Yet Another Boring Experiment in Pseudointellectualism

Rating: Null/10 (26 September 1999)

To be brief (unlike the movie) the english patient was hollow and uninteresting. The people who rave about it are just flattering themselves by pretending to be fine arts aficionados. Besides being too long (160 minutes), english patient is riddled with chronological inaccuracies (which is fine, but then why did the writers limit themselves with historical constraints if they weren't going to adhere to them?) and story gaps (even the most charlatan of filmgoers wouldn't dare claim to have understood most of the plot). Ralph Fiennes is not a talented actor, even his Schindler's List performance was lacking, but he somehow blends into this mediocre film. And the love scenes?? Please. Aside from a few cheap beaver shots of Kristin Scott Thomas, they were just recast versions of The Young and the Restless. I never tell people not to see a movie, no matter how bad it is, but don't be surprised if you find yourself checking your watch every two minutes when viewing this one.