The Dark Knight falls from the dung heap that is this movie

Rating: 1/10 (29 December 2012)

i am a big fan of Christopher Nolan' first two Batman pictures so I was really looking forward to this movie. Unfortunately apart from the opening scene this movie was such a disappointing mess.
The story was weak, the Batman was weak and AWOL for most of the movie. Bane the villain was just annoying and wore a contraption on his face that was never qualified or explained, and looked like a k-tel slice-o-matic strapped to his head. We are treated to a boring twist in the floppy plot later when we find the real villain is someone else, and who cared less by the time you find this out.
There was a bomb that wasn't meant to be a bomb in a truck that drove around endlessly with two other decoys so no one in Gotham could find it.Scarecrow was back but not as Scarecrow. He is as a rebel magistrate that condemns all to death by ice walk across a frozen bay.
Cat woman is a cat burglar and Robin is an ex-cop. The villains all drive Bat mobiles and Batman flies a space ship. Cat woman rode the Bat cycle and Robin drives a cop car. Alfred just starts crying and leaves (i felt the same way) while all the cops in the world march into a tunnel together and get trapped there. Doh! ....... Later
Bane (K-tel man) was apparently imprisoned in a hole in the ground many years ago - he throws Batman down the same hole where he is helped by what i can only describe as mole monks, who can't get out of the hole themselves. They speak of a legend child who apparently was the only person who had ever successfully left the hole in the ground, i counted 2 but anyway... Bane gives Batman a big screen TV so he can watch Gotham burn but the Bat is not having it and he smashes the TV. Seriously!!!
After a strategic punch in the back by a mole monk, Batmans damaged spine is cured so he starts with the sit ups and push ups and now he's ready to climb from the hole, third time lucky with the mole monks chanting for him.
Now all he has to do is kill Bane which he nearly does but is foiled by a girl with a pen knife,look out!!! its the real villain. Its OK but, cause Cat women helps the Batman and he gets his space ship back. The fumbling bumbling Gordon calls the shots from a hospital bed but luckily he does manage to tackle the math (three trucks 2 are decoys - villain master mind stuff)he finally picks the right truck and disarms the bomb temporarily.
By now nearly everyone knows Batman is Bruce because he keeps dropping hints or telling them outright. What?
Batman takes the bomb far away, saves Gotham, goes to France with Cat women and Alfred. And look out sequel - Robin finds another Bat cave. I am not kidding this is a shlock. Chris you owe me the seven bucks I wasted hiring this pile of dung. Please have another go and do it properly this time!!!