I'm just glad this movie wasn't more than 90 mins long...

Rating: 1/10 (20 May 2007)

Let me preface this by stating that I have NEVER posted a movie review on here, and rarely do I rate a movie. I've been using IMDb for years now, and this is the first time I had the will to write a review.
This was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. That's not to say that the story was not interesting, or that it didn't have great potential. However, it felt as though the movie was a short indie film that expanded itself into a series of montages that were so drab that I wanted to hang myself. I did enjoy parts of the "conquistador" storyline, but other than those 10 minutes, I spent the rest of the time, as did the other 4 movie buffs who watched it with me, in disbelief that projects like this get funded. However, it makes some sense since this project was delayed/scrapped at least one time (7 years ago). I was even more surprised by the comments and ratings this drivel received on here. I've come to the conclusion that people who enjoy movies like these enjoy them strictly because A) They make you "think" (which granted, is a good thing, but I much prefer PBS, books, and the news for that type of programming  also, this movie gets tagged as being "intellectual", but I'm having a hard time figuring out how the retelling of different ancient creation myths makes this film "smart"), and B) it's "cool" to like artsy garbage with little to no substance. In essence, this film had Memento's brilliance of story going for it, but Battlefield Earth's outcome. Wait, I gave Battlefield Earth a 2 star rating out of 10. I regress.
I had all the intentions in the world to write a nice long rant regarding why I disliked this film, with specific references, but I have just realized that I would lose more of my time with this horrible and egocentric "masterpiece".
Unless you enjoy pretentious existential story lines and film-making, please avoid this thing like the plague. If you're looking for a "love story" in the general sense of the term (which I knew it was not), avoid, avoid, avoid. If you like artsy movies that tell a 15 mins story in 90 mins, this is the movie for you.
Now you can all attack me for not having the "class" to enjoy this film, whatever that means.
1 out of 10  would have received a 0 but I liked the cast.