Bane Drain

Rating: 1/10 (22 July 2012)

This is by far the most boring and ponderous Batman movie I've ever seen.
Be warned that you better refresh yourself on the story thread from the previous two Batman films in the series, or else you will be left largely clueless as the plot plods along.
The story line is dull, dragged out and very, very implausible, for all the film's pretenses of being a "reality" Batman series. The action scenes with Batman are anemic for the little bit of screen time you see him in costume.
If you're a Batman fan, be prepared to spend half the tedious 2.5-hour film watching Bruce Wayne languish in a desert prison until he regains his mojo. This follows a lame opening where Christian Bale is so craggy-looking and injured, he looks like the only thing he can do for the day is find his Viagra pills.
But the worst element of the film is the villain "Bane." He's a cross between Hannibal Lecter and Darth Vader. Or rather a lovechild between a pit bull and professional wrestler, because of a silly dog-like muzzle he wears through the film. Heath Ledger's Joker character was spine tingling and very scary. Bane is a bore. Even his long-awaited demise at the film's end is anticlimactic.
He gets tiring quickly because you never see any facial expression, and his words and muffled. The gimmick only works for Darth Vader because of James Earl Jone's voice talent. Frankly, you get more expression out of a ventriloquist's wooden dummy than Bane.
The Bane-bouncer beats Batman to a pulp and unmasks Batman halfway though film in a fistfight – which is a first in itself for the series. What's amusing is that the viewer only realizes near the end of the film that all Batman had to do is rip off Bane's mask to incapacitate him. Oh duh.
Anne Hathaway's performance as a very dark Cat Woman is excellent and holds up against all the sultry actresses before her who have donned the mask, ears, and skin-tight costume.
My taste is to have the Batman series stylized on screen as a graphic novel. Tim Burton cleverly accomplished this in the earlier films.
The gritty reality of placing the setting in the New York City is a lazy and inappropriate substitute for the comic book Gotham City. More than a decade after 9/11 it is still uncomfortable seeing NYC buildings in flames and screaming people running down the street, and even bridges blowing up.
I found the final three minutes the only redeeming piece of the 164-minute film. It leaves the door open for more sequels, hopefully with a different director.