What a jip...the story, characters, and altogether movie experience

Rating: 1/10 (26 January 2012)

Blabber about the Swedish versus US version, standing in line, all that hype. I manage to squeeze myself and my girlfriend in one of the smaller theaters in the city, as the large ones have been under assault since the beginning of the phenomenon. Movie starts, they start speaking English with a reverential accent toward the European and Nordic chef d'oeuvre. The enumeration of Swedish cities starts, just to state that this is not an attempt to dampen the color and depth of the original masterpiece. We meet the male lead David, who just got his arse handed over from Goliath. Needs to get away from the hassle. Lick the wounds. No cliché there. I notice a wall light is not working along the narrow hall way in the theater. Pretentious introductions of the very special family follow. Just like in a wrestling event we are being introduced with all the participants and prepared just for how twisted and awful they are. Then more stalling. More landscape. This is where I first look around and notice the led lights around the steps. I start finding them fascinating. I'm thinking about going out to smoke a cigarette. I remember, I don't smoke. DAMN!
No doubt the light must affect the psyché of people in a Nordic country, I'm thinking. Let's see the monsters now. There's the rapist, but most importantly the only character in this story who ever outsmarts punky girl in a supposedly smart thriller, because from now on it's mission impossible for her. She turns into bike-hacker extraordinaire. Back to the storyline. More landscape and sterile interior design. The end.
Just kidding, I purposely left the most important aspect for last. The cat and mouse game with the killa. There's a cat in the movie, does that count? No mouse. No game. The killa...what's special about him? The actor is actually Swedish. Hmm, just another layer to the story, better said trivia section. I remember I forgot to buy a bottle of wine for this evening. DAMN!
Next: Punky beats Goliath Jane Bond style, THE END. Or is it? I remember, it's a trilogy, DAMN!
You think my comment was long? Try watching the movie. You'll wish you were in attendance at an insurance seminar. At least there you would have a window to look out of.