Why does everyone love this movie?

Rating: 2/10 (11 September 2006)

I've been racking my brains and I just can't think.
I don't think I can write a totally comprehensive review, because.
1.I can't remember very much, it was that good.
and
2. I found that staring at my hands more interesting than this movie.
What can I say? Let's look at this film from a few angles.
1. Suspense. This is where the film gained one of it's stars. Certainly, there was one moment of suspense I recall, but it was totally ruined by
2. The crap monster things. Albino flesh eaters? Surely you can't go wrong. Actually you can, by making them out of a not very convincing suit and a group of people from the worst acting school around. Or maybe the gutter. Who knows?
3. The lighting. It's a cave, so it's dark. Great. No complaints here. 1 star.
4. The actors. From the Carmen Electra school of horror acting. Doesn't matter if you can't act love, just try to look pretty. Sadly, some of them fail at this as well.
5. The plot. I can't quite work this one out. There's a gang of women, and they go caving....then they get attacked by monsters that weren't explained at all....no, I'm still at a loss I'm afraid.
6. The "scares". I admit it, I jumped once. one of them accidentally kills another one. However, this seemingly good scare is then thrown into utter confusion by the remaining women not trusting the one who ACCIDENTALLY killed her friend. It was a clear accident, the friend crept up on her when they were under attack. Frankly she deserved to die. Otherwise, minimum. As I've said, bad monsters make for no scares.
7. The weird ending....I can't figure THIS one out either. She escapes.....gets to the jeep.....gets in, and the woman who was accidentally killed is there. Bang, it was a dream and she's still in the cave. Fair enough. However then it get's even weirder, with the one survivor looking up and seeing her daughter with a cake....there's no sudden push to get out for the daughter after this, in case you were thinking that, no, the film just ends.... (ADDENDUM) I remembered why there was no push. The daughter was already dead, which in fact makes me even MORE confused (and bored) by this scene.
I was left thinking "What the hell was that?" after I saw this, and waited for the reviews trashing it. Only none came....Most critics loved it, meaning that most critics were on acid when they watched this god-awful piece of schlock.