Afraid of the cinema ? YOU WILL BE

Rating: 1/10 (9 July 2005)

I went to see this after it received 5 star from a very well known and trusted film magazine , what can i say . If you find the idea of a band of annoying women seeking redemption for one of the troop by climbing down a few caves then this is up your street . The creatures are a lift from this years Creep and by all accounts are related to bats , i think that their sonar is on the fritz though as they can't tell the difference between flesh and rock , they also have no sense of touch and cannot feel heat .Are you scared yet ? i know that i was but for all the wrong reasons , this film shows what a child can achieve in a couple of hours if he runs out of colouring books and decides to find another use for his wax crayon .I can't explain just how bad this film is , I hope this isn't all the British film industry has to offer or we are doomed . All in all this film reaches the heady grade of a bag of pooh , in fact several . Kid next time you want a use for the crayon do something more constructive like eating it or sending a letter to Santa .