Everything you want in an action movie - just not very much of it

Rating: 5/10 (4 August 2010)

On paper this has everything you want from a big stupid action movie. Stars who can do the violence. A plot simple enough to not get in the way of the violence. A chance to violently destroy part of a foreign country. Violent tough guy dialogue. And it does have all of that. If you wait long enough.
That's the killer with The Expendables. Having got everyone together they just hang around not doing very much for way too long as if just getting them all in the same film was enough. Which means the film relies on story, writing and dialogue, and none of those are good. Too few funny lines, too few good scenes. Even Arnie's cameo is so what? Most of the first hour is sweaty guys badly photographed in dark locations. If you stick with it you get an okay last half hour, but it's just okay, not great. It's only a bit above the straight to DVD stuff most of the cast make in their day jobs. Set your expectations way down and it is okay. Expect it to live up to the cast, and you're going to be disappointed.