About what you'd expect from a Stallone-directed movie

Rating: 4/10 (22 August 2010)

Combines all of the maudlin sentimentality of the Rocky movies with the mindless violence of the Rambos. The phrase that best describes this movie is, "Yeah, Right!" A bunch of mercenaries who have obviously seen one too many wars are paid to rescue the crew of a ship captured by pirates. After laser-targeting all the pirates, they proceed to try to talk them into surrendering instead of taking care of business. (YR) Then, they risk a life-or-death fight with one of their own to keep him from hanging one of the captured pirates. (YR) When they get stateside, they are contacted by a supposed CIA Agent (Bruce Willis) along with the leader of another group (Arnold Schwarzenegger)who appear in cameo roles for about five minutes, and asked to overthrow an island dictator. Ross (Stallone) and Christmas (Jason Statham) scout the island with the help of a beautiful contact who is, guess who, the dictator's daughter. (YR) Of course, Stallone immediately falls in love with her. After almost being captured for stupidly scouting the palace, they escape in their seaplane, which turns into a fighter plane with hidden machine guns. Of course, Statham must climb into an open cockpit in the front of the plane to operate said machine guns, but what the hey? They manage to blow up an entire pier full of bad guys, of course missing the two baddest.
Meanwhile, their former comrade (who wanted to hang the pirate) turns on them and sells out to the bad guys. He battles Stallone and Jet Li, and is finally shot by Stallone.
Well, of course, the girl stayed behind on the island, and Stallone must go back and rescue her. Of course, all his team goes along for the comradeship and love of adventure only, since they've turned down the contract. (YR) The five of them manage to blow up everything and kill everyone in rather spectacular fashion. Several times we see Stallone ripping off 8 or 10 shots in about 2 seconds from a .45 Automatic. (YR) Of course, for his climactic duel with the baddest guy, he whips out a Colt Single-Action Army (YR) with which he fans six of the best into the villain just as Christmas throws a huge knife into the villain's back, which penetrates him completely, with about 4" sticking out of his chest. (YR) They then fly blissfully home, where they are met by the former comrade-turned-traitor who, it turns out, wasn't fatally shot after all, and with whom they reunite with open arms. (YR) Like I said, "Yeah, Right!" Frankly, I was hoping for some tongue-in-cheek violence, with Stallone maybe parodying his Rambo flicks. Just got another Rambo with help.