The Expendables: A Blustering Flurry of Disappointment

Rating: 3/10 (27 August 2010)

Sylvester Stallone and I have long held a very rocky and uncertain relationship. His early material (the first two Rocky films, First Blood, even Paradise Alley and F.I.S.T.) exhibited a man with talent and cinematic know-how beyond his gruff and mumbling appearance. The mid 80s saw the beginning of a seemingly never-ending whirlwind of generic action hits (even managing to affect, and almost effect, the Rocky and Rambo franchises). A modern day revival (beginning perhaps with Cop Land and reaching a breathtaking zenith with Rocky Balboa) boasted to my surprise that Sly could still hold his own in the cinematic ring. As such, I had high expectations of The Expendables. Could this be Stallone's way of apologising for his previous indulgences with a proper action film?
An elite group of professional mercenaries, The Expendables find themselves tasked with removing a tyrannical despot backed by a rogue CIA agent. Struggling with problems both within the team and without, leader Barney Ross is disinclined to accept the mission until the determination of a local young woman inspires him to help out those who truly need it.
As I said in the overly long introductory paragraph above, Stallone has shown in recent times that he can not only still act, but can direct in a beautiful and effective manner and create enticing and rewarding stories. The Expendables is his first effort in applying this second wind of creativity to something entirely original; not based on a previously explored character. From the get-go, the stripped down and unglamourised violence which characterised 2008's Rambo is seen here, again used to steer the tired genre back to its early roots. The first scene exhibits some misplaced and ineffective humour, including some barely vagued digs at Stallone's age. Once we are introduced to the characters, we begin to be assailed by one-liners, genre cliché, and some woeful acting. Randy Couture displays the on screen charisma of a furniture shop, bizarrely being given the bulk of a scene (and a very poor one at that) to carry despite has lack of talent of any sort whatsoever. Twenty to thirty minutes in comes the long awaited scene for which the film garnered much of its publicity: Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and Willis sharing the screen at last. To call it a disappointment is an understatement, the barrage of pitiful dialogue and rapid-fire "jokes" making the doors seem ever more appealing. Thereafter we launch into the main section of the movie, more of the same: relatively decent action; astoundingly awful dialogue; standard genre techniques. A blustering flurry of disappointment and despair, made even worse by the occasional line or glance which seem to showcase an actual film struggling to make itself known beneath the layers of well-trodden stereotypes. A scene featuring Mickey Rourke describing his reasoning behind retiring from the group is the paragon of these moments, Rourke's genuinely breathtaking performance by far the best thing to be seen here, albeit entirely wasted. One cannot help but think The Expendables may once have had some potential, a thought which engenders much lamentation given the eventual extent of its mediocrity. And, as if we needed further flaws, no main character is ever harmed at all, and we get a happy ending gearing us up for a sequel. Oh, bother.
Although I desperately wanted to find a good film within this, and gave it every chance to present itself, The Expendables leaves a bitter taste of disappointment and a feeling of betrayal. Lacking any innovation or originality, wasting opportunities all around, and delivering dialogue to make ears swell up, it simply fails. Though I will commend its action sequences, better as they are than most modern films, it's just not enough.