Jon Monsarrat review: brooding is boring & unsexy

Rating: 4/10 (27 November 2004)

The English Patient is a love story between two people who have no chemistry. The guy is brooding, offensive, socially inept. The gal is cheating on her husband. I just don't buy it as true love.
Unfortunately, without the romance, the film is seriously slow-paced and melancholy. I didn't come to care enough about the characters to really be engaged. I have to admit I stopped midway.
I appreciate an intelligent film with something deep to say about life, but not when it's rambling. There are a lot of arty people who will disagree. Maybe it's the sets, or the costuming, or the music that you like. But is that really fair, if the plot's no good? Try Enemy at the Gates instead which is kick-ass. Or Lawrence of Arabia.
Who should see this film:
-- People who love romance stories
-- Arty types. You have a real racket going in making the rest of us feel inferior.
-- Brooding geeks who speak in a monotone and get all the gals anywya
I'll give The English Patient a losing-its-touch-with-the-common-folk 4 out of 10. Sorry.