An Epic Disappointment

Rating: 7/10 (20 July 2012)

(I'm really sorry for writing an essay) (full spoilers):
Oh boy, where to begin? Well, to put it simply, this was nothing more than an epic disappointment. Believe me, this is not a case of me having unrealistic expectations. I never expected it to be better than TDK or even Inception. This wasn't even in my top 3 most anticipated movies of the year (it was number 4). Yet still, it sunk below even my lowest expectations. I am still in shock that this film was actually directed AND written by Christopher Nolan. In an attempt to gather my thoughts, I'll start with the performances.
First up is Matthew Modine. He is pretty bad here, like most reviews have indicated. However, I don't recall reading any reviews that really discuss the cringe inducing clichés that revolve around his character. The first that jumps to mind is the truly awful moment towards the end of the film when the police face off against Bane's henchmen and Modine is seen stepping out in front of "his men" and leading the fight the good fight. As if that alone wasn't over-the-top, he's dressed in full uniform, complete with white gloves (get it, he's the good guy). But it's not just Modine, I moved in my seat when Nolan's camera thought that it was absolutely necessary to move up on Modine's lifeless body (he died fighting THE GOOD FIGHT! And isn't he so noble for doing so!). Moving on I am flabbergasted that anyone has praised Anne Hathaway's performance. It's just as over-the-top and cheesy as any performance in any super hero film I've ever seen. And by the end of the film, her character completely contradicts herself not once, but twice! First, when she shows up just Batman is about to be killed and saves the day after she explicitly stated only a couple of scenes before that she only wanted to escape the city and didn't care about its inhabitants. The second time is at the very end when she's sitting there with Bruce Wayne at the table (we're supposed to believe that her character would do that because). Her fights are also poorly choreographed and don't even attempt to appear realistic or plausible. Then there's Levitt, but I'll get to him later. The best of the bunch is Tom Hardy, but sadly, he's character is so under written and generic that he's not given the opportunity to show off any of his considerable acting ability (just his muscles). As for Marion Cotillard? All I'll say is that she has one of the corniest death scenes of any action movie I've ever seen. She lives just long enough to get out her final "moo haha" speech and then her head literally slumps forward and her eyes shut and she's dead. I don't see how fans of the film could even look past THAT moment. One of the things I'm most surprised by is the unbelievably weak screenplay. Above all other criticisms, the biggest problem this film has is the fact that it is completely riddled with clichés from beginning to end. I've already discussed some already, but we really have to talk about the ending. Wow! First off, Nolan resorts to the oldest threat in the villain handbook: the ticking time-bomb. I know, I can't believe it! The best the man who wrote Inception can come up with is a ticking time bomb. But alright, there's a doomsday bomb, it's going to go off and Batman has to stop it. Fine. But the solution? When all else fails? Hook it up to your flying bat machine and fly it over the ocean I know! I still can't get over the overt simplicity of this film! Especially after his last 2 movies! But alright! Fine! You have a bomb going off in two minutes and you have to fly it out of there. Good. But did you really need to stop, steal a kiss with Catwoman AND then have a quick dialog with Gary Oldman BEFORE flying it out of there!! These are the kind of clichés I expect to find in a Michael Bay film, not a Christopher Nolan film! And the "auto-pilot" please don't get me started on the auto pilot I think the ridiculousness of that speaks for itself.
And then there's Levitt. Whose presence is entirely pointless for 90% of the film. And the other 10%? To provide some truly cheesy side story about the orphanage and to shamelessly set up the next reboot. Shame on you Christopher Nolan! Also, Gary Oldman is pretty much wasted here, as he has been throughout the trilogy. And hasn't the whole "Bruce getting over his fears" been hammered to death already? Parentally not, since we get a whole unnecessary sequence in which he overcomes his fears yet again.
I'll rap this up by talking about my last two problems with the film. First, let's talk about the empty political subtext Nolan sorta, kinda tried to tackle. Nolan said many times that A Tale of Two Cities was the inspiration for this film. Really? Because I couldn't tell. Sure, you get the scene with Selina going "you thought you could live so large" etc, but what else is there? A Tale of Two Cities was about the French Revolution, in which the poor overthrow the corrupt and decadent rich. Well, in this film, the leader of the poor is Bane, who, of course, is the VILLAIN, not the hero. And his minions? Yep, they're criminals. It seems this is the exact opposite of Dickens classic. Nolan seems to be saying that the poor are ultimately the enemy and it is Batman, the billionaire, who comes to the rescue. Lastly, my main gripe is the film is just simply boring. None of the action set pieces are particularly thrilling, original or innovative. I was bored sitting through much of this film. I truly can't believe it!