dumb

Rating: Null/10 (29 May 2004)

there were two specials effects i liked. the capitol records building being torn apart in LA and the water flooding into NY city. that was it. and i saw that in the trailer. well okay Sela Ward and that old guy from the first Lord of the Rings movie who sent the kids off on their quest and wanted the ring too -- that guy. so those two were good and i'd hire them again. so two actors and two special effects were good if that's worth ten bucks to you then go see it.
there are way too many subplots with characters you don't care about getting killed that made the audience i was with, well ... they laughed. i think we were supposed to care but we ... well, laughed. the directing was all over the place the cinematography was that silly moving stuff for the entire film. is this a skateboarding video ... even the scenes where they're giving speeches in the board rooms? no. we want to see the room, the setup of the scene, then we want to see the main guy -- unfortunately Dennis Quaid got stuck with the being the main guy in this movie -- then we want to see shots of other people saying stuff and the necessarily reactions we need to understand. not swooping helicopter shots in the freaking boardroom unless it's leading up to somehting interesting. it never does. not even when frost /chases/ the kids into a room in the NY city library. frost? chasing? library? whose idea was that? fire that guy. you couldve at least panned past a No Running sign while they were running and a Quiet Please sign while they were screaming so we could laugh. at least let us laugh. and then timberwolves show up? wolves?? please. fire that guy too. the visual effects guy, the one who i'm guessing was in charge of the capitol records clip and the NY city clip should get another job. those were cool and well done. i'm guessing that's why they picked those shots for the trailer. the editor. the editor of this film is at fault for the weird pacing that never really led up to anything ... except plodding speeches about, spinning animated weather stuff and global warming. yawn. but maybe he was forced to do his job over the weekend in the back of a van or something. i wanna say the editing sucked but i'm willing to give him a break assuming the weekend in a van thing.
save your money and spend it on ... something else. ice cream. a ticket to a cool art show. request a song and give a nice tip to the piano bar guy. give a dollar to a disadvantaged soul or ten disadvantaged souls. see some local music somewhere in your town. sit in the dark and crunch peppermint lifesavers because they make that cool blue light when they crunch. do anything but see this movie. it's just dumb and not dumb in a good way like Dumb and Dumber. dumb in just a dumb way. dumb.