Hey...this movie has CGI too!

Rating: Null/10 (2 June 2004)

Ah, summer. When a young man's fancies lightly turn to BLOCKBUSTERS. Which brings us to The Day After Tomorrow. Following gamely in the hallowed footsteps of such time honored natural disaster flicks as The Perfect Storm, Twister, Earthquake, Volcano, Volcano II (a.k.a. Dante's Peak), Driving Miss Daisy, and maybe a thousand others, this movie proves that science is a bunch of hooey. And that you really don't need to have a great personal vision in making film. It just impedes popcorn intake.
This film makes the viewer all to aware that the Earth is an evil menace which should be stamped out as soon as possible. This has nothing to do with the subject matter, but the film itself. Entertaining, yes. It does deliver the sort of thrilling adventure that it promises in the trailer, while at the same time managing to wind up being a public service announcement on the dangers of your can of hairspray. This film does have you rooting, if in confusion, for the main characters. Laced with rather well timed gags and jokes, mingled with jokes that hit you like anvils and make you feel about as happy (Mexico closing the boarders...CLANG), it allows you to like the characters without really caring.
The non-ugly Quaid (Jack Hall) works with the flat script as best he can, delivering lines but pretty much just winds up saying "we're in trouble," "I've got to find my son," and "Oh my God." His son (and America's next Tobey Maguire) Jake Gyllenhall, is one of those run-of-the-mill genius, shy, yet capable of dealing with the end of the world in total stride characters.
Against my better judgment, I bought it, and most of the other characters too. The problem is how these characters work in the plot, which is almost the template for the summer blockbuster (hell, Independence Day boy made it)
The wolves, for example. We saw it a mile away, in fact we saw it before we got in the theater. The fact that every character seemed to be utterly unaware of the biblical cataclysm which had suddenly rolled over the world. The fact that Jack Hall's meeting on environmental issues takes place right before the disaster he prophesied takes place. The arrogant politicians poo-pooing the entire thing. The film's demi-heroine wading back into the flood for a purse because of PASSPORTS - which is good, because you never know when Immigration will start hounding at you after the apocalypse. A gentle reminder: if there's a hundred foot wall of water, complete with refuse from the Hudson and East River spilling towards you at a hundred miles an hour and you realize you've left something behind...let it go, sweetie.
Anyone notice that a leitmotif of Roland Emmerich's films is that he hates New York and L.A.? He can't leave them alone. First it's aliens, then bad weather. Word of advice: don't let him in either city, he'll probably start smashing things with a hammer.
In any event, amidst all the noise and special effects, there is one dignified moment with Ian Holm and his cohorts in Scotland. However, any sympathy for them is shattered when the movie decides to absolutely forget that they ever existed. What about Adrian Lester's kid? They could've said something about him. And the President of the U.S., whose death is greeted with mild apathy most of the time. Loose ends galore. And please don't try and put a timeline on this film. Just assume that whenever there's a cut between scenes, time passes.
Still, the film teaches an important lesson that exists in all of Emmerich's films: when something bad happens, even if it's a nuclear blast from an alien ship or typhoons or -150 degree ice, the best way to save yourself from it is find a door of some sort, go through it, and shut it at the last second. And also stop warming the globe. Don't look at me, I take the subway.
Bring a girlfriend to see this, but if you do, make sure she's loud and is capable of doing a play-by-play of the film, and make sure you're sitting next to me. In addition, trust and obey your neighborhood scientists. Worship them, pay homage to them at the university of your choice. Amen.