Bad news, good news

Rating: 1/10 (20 August 2006)

"The bad news: If you watch this film, you will be asked to endure 90 minutes of 6 shallow, rude, self-centered, bratty, terminally talkative women doing stupid things and running around hysterically in a cave with a lot of blind, wingless bat-like humanoids attacking them. The good news: All but one of these annoying characters are lost miles down in the cave, presumably eaten by the aforementioned cave dwellers, and the sole survivor goes insane from the experience; so at least there's a happy ending! When will directors and writers learn that horror movie characters must project depth and elicit sympathy? (i.e. Lt. Ripley?) If you don't care about the people involved, you won't care whether they all die in the dark or not. All mindless, self-centered, crude, shallow characters should be buried in a cave! This film is a sad comment on where the horror genre has been going lately. So many producers and directors merely assume that the audience will all be Jason/Freddy fans and proceed to pander to that base element. My advice? Just back away slowly from the ticket booth and go rent "Skeleton Key" on DVD."