Disgusting, Vikander's superb work doesn't escalate this rubbish

Rating: 3/10 (29 February 2016)

You know whats better than this whole film? The 20-second skit Chris Rock and Tracy Morgan put on at the Oscars today. "I'M THE DANISH GIRL. THESE DANISHES IS GOOD GIRL!" (chomps Danish messily)
But unfortunately, this is the film we have to watch. Its worth saying that Vikander absolutely deserved her Oscar for this film. She's the best thing about the movie by far, and I fell even further in love with her (if possible) in the first frame of the film. She can convey more in a look than Redmayne ever could - disappointment, frustration, fervor, passion, sensuality, horror, shock and revulsion. She's so good at establishing chemistry with anyone she wants to, she has a Mark Ruffalo level of talent at scaling that chemistry back. We can see clearly as her chemistry with Redmayne crumbles and when she tearfully pleads for her husband to come back, you just want to reach in and console her.
Redmayne, on the other hand, portrays Lilli/Einar as an absolute jerk. Sure, Einar is gone but Lilli doesn't have to be a bitch about it. Redmayne spends most of the film reacting as he runs his fingers over women's clothing or his own body - the least subtle foreshadowing ever. Becoming transgender isn't a brainwashing process, Eddie, you're better than this! Redmayne's best work comes as he portrays Einar's trembling emotions. When he plays Lilli, he is just Eddie Redmayne in a wig with no effort to change his voice. Vikander carries 90% of their chemistry, with Redmayne not doing nearly enough to pull his weight. During one sex scene he just whimpers and simpers like a virgin about to be molested and it is completely disturbing.
The dialogue is a complete turd, full of awful lines like: - "It was like kissing myself." 0/10 for plagiarism from Back to the Future and terrible foreshadowing. - "Am I pretty enough?". Not Eddie, you're heart is too broken. - "You hurt Lilli!" Lilli isn't your imaginary friend you idiot. - "You're enabling him by not keeping a lock on your wardrobe. You know your husband is insane right?" Well that escalated quickly.
And the worst line of all - "I want to be a woman not a painter!" I almost think that Vikander's incredulous "can't you be both" was unscripted reaction to that dreadful line.
The film is dreadfully paced, with the final act in particular being a pain to live through. One should not look forward to the main character's death. Not even Vikander could salvage the final act, which was far too long and boring. Amber Heard has a wonderful cameo as Ulla, but here character is never explored enough to understand. The work behind the scenes is fine, especially nice costumes, but it can't salvage a sappy and disgusting film that I wish I'd never had to see.