How to Make a Buck Out of Climate Change

Rating: 1/10 (11 February 2007)

Climate change. Everyone's talking about it, thought the Hollywood execs, so how can we make a buck out of it? Well for starters, we're going to have to speed it up. A lot! I mean, a small rise in average temperatures over half a century? Boring! What we need is climate change for kids with Attention Deficit Disorder. So lets squeeze it all into a few days. And as for that modest rise in sea levels they're predicting, lets make it a colossal tidal wave slamming into New York.
Looking good! So what else do we need? Hey, how about a new ice age. One that descends right across the northern hemisphere in about five minutes flat. And how about vast super-storms that freeze people solid in a couple of seconds! And huge tornadoes smashing up LA! Looking real good!
Now, I guess we need a few characters, and some sort of a script, don't you think? Hey, do we still have those chimps on contract? You know the ones with the typewriters. Yeah, give them an infinite amount of time and they'll type out the complete works of Shakespeare, or something like that.
No, we don't have an infinite amount of time. Just go with their first draft. It'll be fine. Long as we stick enough CGI effects in there, nobody's going to care one way or another.