An Oscar aberration- rather laughable movie about a puerile extramarital affair

Rating: 3/10 (26 March 2017)

The extramarital affair of two rich pompous and pretentious people who indulge in their own delights whilst others fulfil their duty to the war on the frontline, is the centre to this story. They are an utterly boring pair, especially the English patient himself, who proudly proclaims "I do not bargain (with the local market merchants)" in a disdainful tone. They are a construct always speaking as if they are reciting pretentious poetry. The historical chronicles of Herodotus are referred to by the pair repeatedly as if to remind the viewer that these people are oh so learned. When playing spin the bottle with others singing funny songs and having fun around a campfire, the female protagonist (the only woman in the company of about 5 men) recites a boring story of Gyges lusting for Candaules and her nakedness. That's when we first glimpse her narcissism and flirtatious personality.
The most preposterous part is when our poetic lovers are stranded in the desert due to a plane crash involving the grieving husband. As she is injured, and her husband lies dead, her besotted lover leaves her alone with a flashlight and her precious Herodotus in a cave in the middle of the desert and walks to get help. Yes, that's right. With an ankle fracture her fate is sealed when he leaves her alone, whilst he embarks on a 3 day journey through the desert to return with a car. He is unsuccessful (there is a war after all). After a substantial period of time, he returns to the cave. Her body would be either desiccated or bloated, yet she is shown as fresh as the moment he left her when he lifts her in his arms and puts her in a plane again. Taking off, he crashes again in the desert and is burned to near death, but taken by passing Arabs to a hospital (through the desert again). A nurse, abandons her duties to wounded soldiers to feed and administer morphine repeatedly to this one selfish man for a substantial period of time, and she is portrayed as an angel.
This movie sentimentalises and romanticises war. The love story is puerile and gross. I think lovers of cinematography might like it.