughout this film. Why did no one expose Mr. Coffey's ability? Why did the evil "Wild Bill" remain quite in key scenes like the pre-execution turned awry? How could a prison official in the 1930's let a black convicted murderer enter his wife's room and watch as the killer placed his lips on that of the warden's ailing spouse?
Too bad the project wasn't handled by Touchstone Pictures. Maybe then we'd see more parallels being drawn between Mister Jingles and Mickey Mouse. Mouseville in Florida? Puts me in the mind of Goofy.
While having pure characters with contrasts as obvious as "black and white" (no play on words intended) make easy paint-by-numbers storytelling, it doesn't satify completely. Hell, I thought old Del (the Cajun convict) was friggin' innocent!!! And who except Satan-worshipping parents would name their child "Percy Wetmore"?! Christ, did they WANT kids to constantly kick the crap out of him as he grew up?! By the end, I couldn't believe a word of this story.
Stephen King needs to learn to start mixing his paints. His storytelling reeks of a child's ability to use crayons and a coloring book. He always uses solid colors and stays within the lines. Black mixed with white makes gray, Stephen! People in the real world are gray! There are no absolutes!!! Start writing for a sophisticated audience and not like a two-bit hack cranking out Depression-era movie serial westerns! The Fred Astaire movie "Top Hat" had more basis in the real world than this shell of a story.