What The Heck!?

Rating: Null/10 (11 March 2008)

Friends,
About thirty years ago Saturday Night Live had a semi-reoccurring skit where Dan Aykroyd would host bad theater scenes under a character name Leonard Pith Garnell. They were intentionally rambling, oddball scenes that made no sense. After each scene Aykroyd would remove his glasses, stare into the camera, and in a phony British accent profoundly declare, "Really bad theater. Truly awful." As I watched The Fountain, I was reminded of those Saturday Night Live bits. Only there was no Leonard Pith Garnell, the movie lasted longer than a two minute skit, and I actually paid money to see the film.
I had no idea what was going on in the movie. Hugh Jackman would appear as some kind of Midevil knight, then a moment later, show up as bald as a cheap cueball, then a few minutes later, morph into a contemporary character with a modern-day hairstyle. No clue. Not the foggiest. Fortunately a near total lack of character development was made painless by an indecipherable plot.
It is kind of a novel experience seeing Hugh Jackman eat tree bark, but it's not worth the DVD rental price.