I'm sort of embarrassed that I kind of liked it.

Rating: 6/10 (11 May 2015)

I'm embarrassed that I sorta liked this.
Sometimes I like to give something I know is basically dumb a try, just because sometimes dumb things are fun. Let's be honest, you would have to be brain dead not to know basically what to expect here, the only question is whether or not it is watchable.
In this case the movie starts out pretty strong, but by the time we get to the last third, I'm pretty sure the script just read: shoot a lot of people, blow up a lot of things, try to occasionally toss in some clever or ironic quips and banter (most of which failed due to being far too self-conscious and inauthentically self-deprecating--I wouldn't expect any of these guys to be able to tell a good joke).
I knew that I was just consuming motion picture cotton candy when I started this, but by the end I was diabetic. If they had shown more restraint with the mindless action, especially towards the end, this would have been a much stronger film.
Also, this movie was obviously supposed to have elements of parody to it, but that aspect just fell flat--neither the script nor the actors were up to it.
Lastly, we get a clear demonstration that the only halfway decent actor in the whole bunch is Bruce Willis--if nothing else, he does smirking better than anyone else in the whole world. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chuck Norris were particularly agonizing to watch. It'd be cruel to put either in a wet paper bag, because neither could act their way out.
With all that said, this movie still mostly held my attention until the end, although it'll be a while before I'll be opening a vein again for another Hollywood big-budget, totally nutritionless, sugar overdose like this one.