Diddy Mao!

Rating: 10/10 (2 December 2005)

Question: Why did Michael go back to get Nick? Hey Mr. C.
When Michael returned from Vietnam, he was still incomplete. He hesitated to go back to his friends without Nick, because he felt bad for returning without him. He knew he would be faced with many questions and congratulations, and Nick would not. This made him feel guilty of something, and lonely. He had survived a horrible experience with his friends, and when he returns home, they do not come with him. Naturally, he would want somebody to relate to, and he has no one. The only people that understand him are either dead, or far away. When he is with Linda, he even feels disconnected because she loved Nick before they had left, and now he feels like a mere replacement. He knows that without at least talking to Nick again he'll never have the same life he once did. He doesn't want to let go of his friendship even though his hope is nearly lost until he meets with Steven. Michael feels obligated to find Nick and return him to his home. It's obvious from a viewer's point of view, things will never be the same between the friends, but Michael has nothing left to do, so he attempts to rescue Nick anyway. It is ALL he can do. When Michael finds Nick and tries to convince him to return, he truly realizes his friend his dead. Unlike Steven who was happy to see Michael, Nick is stoic and hardly even acknowledges him. Though Michael still has hope now that he is right there looking at Nick, he still knows in the back of his mind that his friend will never be the same. But still he tries to remind him of their friendship. Nick finally says , "One shot." Michael's hope is at its peak then, as he is almost joyous to see that even a little piece of Nick's personality remains. But he also knows Nick could be going along with it humorously as he has been taking drugs and it seems by the look on his face there is nothing going on inside his head. Although Michael is ruined to see Nick kill himself, I think he is relieved he at least knows now what happened to his friend, and can put the search to rest. I think Michael would have been worse off to not find Nick, and continue with his life full of guilt and hesitation. Although Michael does have a life to return to back home, I believe he wants to lose at the table to Nick. He feels he will be better off dead, rather than living with the fact that his friend has died a ruined and forgotten soul. I think that Michael would want to die in front of Nick so he could see the death of his friend. It may be the only chance of getting Nick to "wake up". I know for myself, I would not want to walk away from that table alone. There is nothing more sad than seeing a friend die in front of you when that person is the only one left to relate to. I wouldn't WANT to die, but I certainly wouldn't want to walk away alone and burdened with the thought of losing my friends.
I thought this scene was done very well, as it really puts the viewer in the movie. I thought the saddest part was that both Nick AND Michael had died in a small, dark room in Hell. It was truly the place where they had changed, and it's also the place where they die. The lack of "recognition" I feel toward Nick and Michael's experiences makes this movie. In reality, there are millions of people watching the film and seeing this happening and feeling for the characters. But when I am pulled into the movie, and have no knowledge of others watching, I feel a strong sense of reality. I get the feeling that I am right there with Michael and Nick and the biggest loss is that nobody else will know or understand what has happened. I try to think if the story were real and well-known then it might not be as sad. I truly think the most depressing aspect is the fact that nobody back home will know. I don't think Michael would express his full feelings but rather suppress them and let them destroy his character. And again, the saddest part is that nobody will ever know.
If I had to handwrite this, I would have never rambled so much...
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