Sex is funny... I suppose

Rating: 2/10 (2 July 2006)

I think that's what this movie was implying, but I'm not quite sure. Why? It might have something to do with the fact that this quote-unquote film was utterly lacking in anything that makes a good movie. Characters we care about? Nah. A plot that engrossed me and brought me into the world of the characters? Nope. Anything remotely funny? Nada. Zip, zero, zilch.
On the other hand, it does have nudity. I'll give it that. And it can keep it, as far as I'm concerned.
The Girl Next Door details the misadventures of a high school senior when he discovers that his new next-door neighbor was once... a porn star! Gasp! The horror! The kid tries to hook up with her, and his goofy friends tag along, and she brings some of her porno pals, yadda yadda yadda. The "yadda yadda yadda" is in there because once you understand the basic outline of this flick, you won't need to watch it. You'll know what's going to happen. You know there'll be comical sexual misunderstandings, that the geeky friends are going to try and get laid, and that an evil guy from her past is trying to get her back into the "business".
Unless you like jokes about sex, body parts, and other wonderful things that make teenagers go "Awesome," you'll probably enjoy this movie. I thought this film would be sorta like "There's Something About Mary", and I was right. Well, if "TSaM" was full of high school students, a latent lack of anything funny, and lots and lots of nudity. 'Cause everyone loves nudity... I think.