Pretty awful...I have to say, I hated it

Rating: 3/10 (20 February 2007)

I'm giving The Departed 3 stars pretty much for getting the film in the camera, and those cameras' ultimate direction by one of the greats, Martin Scorsese. But I'm being nice doing that, because this movie is really quite an awful thing to deal with. Awful to watch; awful to hear; awful to experience. Just plain awful.
Where do I begin? First, the script: it's DOA. I've not seen the original movie The Departed is based on, but apparently the script is tighter than a flea's a**. If so, The Departed does indeed vary from the original in that regard - not Swiss cheese-style holes, but not exactly seamless and tight either. Second, the cell phones. I wanted to laugh out loud in inappropriate places when a cell phone in the movie went off for the 1,000th time. Laughable, and utterly without grace, and if you hated cell phones before, you'll really despise them after The Departed. Third, I didn't care about any character enough to care about what happened to them, whether maimed or killed or something in between. That's not good, you know? That's just about the worst thing you can say about a given story in general/film in particular, but The Departed has not-caring in bucketfuls when it comes to character. Take your pick, try to adhere to the character's base, see if you give a crap whether they're blown to smithereens or not. You won't.
Jack Nicholson was ludicrously over the top - a Caligula for the ages who has (possibly) lost all respect for the acting form. Am I saying he's lost his acting chops? No; hardly. I'm saying that respect for the craft of acting has gone into utter and complete hiding. He treated his role in The Departed as a raft of pleasure built solely for his riding, a king both on screen and off, and I could care less, normally, except that Jack's character suffers due to Jack's excesses. And who wins when that happens?