Boyish childhood fantasy violence.

Rating: 7/10 (31 August 2008)

Let me be blunt: I ignored this movie with my life for years because I assumed it was just another cheesy zombie movie that would amount to nothing more than yet another night of boredom that I'd end up falling asleep to. I LOVE zombie video games, but I have never once seen a zombie movie that could fulfill that awesomeness and utter zombie carnage that games like Dead Rising and Resident Evil did. Until I saw The Evil Dead, I assumed it was simply impossible to put that much awesomeness that zombie games have on film. Dawn of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead both bored me, were pathetic, and couldn't come close to filling that hole that zombie games put in my heart. So, why would I want to watch something like The Evil Dead? I only watched it because one of my favorite critics, Yahtzee from Zero Punctuation, suggested it. To my shock, The Evil Dead is the first and only zombie movie I have ever enjoyed. Ever.
Unlike boring George A. Romero films The amount of punk carnage was not toned down, much like the games I love. The characters actually have some personality and had something to say other than: "Oh, God, zombies!" over and over again. They didn't bother to ask what is going on, giving them a sense of self-aware realism. This movie was also purely for ENTERTAINMENT. Let me repeat myself: ENTERTAINMENT. Do half the directors/writers out there even know what that world means? There was no brainless social commentary we've heard since we were old enough to pee on our own, as seems to be included in every movie ever made by law or something. I think that is why I like Sam Raimbi so much, because he clearly states that his movies are for ENTERTAINMENT (I'm going to put that in all caps from now on in hopes some random director who stumbles on this will remember what it means) and not for retarded critical acclaim or some pointless social commentary.
As for the violence, for an 80's movie, it was freaking childishly amazing! This is the kind of stuff I'd dream about as a little boy. Some of the gore effects were hard to look at because they were insanely outdated, but they were few and far between. At times, they even added to the cheese atmosphere. This is just as violent as modern horror movies like 30 Days of Night and The Hills Have Eyes remake, if you can look past the armature blood effects. (I'm mainly referring to the lack of decent blood on the severed limbs/heads.) Also, the cheesy disturbing factor added to it. But unlike modern horror movieslike Mirrorsthere was no cheap cliché scares. The clichés that were there this movie created, which I can ignore. The idea of being raped by trees was pretty original and laughably disturbing, in a good way, as well. Also, the idea of zombies that . . . umm, shape-shiftedis that what they did?was both original and just awesome. I'm not even sure I'd call them zombies as much as vampire-evil-doll-clown-zombie-demon . . . things.
Overall, this gave me a new hope that zombie movies could be truly amazing and gory. This really is THE best zombie movie EVER. Why? Because it remembers ENTERTAINMENT.
What more can I say?
5/10