A perspective of The Expendables from a woman aged over 40 (it ain't good)

Rating: 5/10 (16 August 2010)

I was dragged to see this by my husband, who evidently quite enjoyed it. I did not. I have to say I'm completely mystified that it's so far received such high ratings. Was I at the same movie as these other people? The novelty of all these big action heroes of yesterday and today being together under one title soon wears off. Arnold is in it for maybe 2 minutes (hardly surprising given his day job) and he doesn't take his shirt off. Bruce isn't in it for much longer than that either. I'd call both of those cameo appearances.
The story was basic and obvious. The script was dire, a grade schooler could have written it. The acting was mostly poor and contained much ham - but then with that script it's hardly surprising. The action was overblown and often ridiculous, with people escaping the apparently inescapable without a scratch. Somehow all of our protagonists managed to avoid any injury whatsoever (with the exception of Dolph who was shot by Sly).
About the only thing that was remotely pleasing to me was that nobody made out with the damsel in distress. That would have been even more improbable than everyone getting away uninjured from all the explosions! Glad to see that Sly retained a smidgen of realism in this otherwise silly shoot em/blow em/burn em/squish em up.