This is what I now call a "Julie Brown"...

Rating: 6/10 (5 September 2013)

...which is to say, "I Like 'Em Big and Stupid," the comedian/singer's (not to be confused with MTV's Downtown Julie Brown) debut single. I used to refer to films of this nature as BSMs, but the reference to Ms. Brown's classic hit is just too good to resist, and "The Expendables 2" is as fine an example of the genre to start with as anyone could ask.
The boys are back in town, and more cartoonishly than ever. Stallone, Statham, Lundgren, Couture, Crews, and Li (briefly) are all back from the franchise opener, along with Willis and Schwarzenegger, along with the added seasoning of Liam "The Hunger Games" Hemsworth and newcomer (to most Americans) Nan "Speed Racer' Yu, providing some welcome ass- kicking estrogen, and the fading icons Jean-Claude "Bloodsport" Van Damme and Chuck "Deus ex" Norris. They all deliver the goofy goods with gusto and galloping gallantry, almost making one overlook the absurd script, atrocious dialog and impossible physics. Shelly "Captain America: The First Avenger" Johnson's camera-work is fine and dandy, as is Simon "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider" West's direction, thankfully keeping the action discernible; I look forward to their rendition of next year's "Heat" (no relation to the 1995 Michael Mann classic heist film).
No more need be said. This entry in the action hero smackdown franchise is as big and stupid as one could ask, so just dial the brain cells down to zero and enjoy. The body count is ludicrous, as is the story, but somehow it wormed its way into my submerged adolescent heart. I'll likely never bother watching it again, but have no regrets having burnt off a few hours otherwise. Yippee-ki-yay!