A pretentious, cliché-filled, dull love triangle disguised as a portrait of the British Royalty

Rating: 6/10 (13 February 2019)

Once again, Yorgos Lanthimos disappoints me. Before you vote my review as an unhelpful, lemme explain myself. Perhaps I have an issue with his movies, because I have never enjoyed any of his work, and this movie, unfortunately, is no exception.
Because of the hype and the multiple Oscar nominations, I had high expectations of it, but none of them were fulfilled. Here we have the story of Queen Ann (Olivia Colman) and two women who lived with her - Lady Marlborough (Rachel Weisz) and Abigail (Emma Stone). Be warned - there is no plot in the movie, only a lesbian love triangle among the 3 lead characters. At one point Abigail, who was nothing more than a servant of the palace, realizes that Lady Marlborough is the Queen's favorite for being her lover, so Abigail decides to give the Queen some love as well. Expect awkward, irksome scenes of oral sex between swollen, scab-covered legs - at this point, the audience should know "irksome" is Lanthimos's comfort zone. There's some childish jealousy when Abigail tries to poison Lady Marlborough and some even more childish melodrama when the Queen misses Lady Marlborough's touch and vice-versa. And a lot of rabbits. And that's it, and I am not exaggerating.
Of course, the movie has basically zero character development. We know all characters are flawed and do horrible things - like all characters in Lanthimos's movies do - but we don't know why they do these things, what happened to them in their lives to make them do what they do - and that's called character development, which lacks in this movie in a very blatant way. And to make matters worse, here we have the cliché-filled portrayal of a royal figure (the Queen) as a weak, gullible, laughable figure who is easily manipulated by servants and maids who seem to be smarter than Her Highness herself. Expect also the cliché scenes of the nobility in decadent parties , displaying deplorable habits. Yawn. As if we hadn't seen this is so many movies before.
Cinematography wise, I got tired, exhausted of the poorly-illuminated scenes and the fish eye camera. It made everything claustrophobic, which seems an useless strategy in this movie, because there was nothing shocking or claustrophobic going on, just a boring love triangle and a woman with bandages around her legs. The only remarkable elements in this movie, in my opinion are:

Olivia's acting - Olivia Colman is unrecognizable as Queen Ann, in a very good way; (Rachel Weisz did nothing incredible here, her role was 0% risky dramatically speaking. Emma Stone had a more difficult role but once again she still displayed the same mannerisms she showed in "Easy A", "Lala Land" and almost every movie in which she acts - exaggerated, unconvincing, trying-too-hard gestures and expressions).
Costume design;
Art direction - decent artistic portrayal of the English Royalty during late 17th/early 18th century.

Unfortunately, this movie, which has probably cost a lot of money considering its production, art direction and costume design, was a waste of budget - such a beautiful ambiance fell flat into a boring, empty plot. This is movie is not either enlightening nor shocking, neither incisive or witty, it's just a boring love triangle with very disturbing characters disguised as some "fun criticism" of the nobility and the high class.