Painfully bad, including the fake punches

Rating: 1/10 (17 March 2016)

The synopsis here: "Mr. Church reunites the Expendables for what should be an easy paycheck, but...."
Well that was an easy paycheck and the story ends! This is bad B- Movie entertainment with a big budget. Too much money and too many stars for it to fall this flat. It's made for Mystery Science Theater 3000 as a film to talk back to the screen and laugh at as the really bad jokes flop, one after another.
I knew we were going to have a problem when Stallone, now well past his prime, goes into a bar with Statham and take on the really, really huge guy. You can see one of them flop to the ground after Stallone visibly swings wide and completely misses the target. That scene epitomizes this film. You are left wondering whether there was editing and, if it was edited, they just said "screw it. These idiots who came to see our first movie won't give a damn. They are here for the big names, our recycled dumb lines, big explosions and bad villains we hate. Plot? We don't need no stinking plot! Let's just serve us up a sexy Chinese woman and we are golden."
What a stinker. Humor is forced right down your throat that is painful. Leading to action scenes that looked like they were staged on a set in Hollywood. Nobody in the street but 100 guys with submachine guns taking on a handful of our heroes. Thousands of rounds are fired and yet not one of these idiots can even come close to hitting our heroes. Even massive artillery doesn't help with their aim. The film should have just treated itself as a total comedy right from the start.
It's really that bad.