Abysmal.

Rating: Null/10 (23 February 2003)

I watched this film with unforgivably high expectations, but by the end I felt nothing more than.well, sheer embarrassment.
First off, the plot was one great big dreadful cliché with an inexcusable amount of holes. And all that business of 'love conquering all' was weak, flimsy and sickening.
Secondly the, mise-en-scene was atrocious, in particular the costume and setting. The visuals seem to have been directly stolen from Blade Runner, albeit very badly and losing the dark, gritty essence of Ridley Scott's vision. I mean, Jean-Paul Gaultier? For Pete's sake! The barrage of colour on-screen was just plain sickening, at best an eyesore. And those awful and wholly unconvincing aliens; were they on lease from the Dr. Who studio or what? In its favour, I have to say some of the exterior settings were executed fairly well, but still very much over the top and ultimately a cheap Blade Runner pastiche.
The acting was also unforgivable, Bruce Willis being the best there, which says a lot for the quality of the supporting cast. Gary Oldman, typically a decent performer, was criminally miscast, the British actors were absolutely terrible and very much out of place, and Chris Tucker.well the less said about that clown the better. It appears he has the unique ability of ruining even the most ghastly and humourless of films.
Ahh, yes, the 'humour' which this marvellous film attempted to cram into its genre-busting cocktail like an unwilling teenager. There is nothing funny about the most irritating man created, prancing around in drag and ruining potentially tolerable sequences. There's nothing funny about the slapstick shenanigans of bumbling police officers getting outfoxed in the most ludicrous of circumstances. There's nothing funny about The Fifth Element.
In conclusion then, The Fifth Element is a confused muddle of genres, unwillingly stapled together in the most aberrant manner, and well, it's just rubbish. Whilst I appreciate the film is intended to convey a somewhat comic-book style, it's still contrived trash that no intelligent audience should be subjected to. Luc Besson has in essence ruined any credibility he ever had from the remarkable 'Leon' by churning this nonsensical tosh out. Leave well alone.