Just a vision of one selfish man...

Rating: 5/10 (11 September 2011)

This film... is one... big... circus act! And Sylvester Stallone, the director and leading star of this film is one selfish, arrogant, dumb, retarded, relentless a-hole. This guy is unbelievable! He is just impossible! After Rocky 6 and Rambo 4... Jesus... this guy needs to hit a retirement right now, or even years before. Stallone goes totally insane. He is someone who gives people false promises to make a good action film. And he made a promise to make an action film in 2010, that looks like a classic 80s action film. Well, first of all you can't do that? Why? Because 80s were long gone! If you want to make a 80s action film, build a time machine and go back to 80s! And I say, let's do it! Because Stallone obviously lives in the 80s, or early 90s, in his head, the guy's nuts! 80s classic film, huh? Cell phones here? Not very popular in 80s.
Now, the script, the plot... is just pure nonsense! The 80s films had good scripts and they had a meaning! The plot is pretty fast here. Just giving you an action and bunch of action character from 80s and 90s.
Now, that's a circus show. We got Stallone, Statham, Lundgren, Li, Rourke and new additions as Crews and Corture. And we also got cameo of Bruce Willis and good old Arnie. That's just to show the good old three action kings in the film. Boring!
The only thing I liked about this film was Bruce Willis. He looked great and he was cool. And I am keep asking myself... why Sly and Arnie didn't perform oral sex on each other? Really, I'd say cool film if that happened!
Now, it's very stupid and unthinkable to put all those famous action stars in the film. I mean, what do you want? A film, or a damn bomb?! That's disgusting to see all those people here... Jet Li, who was funny, Lundgren who was really slow, and nothing else to do! Rourke? Jesus Christ, look at him! Michael Jackson's got a new replacement! Rourke was terrible. Nothing but sitting around and talking in his gravel, monotone voice with Stallone and of course Stallone talks in his retarded mumbling... Crews and Corture were new to this, of course Crews is one big, muscular guy and Corture is a former UFC champion, so they would be a fine addition to the film... for the love of... moving on!
Now, Stallone wanted also to put Steven Seagal, Van Damme, Wesley Snipes, Jackie Chan and some other actors in this film. Hell, why didn't you resurrect Bruce Lee while you were at it? Why didn't you bring Chuck Norris? Because Chuck would cure Stallone's retarded mumbling and then kill him! What a Hell? Action was fast, bloody and gory... 80s were not like that. That's only in Stallone's mind that every action film needs to be full of blood or gore. Who says so? Did you see Rambo 4? That bloody nut house? I rest my case...
The villains here... Eric Roberts as a villain? He was just evil and that's it. Remember those good 80s villains. Old Rambo films had good villains, remember Bennett from Commando (1985)? Remember Arnie or Lundgren as Terminator and Ivan Drago, remember Robert Patrick as T1000? Remember Steven Seagal was once skinny and handsome? But, no! Here we get a guy who has no style, no charisma, nothing special, just walking around and being evil. And he also had Gary Daniels and Stone Cold Steve Austin as his personal bodyguards. Daniels is great, but Austin was there just to have a fight Corture! That was predictable!
So what you got here is a madness of a man who needs to go retire or better yet kill himself. Stallone, stop making movies, you were once great! But, now... Expendables 2 is coming... I rest my case again. Now, hate me, spit me... Go ahead! Only because I gave a facts about that crazy, selfish c--ksucker! And if you are that blind to see it, Stallone ruined 80s for us with this film! He ruined that old, good impression.