The Fifth Element A.K.A The "Missing" Element (spoilers)

Rating: 6/10 (14 January 2000)

I'll admit it, the first time I saw this movie I was blow away by the graceful F/X, extravagant costumes, and of course Milla Jovovich. But this juicy eye candy can not substitute for a decent plot!
Bruce Willis plays a rundown cabbie in 23rd century New York who's recruited by the government's top brass to--all together boys and girls... TO SAVE THE WORLD!!! No Spit! The guy from "Blade" uttered those exact words, yes they were that cheesy with the script! And of course he's a natural born war hero with a dozen medals/trophies and whatnot. But one must ask, "What is this ultimate force which threatens to destroy the "entire universe"? Is it an advanced alien species bent on conquest? Nope. Is it some unique space virus? Sorry, try again. But rather a (get this) a 1,200 mi diameter fireball which is headed for Earth (uh-huh).

C'mon, that's absurd! Even acting Prez "Tiny" Lister Jr. rolled his eyes while quoting the exact same line--as if to say, "OhmyGodIcan'tbelieveI'msayingthis!" I mean my 9 year old cousin could've come up with a better plot device than that! Never mind the gaping plot hole of how destroying the Earth will in-turn destroy the entire universe(?) But hey, take it or leave it!
The plot got a little silly in the third act with a "Die Hard" style shoot-out (bet ya $50 bucks this was Willis' ideal) on the Carnival Cruise between Willis, the annoying Ruby Rob (Chris Tucker) and Dogmen bad guys. Actually Rob was rather tolerable at first, but after a while you were really ready for someone to vaporize him! Then all of a sudden, everyone gets dead serious in the final act when the fireball decides it's time to slam into Earth and wipe-out all these annoying characters (you can pretty much figure out the ending yourself).
Rating: 5
Other Nitpicks:
1.) Eventhough the leader of the alien race (forgot their name) accidentally gets entombed at the beginning of the film, he (or his remains) are nowhere to be found when Willis and Co. return later on.
2.) Minutes seem to snail by in the temple on "Earth" when Willis and Co. are fiddling around, yet the view from space would suggest collision between the fireball and "Earth" are imminent.
3.) Ok, which production crew member donated the chocolate syrup leftover from their sundae to pour over Gary Oldman's forehead?