Expendable Fun

Rating: 6/10 (1 November 2012)

Um, right. Pretty much non-stop action, violence, shooting, explosions, chases, blood, guts, fights, rampant mayhem and a script drenched in more corn and cheese than you could shake a battery farm full of egg laying chickens dipped in Edam at. Most of the Expendables could be more aptly termed the Expandables, and they certainly show their age in front of the unflinching eye of the camera lens – which quite brutally exposes more plastic work, face and eye lifts than a Joan Rivers lookalike convention. Statham looks the most normal and less of a bloated cartoon caricature out of the older contingent, but then he's younger than they are. A mere pup.
It thinks it's funnier and cleverer than it is and it thinks it's a lot more fun to watch than it is. There's something a bit sad about it all, probably because it fails to acknowledge that these guys ain't the young buck action heroes they once were and treats them as if they were still at the top of their game. If the comedy and satire focused on their advanced ages maybe it would be a touch more endearing. But it doesn't really and it isn't.
The jokes and quips are a bit flat and come over as if they were just made up as the shoot rolled along. The script sounds random and improvised, so it's not exactly a tightly wound machine. There's no way that a cast list like this is not going to be of interest, but the idea of it is a lot better than the actual experience and execution.
If thick-eared self-aggrandising action fantasy semi-parody is your bag, and you like seeing a bunch of pensioners all getting together to kick ass, it will appeal. Just don't expect too much other than a moderately engaging action movie time-filler trading heavily on the past glories of some of its cast. Not essential viewing, more expendable fun, if you will.