A movement of the bowels

Rating: 1/10 (30 March 2014)

POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD: Based on a preview trailer my wife and I saw at a theater recently, and based on reviews and other small things we'd seen in the interim, both of us went to the theater yesterday to see "The Grand Budapest Hotel" (2014). Evidently, it is so popular it is showing in three different parts of the theater we attended! Well, within five minutes - I literally mean five minutes - of the beginning, the 'humor' had dropped to a sophomoric level. Within ten minutes the attempt had dropped to freshman level. By fifteen minutes of the show, the scene had shifted from the Grand Budapest Hotel to another place and I was beginning to wonder where this - this thing - was going. We were now at an eighth grade level, and all was looking as if it were going to skip a few grades - downward - in the very near future. By an hour into this - thing - I was looking how many people I needed to crawl in front of to leave, and I realized it was far too many. Willm Dafoe had turned into a Hannibal Lecter-like nasty without the hunger pangs, just sadistic beyond three-year-old anger fits. Ralph Fiennes' lines had become so cynical - and this was supposed to be funny! - that the humor level had dropped to near unborn - it was far below Kindergarten. Although it is a delicacy in Tuscany, kid veal is illegal in the United States where veal needs to be at least two and a half years of age. Humor should be the same way. Unborn humor should be illegal here, too. I know of no place where it is a delicacy, however. By the time the hour and forty minutes of the film had passed, we both realized that we had witnessed no movement of the stars: rather, the show was more a movement of the bowels. We realized that the characters were possibly not as dysfunctional as the writers themselves had been. We also realized that the film was a function of Dis. Hell hath mo' fury when a man is horned. All's hell that ends in hell. We'd been there, and now we could finally leave and go get a pizza. I wasn't necessarily hungry, but I ate voraciously if only to forget...