What Was That?

Rating: 3/10 (14 December 2009)

Like most people, I am familiar with Batman. I read Frank Miller's gritty Dark Knight Returns comic in the 1980s, but also watched with glee the comic spoof of the 1960s TV series. I enjoyed the Tim Burton Gothic fairytale, and even the rather dour Batman Begins.
But a few minutes into this movie, I thought to myself "What is this? It isn't Batman!" This was like a grumpy James Bond. And that feeling lingered throughout the film. This is just my opinion - but I didn't see Batman anywhere here.
From Christian Bale's gargling caped spy to the Heath Ledger's raspy bank robber with make-up, I found myself longing for an actual Batman story. Batman would NOT do the things the does in this film - he does not let his lady love die to protect the career of an attorney. If the filmmakers wanted to see how to solve this problem, they should have watched Spider-Man. Yes, his motivations are complex, but in this film he positively revels in doing the wrong thing. He is a soulless instrument of the law - not a vigilante - not even someone interested in justice. And I for one am sick of people talking to him, turning away, then looking back to see he has disappeared! If he was that fast how come he couldn't dispose of both bombs at once?
Many people have ruminated on the deep philosophical questions asked by this movie. Yet they don't make sense. The film is turgid, doesn't make it's points clearly, and contradicts itself. The message at one point is that people can make the right decisions. Yet Batman himself makes the wrong decision - as shown by what happens to Harvey Dent. And the final scene seems to contradict this point - people get the hero they need, not that they deserve. It seems the writers were going for as many profoundly deep points they could make, without bothering to string them together into a coherent drama.
This is one of the few movies (and certainly the only superhero movie) that I ever felt like walking out of - especially during the Harvey Dent subplot that feels like an extra 30 minutes tacked on to the story for no good reason - and haven't we even seen this before in Batman Forever?
In short, this over-hyped, bloated movie didn't - for me at least - live up to its expectations. It wasn't Batman, and I'm not sure I know what it is.