Why so serious???

Rating: 3/10 (8 December 2012)

After raising the bar so high with The Dark Knight Nolan drops said bar with nerve shattering force with The Dark Knight Rises. To say that I had high hopes for Nolans 3rd go at The Bat would be criminally understating the obvious.How could it be bad?!?!?The man had plenty of time to hash out a good script & the full support of the studio behind him.It has taken me months to bounce back from the disappointment I felt after seeing TDKR.If this movie was rushed into production a month after The Dark Knight I might have been able to excuse some of the glaring issues.Maybe.I honestly don't even know where to begin.
****************SPOILERS******************** 1.Batman spends 8 years out of commission over a failed romance & no one notices that both Batman & Bruce Wayne disappeared at the same time. 2.No cartilage no problem just wear this bat bionic brace thingy & you'll be punching holes in brick walls like a champ. 3.Robin knocks on his door & says hey I know your Batman let me in & lets talk about it.OK sure come on in. 4.Catwoman has the dumbest subplot.Worse than the entire Halle Berry feature. 5.Robins name is not Robin. 6.Alfred quits?!?!?!? 7.Batman is broken in half.His spine is broken yet through the magical healing hands of a a deranged prison masseur & some push ups hes up & running in no time. 8.Somehow Bane manges to fly Bruce to the ass end of the world to drop him in a hole then fly all the way back in what 24 hours?A week?Hello continuity! 9.With no friends no money no assets somehow Bruce fully healed crawls out of Banes hole & what walks back to Gotham?Hitchhikes? Gotham is under siege & taken over by terrorists & the rest of the world just does nothing.Really?! 10.More than half of the police force charges into the sewers after Bane & are trapped which has got to be the dumbest thing I've seen on screen since Ernest escaped from jail. 11.When the trapped officers escape MONTHS later they are showered shaved & fit for an epic battle in the snowy streets of Gotham. 12.Instead of oh I don't know planning to take back Gotham they just charge at them with sticks. 13.Longest detonation time for a bomb ever! 14.The second best detective after Batman Gordon is STUNNED to find out Bruce & (SPOILER) Batman are one & the same.Nevermind that EVERYONE in Gotham seems to have figured it out. 15.Bruce kills The Bat & runs away with Catwoman leaving EVERYTHING to Robin.
****************END SPOILERS********************* These are just the most glaring problems to me.There are so so many that I would be here for hours detailing every last one. This is a skilled team of film makers at work here.These plot problems continuity issues & poorly written characters should be at a minimum not at an accelerated high.Sure some of these issues I have are personal but most of them are technical.The Dark Knight Rises is a BAD movie people.This isn't the fault of the actors involved or shockingly the studio.Nolan & company have delivered a well polished turd & it seems that mostly people are very satisfied with it.Which is baffling on so many levels.Now I waited for them to release the bluray thinking maybe we would get a directors cut that at least tryed to reconcile the problems with this movie but nope.Nolan truly believes he delivered a masterpiece & thats that.I want to watch The Dark Knight Rises at least one more time with commentary.I just have to hear its creators try to skirt or justify this mighty mess of a failure.