Should you bother? Not really.

Rating: 2/10 (16 November 2005)

Here it is, the film people unanimously have referred to as "The best British horror-film", "the most intense....", bla, bla, bla. It is so nice then to be the voice of blasphemy, assuring you that none of the praise mentioned above merits any kind of attention. Neil Marshalls previous outing, "Dog Soldiers", certainly wasn't anything to brag about either, and isn't it strange that this film which has been revered by so many folks, ultimately turns out to be such a disappointment? Not at all, for this little "goodie" is an annoying crowd-pleaser, and to please the dull and dumb mass, it is important that you make sure that it will fail to interest those with, what should I say, eclectic taste buds. When that is said, I'm painfully aware that I'm not living in a vacuum, and in the hunt for new and possibly interesting horror, I'm sadly forced to, now and then, to consult the reviews. Well, as so often is the case, bad, bad mistake! The film starts off well enough, with a fairly surprising car-accident. Nice burrowing there. And from then on, get prepared for a pack of intensely provoking,oh so tough, hags. From the get go, you can clearly see the talentlessness run amok here. The dialogue is clichéd, badly scripted, and on top of it all, you have six individuals better off serving coffee at a diner. Now and then, mainly in the more dramatic sequences, they tend to show a bit of worth in the "believable, realistic-acting department", but I tell you, for the most part, you have to deal with extremely irritating, non-stop, shallow and false dialogue( Notice especially the wonderful acting when they are heading towards the cave. Hilarious!) Of course, in any horror film you will want the cattle sent to the slaughter, but with these "brave girls" on board, I assure you, you will want to see their innards wrecked, the slaughter to commence in a split second. Characters the worth of cardboard( Particularly Rebecca with her mongoloid, thin voice!). And what about the legendary, breathtaking, claustrophobic intensity the film is supposed to convey?! Not present, naught, nil, zero. What about the cave-cannibals then? Fairly nice looks, but nothing more. Gore? Should have been more explicit. And yeah, before I forget, it seems that Mr. Marshall has contracted the Follywood disease that forces him to make his actors act all tough and make smart comments in the face of antropophagous terror. Vomit!! My two points go to the little amount of gore, and the little twist at the very end; nice to see that the happy escape was a flight of fancy. Hi, hi, hi!!!