A slow start but an almighty bang of a finale.

Rating: 3/10 (13 August 2010)

Late last year when I was reading a movie magazine in bed I came across a small article that took me by surprise. Stallone, Statham, Li, Lundgren, Couture, Austin, Rourke... they were all going to appear in an action blockbuster together! And Arnie and Willis were earmarked for cameos! I was so overwhelmed with excitement and adrenaline I immediately went to my bathroom mirror and started flexing my muscles. With the very quick realisation that my bulging biceps were perhaps imaginative, I sulked back to bed, but my enthusiasm for The Expendables couldn't be dampened.
Fast forward 10 months and the action extravaganza is here. Only, it's not quite the extravaganza I was hoping for. There were some flaws I expected before walking into the cinema – a weak excuse for plot development, cringe-worthy dialogue and fairly ordinary acting largely thanks to Mr Lundgren – however the faults don't stop there. Most disappointingly the cast, with the exception of Statham and Couture, are almost completely devoid of charisma. Even the eagerly-awaited encounter between Sly, Arnie and Brucey fizzles away into blandness thanks to the trio metaphorically winking so hard at the camera. As for the main man, Stallone may want to think about hanging up the ol' action boots. It's not for lack of trying, his ambition to match the younger blokes is obvious, however he simply just doesn't have it anymore.
The action itself can be reviewed in two parts: the final act and everything that comes before it. Up until the hour mark the set-pieces are rather mundane. Even a duel between Lundgren and Li – a match-up that should've been a highlight – lacks oomph, whilst the opening is as dreary as anything you would find in the lowest standard of action flick. Thankfully the last 30 minutes nearly redeems the whole film. There's more blood, guts, explosions, knife-throwing and gun-fights than you could poke a rocket-launcher at. Yet the best part is the brutal, bone-crunching hand-to-hand melees that feature Stallone vs Austin, Couture vs Austin and Li vs two-dozen random guys. If there was an action heaven, this last act is what it would look like.
After an extremely slow start The Expendables comes home with an almighty bang of a finale that is worth the price of admission alone.
3 out of 5 (1 - Rubbish, 2 - Ordinary, 3 - Good, 4 - Excellent, 5 - Classic)