Takes itself to seriously to pass as an 80's action movie homage

Rating: 4/10 (4 July 2017)

I saw The Expendables 2 a few years ago and find it an amusing but average (5/10) action movie. I got the chance to see the first one yesterday so I thought 'why not?' and expected it to be better... but that was not the case.
The movie starts with some terrorists on a boat having a bunch of hostages and demanding money. Just when they want to start hurting the hostages, The Expendables show up killing all the terrorists and (miraculously) saving all the hostages. After this opening we meet the Expendable team in person, with the characters Barney Ross(Stallone) and Lee Christmas(Statham) being the main heroes. Stallone receives a new assignment from a man known as Church: assassinate a ruthless dictator of a South American island. Barney and Lee go together to investigate the island and with the help of the attractive rebel leader Sandra they discover the true nature of the conflict. Barney has to make the difficult choice now to just do his job or to follow his heart and help Sandra.
Okay I know this movie is a homage to 80's action movies but the 'story' feels a bit to much like a 1-on-1 copy of Commando and I couldn't care less about the fate of the island people. In this day and age they could do a better job portraying terrorist other then letting some dudes run around with guns and letting them speak in a foreign language. The scenes where they show the 'bad guys' doing 'bad things' where very boring. Also, the acting of the "rebel leader" Sandra was horrible and she didn't come over as an leader at all, just a damsel in distress. But yeah, they wanted to go for that 80's action movie feel where everything meaningful is accomplished by big strong men.
There are lot's of big strong man in this movie, alongside Statham and Stallone. They are all standard stereo-type ex-something, exactly like the team from other action movies like Predator for example. The chemistry between the actors is decent and there are some good jokes thrown around. Statham and Stallone together works and the dialogue is not bad. I fail to see beyond the actors though, but I guess that doesn't matter with a movie like this.
My biggest disappointment are the action scenes: to much shaky cam and to much quick cuts. There is a car chase in the movie but it is so horrible cut that you cannot follow what exactly is going on at any point. And yeah, I understand that they go for that 80's feel where a couple of guys can wipe out an entire army but they push the boundaries of 'believable action' a bit to far here. (bottomless magazines, the heroes don't get hit when 40 guys fire upon them, huge explosions without any hero getting hurt, etc...)
So for me a disappointing 4 out of 10. It is watchable if your home alone and like to see some mindless action, but I think your better of firing up and old 80's action classic.