The Beautiful Game? Do me a lemon!

Rating: 7/10 (17 May 2007)

I'm ashamed to say that I found The Football Factory to be perversely enjoyable, despite the fact that it depicts England's worst ever contribution to world culture - Football hooliganism.
The film follows a group of Chelsea fans who for some strange and as yet unexplained reason, take sadistic glee by going around and beating seven bells of s*** out of rival football supporters just for jollies. Personally I like to watch the football, munch a steak pie (or two) at half time, neck a few (or more) beers and then sod off home.
Football hooliganism was the cancer of Britain's inner cities throughout the 1980's, and was solely responsible for the total expulsion of ALL English football clubs from European competition for a number of seasons. In fact, I froth with rabid anger even today when I think of Coventry City's historic FA cup win in 1987, which would of allowed us, (and for the FIRST time may I add), to participate in the following season's 'Cup Winner's Cup' tournament, HAD WE NOT BEEN BANNED FROM IT! As the 80's gave way to the 90's, hooliganism started to decline and English teams were allowed back onto the European stage. However, the new millennium has seen a new dawn in football related violence and sadly, the cancer we all thought was in remission is back, and it is this re-emergence, that The Football Factory uncompromisingly addresses.
Sadly, there are too many British film directors today, who are happy to churn out movies that contain a severe pornography of violence, drug abuse and potty mouthed profanity. The Football Factory has all three in very large and very obscene portions. It's violence is unparallelled, it contains more white powder than a talc factory and MUST hold the record for the amount of C word's used in a fictional motion picture, and I'm not referring to the word CHELSEA if you know what I mean.
Director Nick Love rekindles his love affair with urban London, ala 'Goodbye Charlie Bright' and entices a fantastic and believable performance out of Danny Dyer, because those of us who actually come from British Inner Cities will ALL know, or have known, a Tommy Johnson at one time or another. However, the accolade for best performance is reserved for Frank Harper as the psychotic Billy Bright. I thought Harper was absolutely fantastic as Michael Caine's tough bodyguard Stoney in 'Shiner', but his performance as Billy Bright makes Stoney look like a ladies hairdresser in comparison, to the point that if I saw Billy Bright walking down the street I would literally s*** myself.
Is it one for the family?, definitely not. Does it glorify Football violence?, maybe. Is it a great movie?, abso-bloody-lutely.
However, One day I would love to see one of these gritty urban movies made somewhere other than London, as I am now convinced that most British filmmakers think that there is nothing north of Watford Gap.
Enjoy.