spend your money on something enjoyable like toilet paper

Rating: 1/10 (4 August 2006)

this film is really tedious most of it is this boring ass exposition about these grrrrl types who . . . after lots of grrrl bonding and interminable crawling around in this dark cave where you can hardly see a thing finally encounter these creepy crawlies they then fight in totally chaotic overly fast speed-ed up sequences that offer very little to the eye or brain to process....
the biggest thrill in the film is when the sort of punky lesbiana style grrrl (of course she's not a lesbian, she just looks very much like one) gets a compound fracture. fun.
plot hinges on Asian dragon grrrl whose hubris and licentiousness is everyone else's and her own undoing, respectively. it also makes little sense when she accidentally smites one of the bitches that that one in her death rattle warns the main grrrl "don't trust her! she did this to me!" and then reveals this corny piece of jewelry that goes to show something much worse, that was so obvious from the beginning of the film: dragon grrrl had been schtupfing main character's man!!!! g i v e m e a b r e a k
predictably the ending involves oriental grrrrl making a reappearance a la Carrie and all the shitty movies that have imitated the ending of Carrie since the post Carrie era
absolute crap and the grrls are so indistinguishable from one another. how were these grrrls supposed to know each other anyway, a pretty motley crew of identical women with a smattering of accents did they go to school together? did they meet at an "outward bound" thingie? we are never told how this international cast of clones ever got together.
it's just such a bore. . . I just kept thinking " I wish it were over, wish there were not ushers at the entrance to every door in this particular multiplex" total piece of garbage.
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ALSO, yes the poster is cool, and a total ripoff of a famous piece of art, and it made me really curious to see the movie. What really bites is that the image had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FILM. I was expecting something much more interesting indeed lured by false advertising of a ripoff design. If only the film had ripped off the idea instead of only the poster!
btw It appears that the film had a different ending at some point from reading these reviews which seem to suggest that the woman never made it out of the cave. The original ending couldn't have been worse than the current one, in which abruptly the film seems to say "ok, you get to leave now, the film's over" I was more thrilled to escape the film than the character could have been to suddenly find the exit that after descending what seems like 5 miles is accessible by a little scramble of about 35 seconds. they decided to go for the "happy plus carrie" ending. as if anybody could care what happens either way. . .
And for all of you slagging British film it's not all bad. Wait till Andrea Arnold's movie comes out!!!!