Denzel Kicking Serious Bad-Dude-Ass as a Bad-Ass!

Rating: 8/10 (6 November 2017)

I sort of remember the mid-80's TV series The Equalizer, and I sort of remember watching a few episodes. I certainly don't remember the late Edward Woodward kicking serious bad-dude-ass like Denzel Washington does as Robert McCall!
First, the bad news. I know every bad-dude-ass-kicker looks good in the near-dark, lit only by a single 7k Xenon sitting high atop a Skyjack 25-yards yonder, with the pouring "rain" twinkling all around in the background and rolling off said bad-dude-ass-kicker's weathered face and squared jaw, but was it really necessary here? I mean, come on, it looked like it was done on purpose...and not in a good way. The scene I'm talking about could have been shot somewhere else to have the same impact. Worst. Shot. Ever.
More bad news: Open Memo to Hollywood: We get it, the Russians are the bad guys again but please stop, for the love of Igor, stop using non-Russian speaking actors to fill the roles needed - especially Henchmen and smaller speaking roles. We hate it when "Russians" are actually Americans pretending to be Russian after spending an hour with a dialect coach in their trailer before their scene (I'm looking at you-who-shall-not-be-named-but-starred-in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008). (Ok, so I exaggerated that a teeny bit, but her accent was terrible in that movie.) Anyway, I digress. For this movie, I'm talking about the horrible Russian spoken by ChloÃ« Grace Moretz. She plays an underage Russian prostitute with perfect English, but horrible Russian. I guess that's better than a horrible English accent and horrible Russian! I knew nothing about the plot of the movie and I didn't even know she was a Russian prostitute until the bad guys showed up! ChloÃ« is a great actress, and for her limited screen time did well...save for the parts where she needed to speak Russian! For the sake of credibility, another talented and beautiful female actress - from Russia - could have worked just fine. It's a small role with limited screen time (even ChloÃ«'s name on the one-sheet seemed like an afterthought.)
Now the good news: Denzel, belovedly referred to as "dedushka" (grandfather) by the Russians, and "Pops" by his co-workers at the local "Home Mart" (and that's another thing, why not make a little sponsorship cash and have Robert McCall work at Home Depot?) seriously kicks some bad-dude-ass! His character is a little OCD (I can relate) and quite inventive (oh, the things one can do with a corkscrew in under 19 seconds)!
I loved Denzel in Tony Scott's Man on Fire (2004). He was almost born to play these kinds of characters (I know, right). The Equalizer is a good action film that will keep your attention, but no gnarly 80's tunes to bring you back to the days when a middle aged Edward Woodward was playing the dedushka (hmm, the Russians were our enemies then too).