They're all BackAnd Better

Rating: 8/10 (21 January 2013)

Anyone who still subscribes to the flawed theory: Sequels are NEVER better than the originals, better leave the room now.
Much like other retro movies like Freddy Vs. Jason, The Expendables 2 has to be refreshing to all those who grew up in the 1980s with these muscle men. This should've very well been the first movie in the series, but since that's neither here, nor there, allow me to exclaim: I fraking loved this movie, and I wasn't even the biggest fan of these guys back then.
This is the Piranha 3D of 2012: the movie never lied about what it was all about and gave us all everything we wanted. Such as a straight-line plot, hilarious lines, great action and quick-to-the-point scenarios. This movie absolutely started with a bang, never let up and got progressively better until the outright 1980s/1990s fantastic climax. I cannot express how much I had a blast during this.
And this is coming from someone who loves originality and unpredictable films, of which this was neither. Again, this movie provided everything to satisfy a decades old combo-pack of action stars. As stated, this reminded me a lot of Piranha 3D: Everything that was foreseen for people who grew up loving those types of movies was granted.
I wanted to see the stars Jason Statham, Sylvester Stallone and Randy Couture show their awesome moves (namely, my favorite action star of the entire cast, Statham – he was awesome) and co-stars, like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis and Jet Li all kick ass, and they did. Further, I've never been a Jean-Claude Van Damme fan, but was welcoming his signature kick. And this, I proclaim, is my very first Chuck Norris film I've seen. Despite him not front-running the show, it's still my first (and enjoyable) experience of his on screen presence.
When the only thing that disappointed me was the extreme lack of Jet Li and no Jackie Chan invited to the party – I mean, c'mon guys! – then, I know the positives surely outweighed the measly negatives.
The plot – ha, this is a purposely retread of all of those involved's past movies – is fairly simple: to settle a debt, the D-Team must retrieve an object, lose it and seek revenge and redemption and become heroes.
I probably would've hated such a clichéd movietwenty-thirty years ago. And I usually did. But, when you make it such a tongue-in-cheek and fun ride such as this, you can't help but smile and enjoy the trip.
Recap: The Expendables (2010): 2/5 Stars. The Expendables 2 (2012): 4/5 Stars. Hmm, not all sequels are inferior.
And even with the inevitable The Expendables 3, and there's nothing I can do to stop that, I hope they take the lessons learned here: Continue to have fun making it, take nothing serious and remember Jackie Chan's still alive!