Know what to expect, and don't think that all the legends get equal screen-time

Rating: 7/10 (12 August 2010)

Too many chefs spoil the meal. Or something like that. Assembling a group this size of legends in this kind of movie runs that risk. It doesn't fall in that trap... instead, only Sly(one has to wonder why he and Arnie didn't appear together before this... I guess they were too big rivals? Anyway, the Austrian and Willis are hardly in this) and Statham are in this more than a little(the rest are in this at the beginning and end... Carpenter isn't in this much, either). Li doesn't engage in a lot of martial arts(and a mere single fight), Couture just about none, other than taking out goons. Lundgren is cool as usual, in a role of reasonable size. Eric Roberts is perfect as the villain we love to hate. Austin has reasonable presence, and they get good mileage out of him. The acting isn't impressive. Humor mostly tries too hard(with that said, some of it is excellent), especially the forced banter that is meant to make us feel like these guys really know each other. The dialog is corny and clichéd with few exceptions. This is stereotyped all the way, but that's about what would be expected. On the whole, this is like the recent Rambo; a pure, no-holding-back, dirty, bloody, gory 80's action(with that said, it gets to be increasingly disorienting and chaotic when it grows grand in scope... and not all of it works) flick. We've got car-chases, shooting, knifing and huge explosions, and a ton of it(if there are gaps between them, and they can be awkward). Stallone(who remains a dependable, if not flawless director for this sort of picture) tries to have his cake and eat it too, the people on the island are not the enemy, which is nice, but still the native soldiers are gunned down by the boatload. The plot is odd and confusingly poorly told. A small island called Vilena has problems with its government. Mainly because of a rogue CIA agent. The Expendables are hired to take care of it. They go about this by causing carnage wherever they can. This uses classic rock for the score, which is a great and fitting choice. One last thing... are the character names a joke? A dare? Seriously. There is plenty of brutal violence, disturbing content and moderately frequent strong language in this. I recommend this to anyone looking for this kind of thing. The testosterone is through the roof on this one. 7/10