Nightvision flatters NO ONE. Sailawaysailawaysailaway.

Rating: 2/10 (31 January 2020)

I tolerate Rob Zombie, love Lynch and John Waters films, yet I despise "TGWTDT". Give me "Faces of Death" or "Fear Factor" ALL DAY over this. I sat the book down halfway thru because it was so tedious. The movie's like that, but it's punctuated with stomach churning moments. It's so boring you'd be almost in a trance and then, BAM! explicit r*pe scenes I wish I could purge from my memory. Then, as you're easing into another light doze, BANG! A vile obese man is sodomiz*ed! This thing is filled to the brim with hideous people (except for Daniel Craig, probably still getting Hep and TB tests monthly). All clacking pelvises or someone who's the color of a fish's belly. I wish Marilyn or Clark Gable could see the cast, "you PAY to see starving homeless people pretend to be r*ped? My gawd!" I can hear Clark say. I DO love Fincher, but this was a lot of hype just to leave the theatre feeling molested and queasy. I go to the movies to escape the ugly world, or i go to face it, but not to be physically disgusted. And it has EVERYTHING disgusting except for people sucking on used tampons. A alien anorexic r*pe victim and an obese predator social worker. A shut-in who I mistook for a time traveler because of his NIN t-shirt. The cherry on top of this eurotrash heap? A psycho who kills to a soundtrack by Enya! And it's still as dry as a reading from the encyclopedia! The photography, composition, and score are the saving graces, but I would still rather watch a YouTuber eat a bucket of maggots. We skipped dinner after this film mercifully came to its ambiguous and underwhelming conclusion. Our s*x life took two weeks to recover also (Sail away, sail away, sail away). I would rather watch "Pink Flamingos" on repeat (Or surgery videos, or terrorist propaganda films) than sit through this film even once more. You get the picture. THIS film as a whole? Technically beautiful settings and cinematography spoiled by boring and unappealing characters delivering dry dialogue making for a tedious gag-a-thon.