Blegh

Rating: 3/10 (20 February 2014)

When I heard Bane was going to be in the last movie, naturally I was hyped. I mean, he's my favorite comic book movie villain of all time. What could possibly go wrong? EVERYTHING! This movie is full of dumbass moments, poorly executed plot and Bane is wearing Darth Vader's crotch piece for some reason. WHY?! Say what you want about Joel Schumacher's Batman and Robin, but at least THAT movie had Bane in his natural form, even if he was a retarded gorilla-monkey.
The plot to this movie starts off strong, with Not-Bane clearly making it known to us that he is a terrorist and he means business. Bruce Wayne has stopped being Batman and now sports a leg injury and cane, even though Christian Bale looks way to young to be the Batman from Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns. He decides to be Batman again after an also too young Anne Hathaway steals his fingerprints and...
I can't recall the plot to this movie. All I remember is sitting in the theater with the same bad feeling in my gut that I had when I sat through M. Night Shyamalan's "Signs". It was only after I checked out reviews of the Dark Knight Rises that everyone pointed out the same problem that Signs had: all the plot holes. How did Batman recover from being mauled by Not-Bane in a few days and yet take years to recover from a leg injury? If Not-Bane is going to blow up the city, why give the trigger to some random civilian? Because that random civilian turns out to be Talia al-Ghul! BUM Bum bummmm...
STUPID! Talia was given no development outside of sleeping with Bruce Wayne (hey, isn't Catwoman supposed to be in this movie?) and that's it. If you're going to have a twist, movie, you need to establish elements within said twist before you execute it, like *SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T SEEN "FROZEN" YET* Prince Hans being established as a nice guy and turning out to be a huge douche. Oh, that scene was glorious...
Another problem is that this movie suffers from the absence of Batman. Instead, we get Batman's mentally challenged cousin Crazy Steve (who made his debut in All-Star Batman and Robin #1) who gets tricked into a trap by Anne Hathaway and then has the buhjesus beaten out of him by Not-Bane. GOOD; he deserved it after All-Star BAR.
Overall, this is NOT a fitting end to Nolan's Dark Knight movies. It suffers from major plot holes and poorly executed story elements, as well as Crazy Steve being an amateur when it comes to things like thought. The only two good things going for it are Not-Bane, who is still very enjoyable despite his lack of luchador masks, and the fights in broad daylight, in which we get to see Crazy Steve get mashed up in full splendor. Ah, it's the little things that make me happy, unlike this giant piece of crap.