Testosterone so thick you can cut it with a machete

Rating: 7/10 (13 August 2010)

The Expendables is the first/last action movie where the selling point is the aura of the ensemble cast, and this one has testosterone so thick you can cut it with a machete. Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone, multitasking as director and co-writer) is leader of the eponymous mercenary team. His number one guy is Lee Christmas (played by Jason Statham) and rounding out the team are Dolph Lundgren , Jet Li, Randy Couture, and Terry Crews—must of whom have loosely defined names. For $5 million in cash they are going to overthrow a rogue CIA operative named James Monroe (Eric Roberts), who has seized a small island where he profits from drug trafficking.
Rounding up this cast was a gallant move on Stallone's part, but he's never been a great director. The Expendables features some uninspired shaky cam and outlandish CGI blood, but it's worth mentioning that neither occur as often as I had expected. The theatrical score sounds like it was pirated from a bargain DVD and Foley mixing oversells every knife stab. The title sequence is among the worst I've ever seen and that's partially because it's essentially repeated. Obviously he was focusing efforts on the visual nature of the action, and on that end I didn't see anything groundbreaking nor did I see anything shameful. The showpiece stunt is quite nice. It involves Statham sitting at the nose of a cargo plane firing from recessed machine guns as they dive as a dock full of enemy combatants; it's as thrilling as it sounds. In a time where everything seems to have been done, I have to say that I haven't seen that before.
Aside from a plot I wouldn't present for show-and-tell, the inherited dilemma of ego jockeying becomes insurmountable. Almost every male in The Expendables is/was a reputable name in action movies and often times the lead or only male on a poster. It's obvious that Stallone takes center stage, but with so many expendable men for the camera to switch to during a fight, the climatic battle is a dark blur of explosions. Each character may have a skill, be it knives, wrestling, or marital arts, but they are all relentless killing machines and a movie that maintains this single breed of character across so many actors can't stay interesting from start to finish.
We can be thankful that Randy Couture has limited lines, and I suspect he is as well. The rest of the cast has it either just as bad, or quite good. The much ballyhooed union of Stallone with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis is a short of sweat treat with some of the best laughs in the movie. The most dramatic moment is a simple recollection from resident tattoo guru Tool (Mickey Rourke).
Many of the actors featured in The Expendables are not finished, but for several this is a goodbye in the sense that this will likely be their last high profile movie. With comic book inspired films eating up the box office, the sun is setting on this brand of entertainment. The Expendables serves as a swan song for the '80s film. Once the cornerstone of summer, these Redbox renegades have bid farewell after this, their final stand.