Flush this poop of a movie down the toilet

Rating: 1/10 (24 December 1998)

Beautiful? Powerful? Lovely? Memorable? Entertaining? Marvelous? Nope. Why are so many people attracted to this pointless, boring, contrived, and insensitive film? These characters weren't memorable! We have some chick cheating on her husband with some "Brit" (Yet he's not British, as we find out in the movie). So you can't really care about her. And then there's the "Brit," who's actually a spy, and this all takes place during WWII. It is all told as a story, from the point of view of an ill-mannered, burned up guy, blabbering on and on to the simple nurse caring for him. Later, some thumbless loser joins them, along with a couple guys in a rundown monastery. And they all feel sorry for themselves. Mix "The Breakfast Club", and "Ishtar," together, and you get this. This is what the entire movie consists of. Say good-bye to three wasted hours of your time. Say good-bye to 9 wasted Academy awards. And say good-bye to your possible interest in seeing any other movie. Finding out why this movie was raved about so much will be just as easy as understanding why the mediocrity of Hollywood has gone as far as it has.
Never before has a movie caused so much pain on the audience.
The purpose of a movie was to watch. But when you walk away with a headache, feeling sunburned, and angry at yourself because you just paid to get mentally tortured, you might just have to hire Human Rights Activists to investigate the Motion Picture Association of America.