Some may enjoy though I sure didn't!

Rating: 5/10 (8 November 2012)

I have absolutely nothing against any amount of gratuitous violence, swearing or sex in the movies I watch. I'm not one of those prudes or cultured snobs who proclaims that movies that feature buckets of blood are not acceptable and are a blot on the art. No, I enjoy that which is art, and that which is most assuredly entertainment. I enjoyed the last Expendables as such a piece of entertainment and it was fun. Watching a movie about the propagation of the American dream with bundles of ammo flung at foreigners tickled the neurons in my brain that enjoy such a movie that decidedly does not take itself seriously. But here's the thing. The sequel SUCKED for me.
It obviously wasn't the violence as I have already stated. And it definitely wasn't the playfully xenophobic and misogynistic tone of the movie. Those were expected as the target audience is a bunch of testosterone fuelled males looking for some blood-spurtin' action. It was the fact that it really wasn't done that well.
Firstly, what everyone's talking about; the cameos by the immortal Chuck Norris, the Guvernator Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis and Jean Claude Van Damme. Many people here are raving about how awesome Chuck Norris and Arnie are in this movie. Really? All I saw was how the director decided to put the badasses of the 80s and put them in their clichéd roles they embodied at their prime, which though sounds amazing in paper, was done incredibly badly. If it was used to good effect, it would have been a great part of the movie. Instead we get one-liners and other done-to-death jokes pushed into the movie just for the sake of being humorous. The punchlines were jammed and slammed into the dialogue and brought up at awkward places where they don't really work. Other movies have done this before and the way it worked for them was they did it SUBTLY. It makes it far more enjoyable than getting it hurled at you.
Secondly, I'm sure I'm not the only guy who noticed that these dudes are OLD. This was aptly pointed out at the end by Arnie's little joke but it was not a pretty sight to see. The first movie didn't make me feel this too bad but this time I can see the tons of effort put into making Stallone a little younger. I can see Van Damme's wrinkled skin and pouchy eyes. Schwarzenegger looks almost pitiful here and I felt a little sorry for him. Only Bruce Willis actually pulled off the fresh and ready look. I didn't enjoy looking at their aged faces trying their best to pull this off and I felt a bit embarrassed.
Finally, the plot in this movie was crap. I didn't expect a Dark Knight or a Black Swan or anything really. But when they tried to pull of a death and revenge plot line, I felt they did it really badly. To be able to do a successful death scene, there needs to be enough character developed for us to care when they die. That simply can't happen when you're gleefully mowing down scores of villains with no regrets. This movie tried to be more than that and it fails.
What it does good is be a throwback to the 80s. The stereotypical villain, named Jean Villain in a fit of awesomeness, even sports a Satan tattoo. He does bad, bad things, has a much more skilled sidekick who is killed by the hero's worthy sidekick as the hero himself sets out to vanquish him. The formula offers some hilarity, some nostalgia and much fun through its shortcomings. The villains miss every shot when the Americans rarely ever miss, corporations and their evil abounds and epic shootouts and fights happen all the time.
Personally, I didn't enjoy the movie much. Hence the sorta low rating. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't recommend to fans of such movies. If you think you will go ahead, then do so by all means. I hope you enjoy it more than I did.