I died a little tonight....

Rating: 1/10 (19 August 2010)

What the f*ck did I just watch? Why the f*ck did I pay money to see it? I have no idea. I can't come up with a single good thing to tell someone about this movie. I laughed exactly once and not when Bruce asked Sly and the Gov if they were going to orally fornicate with each other, but when Terry Crews said "Remember this at Christmas." That's it, that's the one funny line in this so called "action packed, fast paced, thrill ride" cinematic pile.
I knew this movie was going to be marginal at best just from the cast alone. I mean you have Sly who has been in greats like the Rocky and Rambo franchises. Jason Statham has been in some decent flicks. The Transporter (except for the fact that 2 and 3 were absolute crap.) The Bank Job, The Italian Job. This is a worse notch in the belt than Death Race 2000. Jet Li, my god, this guy is a wire foo legend and now he is the comedy relief. Steve Austins movies are so good they go straight to home video and even then no one watches them. Dolph Lungren, what the hell was he in ... oh yeah, Universal Soldier and I Come In Peace...nice resume jackass and tacking this movie on to it will certainly get you a star on the ground. Randy Couture, please god Jesus stay in the ring. We need you in another movie about as bad as we need bed bugs in New York city. Stop it, just stop, please for the love of god stop. Retire with some dignity for crying out loud.
This movie was a plate of fail with a side order of sadness. With a bowl of suck for dessert and a large glass of embarrassment to wash it down with.