It's hard to complain about a movie that you didn't pay to watch...

Rating: 3/10 (27 December 2006)

... But given that I like the horror genre, let me complain a little.
It don't make no sense that a film like this gets a 7.4 average rating when there are other films that are far better with lesser scores. I would have expected a 4 or a 5.
So lets see, the caves were realistic. The plot didn't really matter because you were there to see people trapped in caves with monsters. They did remind me of the LotR Gollum character, but thankfully weren't so comical. The initial vague images were nice.
I felt creepy from being trapped, yes my palms sweat. They did that good. But the acting was only as tolerable as a typical teen slash movie, and the ass-kicking was just plain dumb. I really wish movie makers (even the ones outside of Hollywood) would get away from this notion that you have to eventually empower the audience for them to be satisfied. I mean, jeez, everybody wants to be Rambo! C'mon!
So why did the film get a weirdly even across-the-subpopulations census?
This is a booby film, and that brought my score down from a 6 or 8. Let me repeat this: I'm a big gay guy who wishes they'd make films like this with big strapping hunks (not those pretty boys that seem to be the stars in all films now) in skimpy shorts and tank tops, all sweaty and hairy, trapped together, underground, all of whom cannot act. Heck, I'd give it a 10 if it had the right guys!
And rightly so, I've lowered my vote to a reasonable 3. I am resisting trying to counter- balance the straight guy's vote by giving it a 1 because it deserves a better score for effort. Go put Bill Goldberg and some other equally strapping hunks in a film like this, no chicks to fight over, and I'll give it two thumbs up like everyone else, okay?