Holy Fromage, Batman! A Swiss Cheese Smorgasbord of Plot Holes

Rating: 6/10 (20 May 2015)

Hailed by some as the best film ever, I found The Dark Knight Rises to be a shambles and a poor end to a supposed 'epic' trilogy as, at its mighty climax, the viewer is left with so many hows and whys, such as: If Batman has been off the scene for years, how come Bruce Wayne is so battered and maimed? Who has he been fighting? And if so, how does one leg brace instantly cure him? If the brace could do that, then why not use it sooner? Did he think that the limp made him look cool? Also, how does Bruce Wayne get from the desert prison back to Gotham City? And how does he shrug off a deep knife wound and jump out of the flying typewriter (that's what the 'plane' looks like to me - the design in the film is horribly clunky and visually indistinct) over the Gotham river unobserved and unscathed so he can then jet off with Selina for an incognito life (one in which nobody has a smartphone and takes pictures of him to sell to Hello! to garner a "Bruce Wayne is Alive!" cover exclusive)? Who indeed is 'Catwoman' (she is never called that)? What is her story, and how does she have such incredible fighting skills? I would like to have seen that at least hinted at as Anne Hathaway shines in the role and is the only real bright spot in the entire film. Also, would EVERY single Gotham cop go into the sewers? Really, ALL of them? Once entombed, they all just languish underground (quite happily, by the looks of it) for three months before being freed to engage in an A-Team-style battle with Bane's mob (loads of gunfire, but hardly any hits). Indeed, where are the illustrious denizens of Arkham Asylum during Bane's reign of terror? (Oh, yes, we briefly see Scarecrow, so that's that sorted, then). Meanwhile, in the sunny hellhole prison of undank darkness, Bruce was either lounging in bed or suspended from a rope during his tenure there, so, bar some pressups, where does he suddenly find the power to knock out the seemingly unstoppable Bane? And then, finally, sadly, we have 'Robin', who is just an average-sized cop (who knows Batman's true identity, thanks to 'Orphan Telepathy') with no specialist skills or knowledge, so what is he supposed to do with the Batcave? It took Bruce Wayne a lifetime to become the Dark Knight, so what is a cop going to do with the cave and its technology? Or perhaps Bruce Wayne left a helpful note explaining how the various gizmos work, who knows? As an ending to the trilogy, TDKR is deeply unsatisfying and has a script that closely resembles swiss cheese. To be honest, I didn't think that Batman Begins was much cop either, but that had Liam Neeson and The Dark Knight had the tour-de-force presence of Heath Ledger, but TDKR only has poor Tom Hardy mumbling unintelligibly through a mask and hardly any Batman action. Oh, and the plot is pretty much the same as the Bond movie The World Is Not Enough. Ultimately, Berberian Sound Studio probably has less open plot threads than The Dark Knight Rises. What a pity.