Incoherent piece of self-indulgent trash!

Rating: 1/10 (19 May 2007)

This atrocious waste of money and time is not, I repeat, is NOT science fiction, as some people have erroneously claimed. It is rambling, silly garbage about a cancer-stricken woman's bad novel, which seems to be an unwholesome combination of a Doc Savage yarn and some emo kid's self-indulgent blog. And yes there CAN and be artful ambiguities in a novel or movie, and no, not everything has to be explained -- but there has to be at least some grand narrative link that binds all together. And this film lacks that in spades! Oh, but I suppose the "meta-narrative" is simply a pagan idol worshiped by pre-postmodern cavemen. . .
Admittedly, the film has a few visually interesting segments (i.e., the conflict with the Mayans at the film's beginning and the nifty space bubble scenes) but they are flung about without any context. In between, there are tons of artless, grey, slow-talking', mind-bogglingly mundane scenes that beat you over the head repeatedly with some of the most ridiculous bathos you've ever seen.
Just when you think this trash couldn't get any worse, the resolution totally destroys and then reconstructs your conception of trite and uninspired imagery. Oh wow, look! The ?book-version? of the dude is doing the lotus, so you know he's got it now! Enlightenment is on its way! Then: Yes, yes. . . all things MUST return to nature; did you not know that, foolish viewer? Man, the dude who made this thing sure has a withered notion of the numinous. I'll bet the joker has never read a single decent book in his life! In short, I am really disappointed to see so many people lauding this thing. If the director of this lousy film is the "next Kubrick," then German crap-artist Uwe Boll is the second coming of Fritz Lang. English-language cinema is far more troubled than I ever imagined. And on another note, I am really distressed to see this film praised as "a shining example of what science fiction can be." What an insult to such a wonderful genre! You want good science fiction? Read William Gibson, Jack Vance, Philip Dick, Arthur C. Clark, Robert Heinlein, Ursula K. Leguin, A. E. Van Vogt or countless other great authors! Watch "Ghost in the Shell," "Blade Runner," or "2001: A Space Odyssey" (but there really aren't very many good Sci-Fi movies, truth be told)! Then you shall see how truly anemic and limp this smarmy lump of self-fellating offal really is!