To Me "The Dark Knight" Was Just a Frickin' Freakshow

Rating: 4/10 (11 June 2012)

I just knew from the very first moment I set eyes on The Joker that he'd later show up wearing a dress. And I was right. He did.
Yep. The Joker looked so absolutely divine sashaying around in his nurse's frock and fright wig. He was a truly frustrated transvestite, if I ever saw one. You can bet there was a genuine drag queen hiding out underneath all of that smeared mascara, smudged lipstick and flaking pancake make-up. He didn't fool me one bit.
And besides all of that - Other than being an even worse monster than his father (who he obviously hated with a passion), The Joker had no real background to his character. I found Heath Ledger's portrayal of this villain to be neither sinister, nor menacing, just incredibly small, petty and irksomely annoying, very much like a pesky mosquito that just won't go away.
And, like, I know that The Joker had connections with the criminal underworld, and all - But, hey! - Where the hell did he get his hands on all of those explosives needed to blow up the hospital, etc., etc.? Eh? Where?
And, when did the setting up of all these explosives take place? Do you not realize just how much TNT power would be required to topple a building the size of the hospital? - Hello!? - That much dynamite couldn't be just easily tucked away inside a closet, or whatever, without somebody (like, maybe, security?) not detecting it well in advance..... Sheesh!
And, what was with that frickin' piece of petrified wood, actor Christian Bale, and his voice sounding like he's got a severe throat infection, or something? Was that Bale's idea of sounding butch?
Of all the actors who have ever played the Batman character, (next to Michael Keaton) I'd say that Bale has got to be the ultimate worst. He was about as shallow and boring as you could possibly get. Even Adam West of TV's Batman made a more dynamic superhero than this doofus did. And that ain't saying much.
And, when it came to our leading lady (the bland, pudding-faced Maggie Gyllenhaal as Rachael Dawes), she was the most dog-ugly, flat-chested nothing I ever saw. And, yet, this frumpy-looking bag had not one, but two, pretty-haired pretty boys (in the dynamic duo of Bruce Wayne and Harvey Dent) lusting after her, hot'n'heavy, ready to do battle on a moment's notice..... Like, spare me!
Basically, I found The Dark Knight to be the sort of movie that was clearly meant for people who can't (or won't) think things through for themselves to a logical conclusion. The Dark Knight was so full of laughable inconsistencies and gaping plot holes that it inevitably sucked, big time.
Yep. I could literally go on for days tearing into this film - A perfectly flawed story for this doomsday era, if there ever was one. After all of the huge build-up and excited praise that The Dark Knight has garnered for itself I feel completely cheated and, yes, disgusted, by what I was so pathetically offered here.
And because of its major disappointment factor, this picture doesn't deserve more than a 4 star rating as far as I'm concerned. No, it doesn't.