I'm sorry, but this is a horrible movie.

Rating: 5/10 (21 April 2001)

I find it hilarious that most of the people that have left comments on this movie either HATE the film or LOVE the film. There's only a few people that say "It's alright".
I saw this movie when it first came out in the theaters and hadn't bothered seeing it again till last night, and I'd have to say that I liked it even less this time around.
To be perfectly honest, I thought it was a HORRIBLE movie! I don't really get why anyone would like it. The story is horrible, the music terribly mis-placed, the comedy is just dumb and the characters are lame.
Ok, so the "Fifth Element" is this alleged "perfect being" (Milla Jovovich)? I'm sorry...but STUPID!!! And while I'm on the subject, why does everyone like Milla so much? Don't get me wrong, she's a fine actress and an ok looker, but for this "perfect being" couldn't they get someone more-perfect than Milla, I guess I just wasn't terribly impressed with her looks. Ok, back to what I was saying about the plot...there is this big ball of "evil" coming towards the earth? Again...STUPID!!! They didn't even attempt to explain what the HELL this big ball of evil is or where it came from or why it was headed toward earth. Maybe I just missed something in the film, but it didn't make any sense to me.
Ok, I have to mention this now, How on earth can anyone say that Chris Tucker's character was interesting...no wait...tolerable? Chris' character was GOD-AWFUL!!! Screaming like a little whiny bitch every 5 seconds! His character was utterly useless, his character could have EASILY been cut out of the film and it would have made a MUCH better film.
The only other character that I hated just as much as Chris Tucker's was the president of the federation. The casting person should be shot! Why did they choose Tommy 'Tiny' Lister as the president? He looks like a cross-eyed retarded thug! I just couldn't accept that this guy was the president, ANYONE else would have fit-the-mold better than this guy.
As for Gary Oldman, I thought he did a fine job with the character he played, but what was with all that lame-ass wardrobe? What was with that stupid plastic thing on the one side of his head. I just couldn't buy it, I thought it was dumb looking. And while I'm thinking of it, what the HELL was up with that stupid looking animal thing that Gary Oldman had in his office when he almost choked near the beginning of the film? It looked like something you'd see in a Flintstones movie (no disrespect to the Flintstones). I just thought it was SO out of place and SO un-needed.
Also, I couldn't stand those aliens that had the egg shaped ship in the beginning of the film. I couldn't stand their little heads, their enormous shoulders, and how slow they moved. I didn't get it, were they aliens or robots or aliens in robotic suits or what?
I didn't really have any problem with the Ian Holm character or Bruce Willis', but those were the only two that I could easily tolerate.
I WILL give some kudos to the special effects department, IMPRESSIVE!!! In fact, I'm actually considering buying this movie just for the special effects, they're really quite good. But sadly, that's the only thing it's got going for it.
You know, I like just about every sci-fi movie that comes along and I'm not kidding, I like just about everything, but I really DIDN'T like this film. It had a few good ideas, but it just seemed like they gave a 5 year-old a whole lot of money to make a movie. Overall, I'm not going to stop you from seeing this movie, come to your own conclusion, but it was just dumb. I hope you enjoy the film more than I did. Until next time,
-Cortex