Ugh...

Rating: 2/10 (27 June 2013)

It's no secret I'm dismissive of Nolans Batman. To me, he is to realistic and, taken out of context (or costume) he is no superhero-in essence, they are superhero films by name only. Batman Begins was dull, but TDK was a solid film that was a fine addition to the batman film universe. So how does this film hold up?
To be honest, it's pretty crap
To cut to the chase, lets talk about our cast and characters. Christen Bale is boring in this film. Bruce Wayne isn't compelling in the way Tony Stark or Peter Parker are. I say this because in this film, Batman is in it for 33 minutes. It's mostly Bale being quite wooden, which is shame as I remember him in American Psycho being interesting. I can't say much about his batman other then what's been said all ready-yes, I can't understand that voice. His costume again looks like greens goblins with spiderman-only the expression coming from bale is less expressive.
Bane was bad. Gone is the superhuman powered by chemicals with a distinctive mask, replaced with our buffed up Joker wannabe-AKA "a villain who has something to say about our society." He's not engaging as he does long gloats like he's the new Josef Stalin-lame. The voice Tom Hardy does sounds like a dodgy crossover between Sean Connery, Jim Carrey from the Grinch and sheogorath. It's also incredibly hard to understand, and scenes with Bane speaking to batman are very difficult to understand because of the voices. I don't get how comic book fans criticise the Batman and robin bane yet praise this one. Sure that one was stupid but he at least had the characters backstory and basic appearance. At he end with a big plot twist, his motivations suddenly make no sense (he protects a young Talia but lets thousands of kids presumably parent less or dead in his takeover of the city?)he comes across as a mere henchman and is shot by catwomen. At worst batmans no gun rule is illogical, but if he can use his brains to defeat the bad guy, its OK. If batman had shot bane at the beginning of the whole thing he might not have lost his money, saved lots of lives, not be beaten to a pulp and not have to live in hiding. Hes pretty crap and not a faithful adaptation at all.
The costume designers got a modern day catwomen right, and Anne Hathaway did a fine job in the role. However I don't know if shes a villain, antihero, hero? At least we knew she was a villain in Batman Returns and a (very VERY lame) hero in Catwomen. I blame Nolans writing more than anything else though. Oh, and Hathaway is damn fine in this.
Lots of new characters are here along with the old. I swear Joseph Gordon Levitts character was written in just because they hired the guy- and set up a squeal to the "final chapter" of this series. Also how the hell did he know who batman is? Just because? Again, more bad script writing. Gary Oldman bring presence but hes not got much meat to chew into-and his characters decision to send all cops into the sewer is one of the worst pieces of script writing ever. Morgan Freeman and Micheal Caine are wasted here and and could've been edited out of the movie. Marion Cotillard is bland and her character makes no sense-she is introduced as a villain and dies 10 minutes later. Payoff, who needs that?
The story is so bad-full of clichés, lazy writing and making references to modern day conflicts and terrorist to make it look clever. After the realistic stylings of TDK this throws any realism out of the window. If a terrorist like Bane was under the sewer, than shouldn't Gordon at least notify the government? If Bin laden was seen hiding in New York the Americans would have sent special forces or something. Also I highly doubt that the plane opening would happen-the CIA have radars that could detect a plane that big and would have identified the prisoners by removing the bags before going into the air. Batmans back can't repair itself like that in real life, and he would've been incinerated by the bomb. Also Gotham would have been hit by the radioactive fallout-thanks for "saving" the day. The script is full of nitpicks that all add up to plot holes. The realism is abandoned for illogical plot convenience- at least Iron Man 3, the least realistic in its series of films, put in a comic book world to explain certain plot elements. Removing banes super strength to make him more realistic but having huge gaps in realism mean that the excuse "its a comic book movie" redundant. The film is boring with horrible pacing problems, having stupid or underdeveloped characters and clunky dialogue that only serves as exposition means this is Nolans worst script ever. The action is boring and half hearted, with clumsy fight scenes littered throughout.
Gotham isn't the dark, slightly warped city of the comics any more but the a bland version of new york-again, the modern world aspect of these films means it's not memorable in the way Tim Burtons batman films were. The music is pretty bad, just being loud strings in the background-no tune to hum to along with no tension or emotion.
Is this film worse that Batman and Robin? No. Its certainly bloated and boring, but not the cinematic train wreck the B&R is. However while batman & robin can be entertaining because it's bad (evident in it's camp tone) this is a chore to sit through. Its boring, has a stupid script and having very little of it's protagonist in this final instalment, it's a horrible sequel to TDK ,one of the worst entries in batman media and a dull and plain awful "cinematic" experience altogether.