Zounds!

Rating: 1/10 (12 March 1999)

This is one of those movies where you walk out of the theater and say "WHAT?", only this time it's a "WHAT?", and a hearty bunch of laughs, because it took home a heck of a lot of Oscars. Best picture winner of 1994? Forrest Gump. Best Picture of 1995? Braveheart. Best Picture of 1996? You know, if I didn't post this movie review I probably would never had guessed. Isn't that funny?
If this movie is aimed to the so-called "Intellectual Crowd," then why hasn't that bunch summed up an "Intellectual Reason" as to why they liked it? I've noticed a lot of comments in the Northen European hemisphere giving this a good review, I can't decide whether it's actually that or if I'm surrounded by a bunch of comments by the same person liking The English Patient.
I was not expecting car chases, explosions, or action at all. I was just expecting a decent story about how innocence is stolen by warfare and evil, and how two people are separated from such. I interpreted the opposite. The film was about two bad people, and how one big bad thing keeps them away from something they want. In film, you could cheer for the villains when they're the protagonist, but when they're not interesting, it's quite difficult. On top of that, it was just an all around boring movie. This was the case for the English Patient. The only thing it proved was that Ralph Fiennes tops as being a #1 self-centered pretty boy.
If you ever get recommendations to see this, and have not already seen it, my kind favor is that you ask the "suggestor" why it may be good. I could guarantee you will get an answer like "Beautiful, Brilliant, and Great." When you get an answer like that, you will understand they don't want to go into specific detail. (this is the most I've heard about the movie so far) BEWARE!