Why so happy? Let's put a frown on that face!

Rating: 1/10 (29 March 2009)

I know this review will get a bunch of unhelpful votes but somebody has to tell the truth here! The Dark Knight is wildly overrated and is the most overrated movie of all time. Forget Titanic, Boondock Saints and King Kong(2005). This movie surpasses them when it comes to sheer hype. For the record I love Batman Begins. I thought it was a fresh beginning on a series that was rendered ineffective by that lunatic Joel Schumacher. Christian Bale fared well as both Batman and Bruce Wayne and the rest of the cast did a great job also. But this movie.... Everything that made Batman Begins so great is absent from this pretentious slop. Most of the cast look like they'd rather be somewhere else. Let me break it down this way with what stinks about this movie.
The plot: Idiotic beyond belief. Joker(Heath Ledger) plans to kill city officials while playing childish games with Batman. Most of the time he's killing the people he's aligned with making him the most moronic villain in superhero movie history. Batman joins forces with Commissioner Gordon to stop him.
The acting: Christian Bale is wooden in both roles(Batman and Bruce Wayne). He spends most of the movie looking like he's stoned out of his mind. And what is up with that voice? In Batman Begins he sounded cool like one of the gangsters from those old 1940s flicks. Here he sounds like Dirty Harry with strep throat. Aaron Eckhart is flat as both Harvey Dent and Two-Face. While his Two-Face was better than Tommy Lee's Two-Face looking good by default is never good. Michael Caine, Gary Oldman and Morgan Freeman sleepwalk through this whole movie. Maggie Gyllenhaal is quite awful as Rachel Dawes. Katie Holme's Rachel Dawes was a strong willed lawyer that fought for what's right. Maggie's Rachel Dawes needs to grow up and find some better priorities. I agree that she is a step up from Katie Holmes but she plays Rachel Dawes like some silly high school girl with a pathetic crush on Bruce Wayne. The fact that we are asked to feel sympathy for her when The Joker captures her is a bit of a stretch. Her getting roasted made my day though lol!
Now for the talk of the town: Heath Ledger as Joker. Heath Ledger's performance was okay but to say that he was better than Jack Nicholson's Joker is hilarious to say the least. Jack Nicholson's Joker had style, a plan and was pretty funny as well as unpredictable. Of course he was silly but he was fun. Heath Ledger's Joker is predictable with no back story and had no real plan. Just random acts of chaos. Ra's Al Ghul had a plan, The Joker of Batman 1989 had a plan, The Penguin of Batman Returns had a plan. This weirdo had nothing but bluff. Plus he's has no fun with what he does and spends most of the time ridiculously philosophizing like those corny emo-goth kids that smoke copious amounts of cigarettes while yapping about the misery of their lives. You complete me? That's about as cheesy as the Tumbler turning into a crappy motorcycle. Speaking of Emo-Goth kids that exactly what this Joker is. Only people actually find him cool instead of pathetic.
Action sequences: predictable to a fault. Car chase and fights scenes plus they are quite unrealistic. People get punched, kicked, shot, bitten by dogs and knocked around by explosions and walk away without bumps, bruises, cuts or blood. Now, Im not a gore hound but if you get shot or bitten by a dog, I would expect to see some blood. Not in the Dark Knight though.
Pacing: The movie builds up a pace to slow it down after wards and with all the action on the screen the movie still finds time to be boring. Plus at 2 hours and 32 minutes this movie feels longer than it needs to be. Various subplots that never connect best describe most of this movie.
Conclusion: The Dark Knight is the most overrated, most hypocritical, most pretentious piece of garbage in the history of cinema. The only people that would like this are the fanboys and I cant believe that people are trouncing Tim Burton's Batman movies to foam at the mouth like rabid dog groupies over this overcooked sequel. You pseudo-intellectual snobs don't seem to realize that those movies were great for the time they were made in and they were fun. Tim Burton made the type of Batman movie he wanted to make without trying to please these shills. I must have seen the Tim Burton Batman movies more times than I can count and still have a ball watching them till this day. I saw this dreck three times and still couldn't get into it. Its not even fun. Its a plodding mess that gets more hype than it deserves. Matter of fact, I'll tell how much I didn't like it. For months I had The Dark Knight on my computer for free via z-share and when my computer suffered from a virus that force me to erase the whole thing, this was the only movie through z-share that I never tried to get back. That should tell you everything you need to know about my feelings on this movie. Two Thumbs down.