Not what I expected

Rating: 1/10 (22 July 2006)

This was one of the worst movies I have ever had the displeasure of watching. It looked like your average t&a movie from the trailer I had seen, but my friend convinced me to go because she said it was like a modern day "Fast Times at Ridgemont High." As if it were one thousandth as good as Fast Times! From beginning to end, this movie is ridiculous. The kid is a total geek, and it's completely unbelievable that a hottie ex-porn queen would even spend three minutes in his puppydog slobbering presence. When her sleazy agent (or is it pimp?????) or whatever he is (it's not fully explained), the story takes an even sillier turn, as it is up to the Geek Next Door to save her from going back into the porn industry. This spells a road trip for him and his dork buddy-but they forget they are in Connecticut and somehow end up driving to Vegas in time to make it to school the next day. More asinine capers ensue, none of which are fully explained and insult the viewers' intelligence.
The movie is amateurishly filmed and a waste of Elisha Cuthbert's talent. As viewers of 24 know, she's more than just a pretty face-but this movie objectifies her. The script seems as if it were written by a horny 14 year old who fantasizes about the women he looks at in his porno mags and internet sites. A major waste of celluloid trash.