"It blowed up reeeeeel gooood!"

Rating: 4/10 (6 June 2004)

look...whaddya really need to know here, anyway? you saw the teasers on TV...wanna take a wild guess on how this plays out? yeah, i went to see this turkey but i plead guilty with an explanation...i'm sort of a sucker for this kind of mindless drivel, and every once in a while i just wanna see martians blow up the white house, or ghidra and rodan destroy tokyo, or a rogue asteroid hit a starbucks...so i plopped down my $9.25 to see a big wave and a coupla c.g.i. twisters and some rather large ice cubes at my local cineplex...mission accomplished, ya know?
truth be told...i already know what i'm in for at this kind of flick and if you serve me up just a little bit of comedy in the middle of the special effects (a la Buscemi, Willis and Peter Stormare in "Armageddon") i'm a happy puppy...unfortunately, this sucker is pretty humorless...and considering they hired an actor who's a dead-ringer for Dick Cheney to play the vice president, they missed the opportunity to have a whole lotta fun here...so you're basically here for the f-x, kiddies...what can i tell you?..enjoy the big wave and the tornados and try to forget you just saw 'em in "Perfect Storm" and "Twister" last year...