Poor plot, poor material, no laughs, forced titillation for boys and a crude air produce a film that will have almost no appeal outside of the male teen market

Rating: Null/10 (23 August 2004)

Matthew Kidman is a geek; school president, hangs out with other nerds and generally doesn't have any luck with the popular guys or the girls. He can't believe his luck when a gorgeous girl moves in next door and seems happy to hang out with him. His illusions are shattered when he learns that she is a porn star and, unsure of how to act, he ruins things between them. But both seem reluctant to truly break it off but can they work through their differences.
Even though I like to think that I have good taste in films, I did see the trailer and thought 'hmmm, could be sexy and funny' and decided to give it a go on DVD. However if I'd known that it would really be neither then perhaps I wouldn't have bothered. The plot is pretty simplistic and is really the ultimate teenage boy fantasy, but it is this at the expense of the issues that could have been put into the film. Porn is a complex and nasty business and those involved in it can easily have difficult relationship and lives, however this film doesn't do anything with this aspect of the plot (apart from Matty wanting Danielle out of the business). The lowest point was a throwaway line that one of the porn stars had lost her virginity at age 10. Sorry, but the implication that a woman got into the sex industry of the back of sexual abuse as a child (and all that brings mentally and emotionally) is not a joking matter and I was stunned that nobody had the good taste to remove this line. Of course this is a comedy so I wouldn't expect it to do this because it would take away from the laughs but, with this film, the writers have already taken the laughs away and replaced with crude material and ineffective titillation.
For teenage boys then I can imagine this mix will work but for me it just didn't tickle me at all. There were no real jokes here and, instead, there are just jocular references to porn mixed with scenes of 'hot girls', semi-nudity and the inevitable (and increasingly boring) girl/girl kissing. I had hoped that it would have a fun sexy air to it but it really didn't, instead it was ground in crudity and the obvious sexuality of porn. Of course some of it was still quite sexy but generally it was for teenagers more than anything else. Sadly this also took priority over the material and as a result the actual romance is flat and unconvincing  we are meant to buy Danielle changing her life for Matt but their relationship is so thin as to not exist  and playful flirting at the start just doesn't didn't do it for me.
Like many others, part for my motivation for seeing this film was 24's Elisha Cuthbert, but I felt a bit bad for her as I thought she was basically exploited. With very little in the way of material to work with she is reduced to spending most of the first half of the film just being, well, sexy! At times she seems to be trying to bring out emotions and conflicts in her character and I thought 'she's got something here' but she was let down by a script that was more interested in where the next half-naked girl was coming from as opposed to the inner workings of the characters. Hirsch is likable but just to wishy washy for my liking, but again the plot gives him little to work with. The two characters that the film does have fun with are Kelly and Eli and the two actors both have fun as a result. Olyphant is fun but it is Marquette that steals all his scenes  admittedly he has little competition but still. He is lively and funny and the extras on the DVD's are best when he is in character at the Adult Film conference. Dano is OK but is an easy geek, while the rest of the cast just plays jocks etc. Remar makes a brief appearance surrounded by lovely ladies and there are plenty of them  something that will keep the teenage boys happy  but the rest of us will probably wonder why we didn't just watch porn!
Overall this is a pretty poor film but it has just about enough energy to be watchable in you are in a very undemanding mood. There are no actual laughs to be had and the rest of the film just tries to keep providing titillation every few minutes to cover the total lack of material. The characters are flat, the relationships pathetically drawn and I had stopped caring about the story long before the end. I wouldn't watch it again and I would not recommend it to anyone over the age of 15 or female.