How did this happen, again...

Rating: 4/10 (25 July 2012)

If you like Transformers 3, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Gran Torino, The Hunger Games, Taken, Alice in Wonderland, Transporter 3, Snow White and the Huntsman, and so many others like these titles, then stop here. Stop, here. This review is not for those who don't ask questions or find plot holes, or even care for accuracy or realism at all for that matter. No offense to you, but these words will be of no use to you, and likely offend your opinions.
First, I will comment on what I respect about the film. I do acknowledge some of the visual effects, and I do enjoy the soundtrack.
I'd like to start by commenting on the cast. I thought I made the mistake of not reading reviews before watching this film, but then found out that I would have made a bigger mistake by doing so before hand. Several people claim in their reviews that this cast was genius and perfect. I will not review other reviews, but really, common. There are literally 5 characters from Inception in this film, or maybe 4, I honestly lost count. I respect each one of them differently as actors, but this was ridiculous to bag and tag them all in this film. Nolan just got lazy and figured his old pals could handle the roles with no questions asked. I really don't think anyone questions scripts sometimes because of films like this.
Bane, Bane, Bane. The first time I heard his voice I actually threw up some popcorn. I was unaware that Sean Connery was part of the cast, but I did grow to accept it. Although his voice was annoyingly loud and exceptionally silly. The whole time. That is only the verbal problem I have with Bane. Physically, he looks like an old steroid abusing wrestler from the 80s. Really, no one else caught this? His voice, his build (most characters are as tall as him), and then that mask. That mask looks like a piece of SCUBA equipment. But we find out later that it, well, we never actually find out what it does. Or did we? Someone in that hole prison made this for him? He survived the beating from the other prisoners? He was beaten for helping a little boy, or girl, from escaping a prison? He was in love with a little girl, who was a princess? He was how old when he helped her? Easily 30, and yet somehow 30 years later he still looked 30? His scars from the small scene with his face in bandages were all healed? His mask can withstand quite literally every blow, up until the end of the movie? No one thought to shoot this guy in the head? Moving on. Although, there is more.
Now Catwoman, where to begin with her. Hathaway is a pretty face, and nothing more. I have seen enough of her films to know her style of acting, and action is not and never, EVER will be in her qualifications. Catwoman steals from the rich and gives to the poor, a true Robin Hood mimic. Why does she steal so much? She claims that she has to eat. She claims that, or something similar, for the whole film. Where did she get these skills? Who was her lesbian tag along friend? Why was she able to get out of jail/prison/wherever so many times when her record was as big as the bible? What was her back story? Why did she dress like a cat when she had no pictures of cats or have any interest in the movie at all about cats? Oh, because she was a cat burglar? Shocking. Again, plenty more, but running out of words.
Every single character in this film tried so hard to be philosophical. They all gave each other their own perception of life, and all clearly knew each other since each of them were born. Alfred couldn't stop crying, nor could most of the other characters. Really, pay attention to how many different characters tear up how many different times. It is crazy overkill, and unnecessary. Apparently all of these little street rats, that all somehow formed an unknown underground army were all ex-military personnel. They quickly knew how to build/drive the Batmobiles. They were all "trained killers" as I think Batman himself claimed at one point. But they lived, in sewers. In sewers? In sewers. Where would training like this come from? Why/how would trained people live in sewers? How was Bane so popular in the entire world and warmly welcomed into the sewer gang? Why did he choose Gothem? Oh yea. Why was he so faithful to this little girl, or boy? How did that little girl, or boy, make a jump that so many other grown men couldn't? Oh yea, hope, or something. Bane claimed he was born in the shadows, but we found out later that Bane was not the little girl, or boy, that we thought. So where did Bane come from? How was Bane able to get Batman to that hole prison and make it back to Gothem in such a short time? Why/how did that prison exist? How was there a TV with electricity in it, and how did it get a Gothem/American news channel? How did street rats, Sean Connery, and the crazy lady from Inception pull the biggest terrorist act in America? Why did it take that cop so long to figure out that Bruce Wayne was Batman? Really. Why/how did the capturers feed 3,000 cops a day? Why didn't those cops have guns when they escaped? Why wasn't the city blown up earlier if that was the master plan the whole time? Why/how did Batman take the time to poor gasoline into the bat symbol on a bridge? Oh yea, hope. Really, there is no concept of time in this movie.
There are a million other things, but ponder these for now.