The Right Colour of Blood

Rating: 8/10 (7 September 2013)

It's difficult to explain why this film is so entertaining more than 30 years after it's original release. I've seen the film before, know what happens next and it's got pretty average acting, but it's still a good film because of the intertwined level of horror and humour. When I first watched this film it was a full blown, shocking horror, but now, thirty years on, it's a complete comedic blast. Almost genius in a way.
After watching hoards of horror movies recently I was half expecting TED to fall flat on its face in comparison, but if you've seen films like 'High Tension' and the way it veers off with idiotic plot holes and ridiculous twists at the end, you'll really appreciate the straightforward A-Z terror mapping of this film. It's essentially scares and survival of young adults getting more and more freaked out while looking for ways to get to grips with the situation and then survive, but all done in a ridiculously bombastic way.
After victim no.1, Cheryl, is zombiefied and then superbly bundled down the cellar, the naive group have problems grasping what's going on. They're just kooky kids freaked out in the woods at night, witnessing very strange things.
"I think there's something out there" one of the girls says. You're not wrong there darling, and something very much down the cellar as well.
As we all know, rule number one of any horror situation is lock all doors, board up all windows and do not go outside until morning. Well forget that...
After Shelly gets singed in the open log fire, she utters "Thank you. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't pulled me off those hot coals, burning my pretty flesh", one of the films' laugh out loud moments. The first infected bitch, Cheryl, chained off down the cellar, lifts up the hatch on a regular basis so she can taunt the others for being so weak and scared - a true classic 10/10 horror/humour event, filled with malice and no shortage of cackles.
And of course there's hero Ashley, getting smashed around the room for the umpteenth time, reeling around on the floor under yet more broken shelves and wardrobes, rallying to the rescue of his buddy, but instead just standing there watching Shelly gnaw off her own hand.
The transformation of the girls, one by one, into unrecognisable zombies is a bit too quick. A few minutes, maybe ten, and they're fully transformed, but does it matter? After a nice bit of dismemberment the two guys are the last men standing, true to nature, the strongest surviving until last. When Ash finds himself alone, especially now that his own girlfriend is fully zombified, he FINALLY starts to react instead of just freaking out.
And there you have it... Ash defends himself for a while, mysteriously not turning into a zombie like the others either, even though he's wounded, but slowly grasping the required 'dismemberment' logic. He doesn't quite fulfil the role of hero, but after bashing his girlfriend around with a giant telegraph pole and ultimately beheading her in a swishing spade-like manoeuvre, you've got to hand it to him for getting this far into the nightmare.
The spurting colours and gunk and the rather nasty plasticine stop-motion effects at the end don't really enhance the film, and the effects are all a bit slap-dash and splattered around, but I still enjoyed them.
I really wanted to give the film a '9', but I had more enjoyment writing these comments and re-living the past, laughing perhaps where I shouldn't, than actually getting scared by this film, so a point deducted for that.
It sounds like an awful film in many respects and granted, it was a better film on its original release, but it's a worthwhile piece of cinema with extra amounts of gore and lots of entertainment check boxes properly ticked.