Big names, small plot.

Rating: 2/10 (10 January 2011)

Let The Expendables be a lesson to all moviegoers, if the previews for the movie mention that it has a ton of action stars and shows nothing else, it's because the movie has a lot of action stars in it, and nothing else. I could bore you with the details of the plot (there was one in there somewhere) but really, what's the point? So instead I will give you the reader's digest version. There are bad guys running some banana republic and Stallone and his crew go shoot/stab/explode them all. There you go. That's it, the whole movie. I hope it was good for you because I wasted an hour and a half to bring you that sentence.
While it might be OK for an action film to be very light on plot, it isn't OK for it to be light on action that makes any form of sense. I'm not talking about unrealistic action heroics, I'm fine with that. I'm talking about not having any idea whatsoever as to who is where and doing what to whom at any point in the film. The camera-work/story boarding/choreography was terrible, I never had any Idea what in the world was going on or why. It was so bad I can' t even give you a cohesive example of a bad scene because they all ran together in one mega action sequence that resulted in more fires than the Lakers winning the NBA championship. Who knew everything in the Caribbean was so explosive and flammable? No plot, no characterization to speak of, poor camera-work, confusing action sequences, and a boatload of meat heads makes for an expendable movie. Don't see it, it sucks.