Mediocre summer popcorn movie with warped morals

Rating: 1/10 (17 July 2008)

In reality, I give this film a score of "4 out of 10", but the one-star rating you see above is intended to balance out the obvious shill vote (marketing hype, "astroturf", 10/10 votes and comments by paid-for marketing weenies posing as real, unbiased people).
At the time of this writing, the film has a 9.7-out-of-10 rating which it clearly does not in any sense deserve. It merits half that rating.
I saw "Batman" last night. 2.5 hours meant that one gets one's money's worth, but heck... it's not half as good as advertisers and IMDb.com would have us believe. The plot line drags, the characters are shallow, the morality is deeply confused and wildly warped.
The "dark knight" is more like a dim bulb.
It's hard to believe in Heath Ledger as the Joker. He's just too broad in the face, one-dimensional in this role, and weighed down by poor writing. His makeup was supposed to be degrading throughout the film, but there were obvious touch-ups and clean-ups that reminded the audience "this is make-believe." His garb was supposed to be purple-on-green, but was so dark as to look like a black suit. His actions were so reckless that we, as an audience, were constantly reminded that "this ain't even close to reality. Even a toddler wouldn't believe that this scheme would leave The Joker alive and thriving."
Worse, we're given zero back-story to help us believe that The Joker's feelings and craziness are based on something. In fact, the film goes far out of its way to emphasize that The Joker has no past, no legitimate reason for his hatred and aggression, and is simply not understandable. To that, I say "Go back to scriptwriting school, and take a few psychology classes while you're there. A character isn't menacing or intriguing unless we see the mechanism driving the emotions."
Worse, Christian Bale as Batman. Christian Bale, though good at dieting and working out, has all the humanity and emotiveness of rotting firewood. Without a sound track, sure, he'd do well as a male model. As a actor, though, he's just taking up space on the screen. Worse, his lisping (with obvious sound effects to lower and strengthen his voice) make him unbelievable as Batman and as perfectionist billionaire.
Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) gave an unemotive performance. Worse, he seemed to be struggling with his accent so much that he had no time for other aspects of acting. This is NOT the caliber of performance that he delivered for "Leon" ("The Professional") and "Bram Stoker's Dracula". This was an obvious potboiler, walk-on-and-take-the-money performance.
Likewise for all the other performers except hyperactive Heath Ledger and a small one-dimensional part played by the wife of one character. I felt no emotion from any of the other actors and actresses, despite the big ups and downs in the plot line. Dammit, if your daddy dies or you quit your lifelong job, y'oughta look a little broken up!
With two exceptions, the special effects did nothing for me: 1) I felt a bit of adrenalin when Batman was standing on a ledge atop a skyscraper while the camera looked over his shoulder into the street. 2) Harvey Two-face's mask was well done: that gets a thumbs up, though I wouldn't want kids seeing it or they'll have nightmares.
A few scenes just left me scratching my head, saying "that would never happen; that's beyond stupid, even for a cartoon movie." When Batman glides down from one building on his wings, darn it, the wings should look full of air like a parachute, not luffing like a sail pointed in the wrong direction!
Even the love interest was a bit bland. They found a frumpy, not-too-pretty woman to play Batman's love-of-his-life, and apparently asked her to play her role as though nothing-- romance, impending death, and explosions-- matters. I've seen people react more strongly when they get the wrong kind of coffee from a Starbucks! >:o
The morality is twisted. From a comic book, one should expect flat, one-dimensional thinking. From Frank Miller, the talented artist but stupid Ayn Rand follower who wrote the comic book on which this film is based, one should expect wildly offensive "morality" that would make even an idiot say "wtf, man, rethink this!" The plot and characters will inevitably be compared to America's McCarthyist-style "war on terrorism", and that just sickens me, because I see the film try to justify a patronizing, lying, violent attitude from government and a billionaire.
Everywhere in the film, actors are saying "This is wrong-headed, illegal, untruthful, patronizing to the citizenry, and an abuse of power... but we're in a dark, scary time so it's OK for now." Art imitates life, eh! I felt deeply ill.
So far this summer, Hancock is the only superhero movie I'd endorse, and that would only get a weak thumbs-up. It's at least funny, and does not try to paint a comic-book morality as "heroic".
So what SHOULD you see as an action/popcorn movie this summer? I'm wondering if the "Voyage to the Center of the Earth" film or the new Mummy film, both starring Brendan Frasier, will be a bit better... or at least have a few funny lines. The trailers, though, hint that they'll be campy and unbelievable.