Thank the Maker that Nolan is done with Batman

Rating: 1/10 (29 July 2012)

People complained about Batman not having enough screen time in 1992 with Batman Returns. well, here it is again. the big difference is that whenever batman appeared in the aforementioned film, it WAS batman, and he was cool. this is not the case with bale. i have now had to endure 2 movies that call themselves "batman" movies, but cmon. don't kid yourself. this is not batman. frankly i am shocked at how the sheep have latched onto Nolan's batman, particularly TDK. i don't really understand it.....what was it that people saw in that dreck i didn't see? as a big fan of the original batman films ala Tim Burton and the FIRST film by Joel Schumacher, i remember going into batman begins all starry eyed and excited to see my favorite hero on screen. needless to say, i was let down. i did read in magazines beforehand the "realism" approach Nolan was taking. i thought OK, it will be dark like Tim Burton's awesome movies, yeah! but.....it was boring. it dragged. the villains were lame. Ra's AL Gaul i mainly knew from the cartoon show with Kevin Conroy i grew up watching. i expected Lazarus pits. didn't get that. the bat mobile looked like a freaking tank. that just ticked me off. I'm still not over that. then came the dark knight. i didn't expect much, given how incredibly lame batman begins was. and i wasn't crazy about the casting of heath ledger as joker. last person in the world i would have cast to play him. ah well, i decided to give it a try, plus the hype was incredible due to ledgers death. it turned out that was the only thing anyone could even remember about the film. its totally unmemorable, and try as i might, i could help but compare ledger to Nicholson. needless to say, ledger doesn't even come close to the genius of jack. the whole look of joker was totally off, looking like a grungy hobo. LAME. while the action is ever so slightly amped up, it never took off for me, and two-face, more like half-a-face, short cameo at the end (yes, thats really all it was) was incredibly insulting. sorry to say, tommy lee Jones still owns that part as he was a major player and played the role to the hilt.
now we have the 3rd movie, and boy am i glad its the last. being the batman fan i am, i knew it would suck but i just had to see it to compare it to the others. in retrospect, i would say batman begins is probably the lesser of 3 evils in this series. at least it followed the traditional batman movie feel, more or less, as well as being the only one to have the word "batman" in the title. i simply do not like going to a batman movie that doesn't have the word batman in the title. "the dark knight" is just Batman's nickname, not his REAL name. its just pure laziness. they could have easily called the 3rd one "batman rises". simple and to the point. dark knight is just stupid sounding. OK now onto the movie. stylistically, Nolan doesn't have a clue how to make a batman movie. did he even watch the previous movies? whatever happened to "does it come in black?". now the freaking tank look like army colors! huh? the helicopter looking thing.... THATS supposed to be an updated bat-plane? huh? looks more like the tumbler grew jets engines and learned how to fly. nope, the Tim Burton/Schumacher bat planes are really BATPLANES. they looked like a bat, not this hunk of junk. the whole deal with batman disappearing for 8 years is....not. batman. batman would not just abandon his city for that long. batman is always out there protecting people in Gotham. he wouldn't let some cops or some dogs stop him. totally out of character. bane looks like a mortal combat reject and catwoman..is it even fair to call her that? what did they do to one of my favorite characters *teardrop* *sniff* they didn't even use the name catwoman! so, she could be "leather clad biker chick" for all we know. for any people or kids who Haven't seen the other films and this is there introduction to the character. i feel bad for them cuz they wont know who it is. the costume is awful, yes even worse and uncatwoman-like then the Halley berry skank version. Michelle pfieffer still owns this part. tragic, dark, sexy and pshycotic on top of being an insanely beautiful woman in the classic grace Kelly mold. Anne Hathaway is a strange looking look duck, and her performance was ultra weak in comparison. even when not comparing to pfieffer, the gold standard of Catwomans, she is still weak. the scene where she dances with bale, when compared with the Keaton/pfieffer scene, shows how superior Tim Burton's films are in just about every way, story wise and artistically. but you cant blame her entirely when you look at the garbage she has to work with. if you watch what pfieffer did with the role, which was pretty damn intense (wrecking apartments in rage, blowing up buildings, killing a guy with a electroshock kiss, getting shot point blank range) there isn't much else you can do with this part. Michelle did it ALL. now bane. despite the mortal combat silly look, i thought he would be more cooler then the B&R bane at the very least. *sigh* once again, lame. the way he breaks Batman's back is stupid, ooh a comics reference! these movies are for the nerds i swear. and cat woman??? kills him? the constant flashbacks, the cheesy dialog, the lack of action *yet again*, killing off Bruce Wayne and showing batman hanging up his cape and cowl for good, is Nolan's last big flip of the bird to the real batman fans who expected more from a modern batman film.