de/s/cent crap

Rating: 2/10 (29 June 2007)

I read a pretty good review on this movie - let's call that to a first approximation - so I decided to watch it. Okay, maybe I'm not that much into horror pieces, but this was something really bad.
Let's see the plot. Bunch of cool girls (you know, doing extreme sports 'n' stuff) get together to explore a 'brand new' cave system. They go down, walk a bit and then slaughter. Frankly speaking I expected some sort of tricks or anything after a fair start: husband dies, daughter also, thriller elements, blabla, after remarks like "this was not in the book" someone may know something, but forget it, there is simply nothing, absolutely zero, in addition to that the incoherence of the memories with the main stripe is painful.
Characters. We cannot talk much about development, 'cause their guts start to run down on some other guys' throats too fast. Neither isn't too difficult to predict who was/were gonna come out of the hole. The tremendous screenwriter made some attempts to stir that one and only fascinating story line again, he badly failed I must say.
Creatures. This is even more terrible. Ugly freaks with a supposed-to-be scary (I would rather say annoying) scream and overshaped audition, not being able to see or smell (or touch, though if it comes to hearing then they bite necks quite accurately). I'd summarize (means repeat) the explanation: "They have developed down here isolated, without any daylight". Wow, please. Gimme a break to place a turd in my pants.
From the moment the massacre started I took a look on my watch every five minutes and tried to figure out the average timing of the next member of the group altering into victuals, a perfect activity while a frightening film.
So there you go: if you enjoy checking out Gollum-like creatures running around and killing people in a lame way or you're a braindead seeking for absolutely no cogitation, then go ahead, otherwise stay far away. I've given a two for the only reason it is short enough, thus I was able to watch till the end.