From the mind of a teenager

Rating: 5/10 (7 July 2005)

About 250 years in the future, ex-soldier Korben Dallas (Willis) is working as a taxi driver when a woman comes crashing through his roof. It turns out that this woman, Leeloo (Jovovich) is actually the Fifth Element, a supreme being who, when joined with four ancient sacred stones representing wind, fire, water and earth, can fight evil. Which is lucky, since Evil is coming their way in the form of a big pulsating planet, assisted by the impossibly rich tycoon Zorg (Oldman), who is trying to locate the four stones so that Evil can prevail. After teaming up with a priest named Father Vito Cornelius (Holm) to find the stones, they travel to another planet on behalf of the Federation of the United States, where they meet up with various alien life forms who want to help or harm them, and their most frightening encounter of all, radio DJ Ruby Rhod. (Tucker)
Truthfully, I am conflicted when it comes to my ultimate outlook on this film. Visually, it was completely captivating. The set designs, (layers of air traffic in the streets of New York, going up hundreds of stories, a floating Central Park) the costumes (Gaultier, with his usual S&M-looking couture) and the colorful hair and makeup were fantastic. A lot of the contraptions (a mask that instantly does your makeup, a cigarette machine that dispenses cigarettes with increasingly longer filters for those who are trying to quit smoking) were clever and entertaining, and the overall style of the film was impressive. There were certainly some things that were really odd to me that don't really warrant explanation, I still scratched my head about, (like what was the deal with Gary Oldman sounding exactly like Billy Bob Thornton>) but ultimately chalked up to eccentricity.
There wasn't even anything universally wrong with the script; I thought that it was a very basic, but fun story, and I liked the fact that notorious badass Willis wasn't so much living up to his reputation until we approached the end of the film. Unfortunately, I became more and more irritated with some of the "humor" (mostly slapstick type things; people saying, "W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-what do you mean, a BOMB?!" and the like I think I heard "W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w" at least thirty times throughout the film) that was being presented. After viewing the film, I discovered that Besson had actually written this screenplay when he was in high school, something that is slightly impressive, but actually explains a lot in terms of the goofiness, I think. The other major irritant was Chris Tucker. I completely understand that his character was supposed to be way out there (kind of a cross between Prince and Grace Jones) but I think that the weird costumes, hair and mannerisms could have sufficed. Instead I had flashbacks to sitting in the theater watching "Star Wars: Episode I" and literally wanting to get up and hit something after listening to Jar-Jar Binks screech and prattle on. Tucker's high-pitched voice and utter lack of charm did not win any points with me, and if anything, he made the film lose at least one point on my ratings scale. Other than the aforementioned things, there wasn't a whole lot to dislike about "The Fifth Element" but there wasn't really anything to get excited about either. If this film didn't have the obnoxious Chris Tucker in it, I would consider it to be a great popcorn flick. Instead, even while just mentally flashing back to some of his scenes, I begin to feel like a drill is nearing my ear. However, because the film was fairly enjoyable other than his scenes, I give it a 5/10.
--Shelly