I don't mean to by cynical, but....

Rating: 5/10 (3 November 2006)

i went for The Departed yesterday and i think Hollywood is just trying to cash in on us, ripping off a great Hong Kong triad story but not doing it any justice.
being a huge fan of Infernal Affairs (i've seen the trilogy tons of times), i've been looking forward to seeing the Western take on the story. The Departed is a combination of Infernal Affairs I and II, with some minor tweaks here and there to make the film gel together as one. so, a good plot, good story directed by Academy Award-winning director Martin Scorsese and starring talented actors like Leornardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon and Jack Nicholson; i was somewhat hopeful that it would be a great movie. i was, of course, disappointed. it's nowhere near the Hong Kong version. nowhere near. okay, the plot was close enough (though not quite), but that's not what i'm talking about. you can say that i am bias, and i probably am, but...
okay, first let me tell you what i like about the movie.
1) it stars Leornardo DiCaprio, and he has finally stepped away from the pretty boy category; he's now very much a man, and a very dishy one at that. i've been a fan since Catch Me If You Can. well, all his movies are good, actually. save Titanic, of course. Titanic... *upchucks*.
2) there's Jack Nicholson, who is amusing, as usual.
3) Overall, it's not really all that bad. I wouldn't say that it has completely wasted my 2 and 1/2 hours. Perhaps, if you combine all the good bits together, only about 1 was wasted.
err, right. that's it.
now let me tell you what i don't like about the movie.
1) even though i like him, let's face it, Leornardo DiCaprio is NO Tony Leung. his performance was nowhere as intense, nowhere as electrifying.
2) Matt Damon is even worse than Andy Lau. i've never liked Andy Lau's acting, he's rather like deadwood. so i think it is saying a lot when i say that Matt Damon is worse. not much expression. i say, stick to The Bourne Trilogy. Jason Bourne's supposed to be rather expressionless, so he's doing very well in that.
3) Jack Nicholson... okay, i've got to give him some credit. he fares the nearest to the original. but when i say nearest... there's still miles apart from Eric Tsang.
4) Martin Sheen. Now, this is where i'm really, really upset. He plays Anthony Wong's character, but did he do it any justice? a big N.O. in Infernal Affairs, i love Anthony Wong. he is just so cool. i burst into tears when Anthony Wong died; he crashed onto the taxi and it was cut to a close-up of his face, and then even closer as the focused on his eyes and they were still open, they seem to pierce into yours, filled with regret... they tell you a story.
But not only was Martin Sheen a bore (his character was stolen by Mark Warlberg, who shouldn't even be in the movie, you cannot divide Anthony Wong's character into two~!), i felt no connection with him, and his death was also very insignificant. he landed with a dull thud, there were no heart-wrenching close ups (heck, you can barely see his face) , and i went, "riiiiiiiiiiiiight. so he died. do i care? phffft. NEXT~!!" 5) the cinematography sucks. no stylish takes from top, no zooming ins, NO SUPER COOL ALL AROUND DOLLY SHOTS, PULL-FOCUS, PANS, CUT AWAYS OR DOLLY ZOOMS (AAARGH~! DOLLY SHOOTS AND PULL-FOCUS ARE VERY IMPORTANT!!!), nothing. one of the reasons why Infernal Affairs is so engaging is because of the cinematography. a lot of emphasizing on the intensity of the moments and its characters, Infernal Affairs is the epitome of coolness personified and mega movie magic moments. The Departed? Just.Not.Cool.Enough.
6) the Chinese people in the story. they are SUPPOSEDLY FROM MAINLAND CHINA, but THEY DON'T SPEAK MANDARIN, they speak CANTONESE??? okay, so maybe they are from Guangdong or something, but THEIR CANTONESE S**K either way. those actors are obviously Americans, they have VERY HEAVY American ACCENTS. and it was mixed up with a bit of mandarin, they actors themselves were obviously confused with their own language. I CAN SPEAK CANTONESE A LOT BETTER, and that's saying something. seriously, they should either:- a) find non-American Chinese actors who speaks Cantonese properly; or b) DON'T say that they are from mainland China. say they are from the local Chinatown or something.
Martin Scorsese definitely did not do enough homework. really, in those 10 minutes (which seemed like eternity) i didn't know whether to laugh or cry. as a Chinese, i felt insulted and violated. also, this has spurred me to start speaking more in Cantonese from now on.
the verdict? i would say that The Departed is a good movie if Infernal Affairs had not been made. this is one example where, there are just some things that us Asians know better. but do watch the movie, just so that you can have a great time comparing it to the original, like what i just did. after that, have an Infernal Affairs Trilogy marathon back home and say, "see? this is better." every now and then. it gives you a great sense of well-being.