Hilariously Awful

Rating: 2/10 (18 December 2010)

I came into this movie with high expectations, but I feel confident that even if I had no expectations at all, I would somehow have been disappointed. It was downhill form the start, and at first I thought it was a joke. Honestly, the special effects were so bad, even in the opening scene (purple thermal camera, lasers on sniper rifles, don't get me started on the blood), that it looked like it had been made as a spoof. With such a big name cast, I was obviously expecting much more. In fairness to the actors, they did okay with the lines they were given, and Mickey Rourke was a definite bright spot, but the dialogue was awful, and none of the one-liners were witty. Additionally, the claim that Schwarzenegger and Willis are in this movie is completely deceitful, as they are only in the movie for a total of two minutes, in a completely actionless and uninteresting scene. I'm going to skip over the plot holes because I do realize what kind of movie this is, which almost requires plot holes, but the overall story was not very compelling. The whole back story of Christmas I found to be irrelevant and distracting to the plot (a term which I use loosely). I did not grow to like any of the characters. There was a meth-head that somehow is impervious to bullets to the chest, a constantly complaining Asian stereotype, a whiny and stupid General's daughter, Sylvester Stalone, a guy named "Toll Road," who is hardly noticeable until he takes down Austin, the Old Spice guy, and the requisite knife-thrower who seemed be devoid of three-dimensionality of any sort, despite the writers' best attempts to throw in a beaten girlfriend. In conclusion; the effects suck, the characters suck more, the plot sucks even more, and the action is unsatisfying, particularly with the terrible ever-shaking camera (it adds suspense) and awful camera angles.