Walt Disney Presents Cinderella On The Golf Course

Rating: 4/10 (29 March 2017)

Barely adequate sports saga set in 1913 America, with a plucky French Canadian immigrant Kid (Shia LeBouef) up against Stephen Dillane as polished English champion Harry Vardon. (A true English gentleman who is haunted by ghosts in top hats telling him he's not well born enough to be a golf champ. Yes, it's as dumb as it sounds.)
There's a number of elements to this movie, and none of them work together all that well. The period clothes and settings don't really establish a mood, because all the actors talk and act in a breezy, modern, 21st century style. The dirt poor hero has a rich girl who falls for him at first sight, and Peyton List plays this Victorian beauty with a million dollar smile, tons of sex appeal, and all the modesty and decorum of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model prancing across a beach in her bikini. (Not that I'm complaining!)
Veteran character actor Elias Koteas plays Ouimet senior, the bitter, hard bitten French Canadian dad who insists his son will never amount to anything. The writing here is so overdone it's like something out of WALK HARD: THE DEWEY COX STORY. ("Ze wrong kid died! Ze wrong kid died!") The irony is that the bitter father is the most believable, period authentic character in the story, and the actor playing him practically steals the movie. You keep feeling like the story is going to turn into FENCES, but of course Disney can't have an American tragedy breaking out in the middle of a feel good sports story. So the unhappy father comes around in the last reel -- and if you think that's a spoiler, you haven't seen many sports movies.
Oh, and the comic relief is a fat, annoying, bratty kid who sounds about as 1913 as Eric Cartman.
"Screw you guys, I'm going home!"