Creepy Crawlers

Rating: 6/10 (8 September 2011)

We begin with some adventurous, athletic women whitewater rafting. They drive away with a bored-looking man who drives into a head-on mishap. Some brown poles come out of nowhere and cause our travelers body-piercing damage. Ouch! Our leading lady wakes up in the hospital, mighty terrified, imagining a "Happy Birthday Jessica" cake is delivered. As it turns out, she's Shauna Macdonald (as Sarah). This pre-credits prologue doesn't make a lot of sense if you're looking for characterization, obviously, but writer/director Neil Marshall does skillfully foreshadow coming events in a technical sense...
The Accent is on Gore...
One year later in the US Appalachian Mountains, Ms. Macdonald and gal pals Natalie Mendoza (as Juno), Alex Reid (as Beth), Saskia Mulder (as Rebecca), Nora-Jane No one (as Holly) and MyAnna Buring (as Sam) drink beer and decide to explore local caves. The new stand-out is Ms. No one, who is introduced as Ms. Mendoza's punky "protégée." Got it no, guess again. In the caves, we learn the risky trip is organized by Mendoza, to get medication-popping and fright-proned Macdonald out of her funk (expect ungratefulness). Glistening with sweat, the grunting women have it out with creepy cave inhabitants...
****** The Descent (3/11/05) Neil Marshall ~ Shauna Macdonald, Natalie Mendoza, Alex Reid, Saskia Mulder