Worst action movie ever?

Rating: 3/10 (1 December 2012)

You expect a measure of unreality in action movies, that's what they're all about. But such unreality ought be leavened by a pinch of verisimilutude, a sharp line or a sympathetic character, otherwise it'll fall flat.
'The Expendables' expends all these leavenings. Oh, but it doesn't stop there, even the action sequences are, to say the least, unimpressive. The climactic fight scenes take place in a dark tunnel, so it's hard to see what's happening and there is no room for any choreographed balletic action.
To make an obvious comparison, the firehose fight sequence in 'Transporter 2' is beautifully managed, the action, the camera-work, the editing, all work together to make a cinematically impressive fight sequence, as ridiculous as it may be in realistic terms. Nothing in 'The Expendables' comes close.
The characters in this movie are little more than names. The dialogue is leaden (how could any screenwriter want to put their name to it?) and clunks around the movie like heavy chains around the actors necks. There is one woman in the movie, she's water-tortured. The final action sequences, when the castle collapses, the ammo dump explodes, are just plain stupid.
Evidence for the prosecution: Sly asks Terry to throw a shell into the air, Sly shoots it with his full auto 68 round handgun and it explodes, destroying a helicopter. Yeah, right With Sly, Dolph and Mickey up there on the big screen, this almost comes across as an advertisement for ill-advised plastic surgery. The very attractive Giselle Itie can't help but make them look even worse.
All up, this is just about the worst 'action' movie I've seen in the last ten years.