Makes Michael Bay's most mindless garbage look like Citizen Kane

Rating: 2/10 (28 August 2013)

I was going to give this film 1 star, but I added an extra star out of respect for one particular individual, whose name I will likely never know: the poor soul tasked with subtitling this wretched mess for Netflix. Here is my take-away:
1. Between Stallone, Van Damme, and Schwarzenegger, much of the "dialog" in this film is so mush-mouthed as to be unintelligible (hence my aforementioned tremendous respect for the subtitler). On the other hand, there isn't very much important dialog in this movie anyway.
2. There is a plot, but it's so generic, predictable, and clichéd that it serves only as a tool to divide up the acts. (Alright, to be fair, it was probably helpful in planning the production schedule, too).
3. There are lots of explosions. Lots and lots of explosions.
That's about all there is to say about The Expendables 2. It's not just a bad film; it's an exceptionally bad film. It managed to insult my intelligence, my faith in these beloved action stars, my love of movies in general, and my faith in humanity as a species.
But of course, they're already making another sequel.