A tough movie about tough men who beat up other tough mentoughly.

Rating: 5/10 (1 February 2011)

In what could quite possibly be the manliest movie of all time, Sylvester Stallone is the lead actor, writer and director of The Expendables, the visually explosive extravaganza that, even with minimal advertising, generated a heap of publicity over the Internet because of its extreme action and dream cast. Does it live up to the hype? It does, in all the areas you'd expect, but not in those that would elevate this film to 'memorable' status.
Stallone plays Barney Ross, the head of a team of mercenaries who make a crust by taking on assassination missions given to them by people who, well, want someone dead. At his side are: right-hand man Lee Christmas (Statham), Ying Yang (Li) and Toll Road (Couture), with smaller roles played by Lundgren, Rourke and Crews, among others. This time, they're sent to South America to overthrow a corrupt dictator and a myriad of other generic baddies.
Far and away, the worst aspect of this film is the ridiculous, inarticulate screenplay put together by Stallone and Callaham. In what appears to be an effort to churn out quick draw one-liners at a rate of about eighty a minute, virtually anything that comes out of any character's mouth will leave you squirming in your seat, and constantly wondering why it took the efforts of two men to write this poor excuse for a script.
As one of my many film-osophies, I have mentioned in the past that a cohesive and clever screenplay is the most crucial factor in determining critical success for any film. In this case, the writers couldn't be lazier in constructing what some may refer to as 'witty banter' between a group of (supposedly) long-time friends. In a disappointing overall script, two scenes stand out among the rest: Rourke's unravelling of a dark moment in his past (which isn't touched on again for the remainder of the film), and a conversation between Stallone and (cameo appearances from) two other bonafide action megastars, which does generate a couple of laughs and even more pop culture references.
From one extreme to another, The Expendables is at its most enjoyable, unsurprisingly, during the all-out set pieces. For all his weaknesses as a writer, Stallone does not receive due credit for being able to direct action, and direct it well. Crisp choreography is constantly on display, but never more so than during the fight between Couture and Austin, who have both competed in some form of martial arts previously, and clearly have the art down pat.
Just as important is the refreshing camera use during these highly charged scenes. Too often blockbuster directors have assumed that the way to direct action is with a closely focused camera and a mind-bending number of quick cuts (see: Clash of the Titans and the Transformers saga). Believe it or not, the audience actually likes seeing what is going on during these scenes, and Stallone doesn't disappoint in this area, ensuring a wide enough shot that allows viewers to comprehend the intense on-screen pace, while still capturing the testosterone emulating from the actors. Take notes, Michael Bay.
I couldn't end a review of The Expendables without mentioning the input of Terry 'Double Sun Power' Crews. A perennial crowd favourite, his ballistic assault on the enemy with his weapon of choice during the climax will leave you fighting the urge to cheer in your seat; 'crowd- pleaser' is the best, and only, way to describe it. So, after all that, has The Expendables done enough to call itself the manliest film ever made? Unfortunately, I feel that honour still rests with Casino, but this film has certainly done enough to provoke you to knock out the next person who badmouths facial hair, followed by a round of fist-bumping and man-hugs to celebrate.