Anderson Needs a New Recipe

Rating: 3/10 (25 December 2015)

So, I've been meaning to watch TGBH for a while now, and finally got around to it. I knew it would be visually appealing and figured there would be some good chuckles as well. However, I didn't find anything worth laughing at, nor even chuckling at. It seems Anderson just phoned this one in and relied on his name for the accolades and praise he received from his army of pretentious and elitist sycophants. I think he really needs to learn what this means: A little can go a long way. He could have reduced the dialog by half and nothing critical would have been missed. And the vulgar language could have been omitted altogether without losing anything. Swearing just for the sake of swearing isn't "edgy". Its embarrassing. The one scene (and I'm sure there are many more if I really reflect upon it) that went beyond verbose with its ridiculous dialog was when Fiennes was berating the bell boy just after the prison escape. That exchange/rant went on for like two or three minutes and was just stupid. I mean, garbage like that - did Anderson really believe that when Fiennes apologizes afterwards in the manner that he did, that the audience is meant to find that funny? Got news for ya Wes - it wasn't. Something tells me Anderson has surrounded himself with a bunch of "yes men" who will tell the emperor how fantastic everything is. And at this point I'm sure Anderson now believes all the bull blown up his behind and has an ego to rival any top professional athlete's. Now, I understand that directors have a pool of actors that they like working with, and vice versa. However, it really is time for Wes to consider other actors. Does Owen Wilson, Bill Murray, Schwartzman, Goldblum, have to be in every one of his movies??? And especially Schwartzman! That guy really rubs me the wrong way and I do not find him funny nor charming in the least. How he's able to sustain a career as an actor should be one of the modern day wonders of the world. But I digress, back to Anderson and his battalion of actors - its like he's got a checklist going and every time he cameos one of his "regulars", he marks it off. Wes, for the love of God, get some new blood in there. And as for his legions of brown-nosers and their "Anderson is God / Can do no wrong" devotion - look up the phrase "Self- fulfilling Prophecy". None of these pretentious blow hards would ever admit, under threat of torture, that they just wasted 2 hours and $10 on this movie. All I know is that I'm certainly glad that I didn't blow $10 or more watching this in a theater. And I'm sure the art/coffee house types will dismiss me as being a cretin who doesn't "get it" when it comes to this movie. However I'm sure that deep down they really know that this was sub-par at best.