80's action on 'roids

Rating: 9/10 (5 June 2011)

Well, well, well, just when one thinks that an action movie can't sink lower in the bowels of pointless and gratuitous violence, here comes a movie like the Expendables THANK YOU! What took you guys so long to get your crap together? This movie is a no-brainerliterally. You're not supposed to thinkAT ALL. Just go in, buy your popcorn, large fountain drink, a couple of hotdogs, maybe a tray of nachos, and several assorted boxes of candy, and eat your comfort food and enjoy the violence and the tough guy talk—which at times, is undecipherable (i.e. Stallone). It's all good in the hood. Don't analyze it. It's kind of like the last Rambo movie. It's what it is and what it's supposed to be for a certain audience. Guys who like this kind of stuff. If you're going there for story or clever dialogue or for research on rocket science, don't do itjust don't do it. Heard that Van Dam was offered a role but the role he was offered wasn't big enough for him. Too bad, he should have done it, it's not like Willis or Arnold had a big role, but they had the funniest scene in the movie. Maybe they'll have a sequel and ol' Claude will show up. But thank you, Sly, for this one. Had a blast. Couldn't stop laughing, and not at funny moments, at the action stuff and basic entire start of it all. And not out of ignorance or laughing at you. NOT AT ALL. But because I was enjoying it so much and was beside myself. Went with a couple of ol' buddies of mine and we must have whacked each other in the arm a dozen times each during scenes. Just a boy's night out. Caveman style. Like the old days.