Like comparing a brick with a samurai sword

Rating: 4/10 (16 October 2006)

Would I have rated this film higher if I had not seen the HK original "Infernal Affairs"? Probably - but when you have, it's like comparing a brick with a samurai sword.
Set in the gritty underbelly of Boston, "The Departed" is a story of two men working undercover on opposites sides of the law. DiCaprio plays Billy Costigan, a graduate State Trooper handpicked by Cpt Queenan (Martin Sheen) to infiltrate crime boss Frank Costello's (the manic Jack Nicholson) milk-bar raidin', computer-chip and drug dealin' "organisation" of what appears to be about 5 or 6 thugs. The sixth or maybe seventh guy in the gang is Colin Sullivan (Matt Damon), whom Costello has groomed in his own image since childhood (stricly in a criminal sense - two Jack Nicholsons running your neighbourhood would be too scary. Unless the other Jack was only 1/8th the size (MiniJack), in which case it would be quite sad/funny. Together they would turn away from their life of crime to star in their own music video about building castles in the skywell, in either case, there goes the neighbourhood), to be his mole on the force.
The ingredients are there for a tense and thrilling cops n robbers drama. Instead, The Departed ends up as a blunt, violent film with comedy where's it's not intended. Its main problem is an utter lack of finesse. Mak Siu Fai's screenplay led you to see for yourself the increasing sense of frustration, isolation and fear of the good cop (played superbly by the excellent Tony Leung) - much like Nicholas Cage's tormented good guy trapped in a bad guy's body in Face Off. Scorsese meanwhile, needed DiCaprio to literally yell and whinge about how frustrated, isolated and fearful he felt, because if he didn't, I would've missed it. I mean, what loneliness? What isolation? If ever he felt the onset of undercover angst, he had the comfort of jumping in the sack with Damon's girlfreud or going to Cpt Queenan's house for supper and a chat - try working in a cubicle 8 hours a day. Sure, the prospect being found out as a spy is pretty rough, but if your boss is Jack Nicholson, he's just as likely to grind you into mincemeat for spilling coffee on his tie.
Subtlety is a dying art. Case in point is a scene where the bad cop shows off his policing chops by conning a crook into giving up his associates. When confronted with the impasse in IA, Andy Lau walks into the the room without missing a beat. Calmly, coolly, smoothly, he feeds the guy a line or two and then hook and sinker as well. In TD, when confronted with the same uncooperative thug, Damon looks a little confounded, but lo and behold! He spies with his little eye a mysterious briefcase belonging to no one that just so happens to be lying around. He then furrows his brow to indicate thinking. Finally he says to his chums "I know! I'll take that mysterious briefcase belonging to no one but that just happens to be lying around, go in there and pretend I'm the guy's lawyer and trick him in to giving us the information we need!"
The other big problem is some of the casting, which means some of the acting. Leo rings in an emotional but always believable performance and I think a little gold man is probably well due him at some stage. Nicholson is Nicholson. The choice of Martin Sheen as Cpt Queenan however, is a little odd. This character (played with heroism and wit by Anthony Wong in IA) should be to Nicholson's Costello what Professor X is to Magneto. Instead Sheen appears blatantly impotent in contrast with his arch nemesis.
The inclusion of Marky Mark as the tough talking nutjob Sgt Dignam was as much a mystery as the briefcase in the interrogation room, though as comic relief, you can't help but laugh at his foul-mouthed antics in spite of yourself. Then there is Alec Baldwin. Unfortunately, I've not been able to take him seriously since Team America - unfortunate, because that wasn't his fault. Fortunately, I can now not take him seriously on his own merit. According to Mr Baldwin's Book of Acting, senior police officers always, except when playing golf, default to an arms akimbo, chest or gut stuck out position (the more senior you are, the lower the body part to be stuck out) and crack one liners. To make matters worse, he lent a copy of his book to Marky Mark, who compounded the error by reading it. There is a scene in which they are standing together in a room, BOTH with arms akimbo, cracking one liners and giving "the brief" to the junior officers. Maybe it's just me, but one guy with his hands on his hips is fine- he commands respect, either because he is the boss or Hercules. But more than one just looks ridiculous. I suppose that's why The Three Amigos were so funny.
There are other moments of unintentional comedy you should discover for yourself. Be sure to invite along a friend who actually speaks Cantonese to watch that scene with the "tough" Chinese gangsters.
Many critics have hailed this as Scorcese's comeback blockbuster, and the box office might even give you the numbers to proof it. As a movie in its own right, it certainly is not without merits. But compared with the original, The Departed is dumbed down, heavy-handed and completely unnecessary. I realise Hollywood is starting to run out of ideas - but why remake an excellent movie when the ones that need redoing are the bad ones?