The Descent....into plot (ahem...pot) holes

Rating: 7/10 (13 November 2005)

Don't get me wrong, the movie is enjoyable enough. But it fell into that trap which more and more films do these days, of insulting your intelligence. Some might say that you shouldn't look too closely at such forms of entertainment, but at the same time, if you ignore the mistakes, then won't that just encourage film-makers to make even more shoddy films? But as to The Descent....first the Good: Believable cave sets. Unlike this years' other offering, The Cave, the sets here enhance the claustrophobic feel of being underground. There is lots of wriggling around and squeezing through tiny passages and the vast vaulted caverns are (for the most part) absent.
The Bad: Call me old fashioned, but when I'm told "These creatures evolved underground", I expect them to make use of more than just the sense of hearing. Sure, they may be blind, but does that mean they can't smell either? Or feel the heat of a burning torch when they are sat right next to it? Or, good God! Simply reach out and explore a suspected victims hidey-hole with their mits? The Ugly: The last fifteen minutes or so. Down to the final two survivors, one of whom has (entirely by accident) killed another party member and the other who (has found out about this killing, but not HOW it happened) and they both square off. Two against untold numbers of Gollum-wannabees. So what is the logical thing for them to do? Put aside their differences and work together to escape? Or maybe quickly fill each other in on what happened with regard to that killing, then scarper? No! The obvious thing to do is for Miss Self-Righteous to ice-pick the other girl in the leg and leave her for the Golllums to devour. Mmmm.....good cinema! And I won't go into the "twist" at the end. Just switch off when blondie climbs out of the hole and pretend she lives happily ever after. God knows I hate Hollywood happy endings, but in this case it's preferable to the psycho-drivel that follows.
Of course, you know the "bad" girl had to die, because of unresolved issues from the very start of the film. It's not so much telegraphed as spammed in your face right from the off. And "bad" girl tricks them all into thinking they are at another cave too...ooooh! bad! bad girl! Strange then that, by the end, I was rather hoping she'd survive and not the other one. Oh well! So much for wishes.
Comparison to The Cave: The Cave - schlocky monster movie that knows what it is. The Descent - tries to be "real" and "gritty" but lets itself down with inexplicable plot-turns and nonsense.
Summary: Cave scenes - good, cast - reasonable, monsters - not too bad, plot - foolish, ending - diarrhea.