So disappointing...

Rating: 4/10 (9 July 2006)

"So dark the con of man." The words of a dying man written on the Mona Lisa ring true for Da Vinci Code; I came out of the theater feeling like I had been conned into sitting through this mess of a film.
This movie follows a symbologist, a French cryptology expert, and a holy grail fanatic across Europe in a wild chase for truth. In good thriller fashion, they are pursued by a variety of colorful villains, such as an albino monk, a catholic sect famous for self mutilation, and half the French police force. Everything starts off with a gristly murder scene at the Louvre. World renowned symbology professor, Robert Langdon (possibly the most boring main character ever) is called in to evaluate this bizarre crime scene. What starts out as a long, albeit interesting episode of CSI, quickly turns into a tasteless thriller. I won't spoil any more of the plot, for those who have not yet seen this movie.
Unless you've been living in a remote cave for the past 2 years, you know that there is a huge amount of controversy surrounding The Da Vinci Code. One of the (many) failures of this film, is that everything seems like no big deal. They claim to reveal something that will shake the foundations of Christianity itself, but It never arrives. The director treats the subject matter as though he may offend someone. Well, guess what Ron? You have to ruffle some feathers to make amazing movies. It's just part of film-making.
The Da Vinci Code features one of the most star studded casts in recent memory. Sadly, almost no one delivers. What could have been an interesting and thought-provoking performance from Tom Hanks, comes out wooden and just plain bad. The delivery of half his lines is pitiful. Alfred Molina, who is always a safe bet, is awful as Opus Dei founder Bishop Aringosa. He portrays him with a ferocity that is not present in the book, and there's a reason for that. Paul Bettany and Audrey Tautou both show hints of promise, but overall are mediocre. Ian McKellen is the one bright spot here. He shines, despite the terrible dialog written for his character.
What really bothered me about The Da Vinci Code is this: The entire film is a tease. Everything in the movie hints of greatness, but everything also falls far short of it. Ian McKellen's performance shows us what all the actors should have done. Several sequences in the movie, (namely the flogging sequence with Silus) display Ron Howard's prowess as a director. The book hints at how amazing and controversial the script would have been, if the director had grown some balls. But all of these moments, last for about 30 seconds each. Instead, we are treated to a cookie-cutter thriller that isn't good. Ultimately, this movie fails on three fronts.
1: It fails as the intelligent mind trip which it so desperately wants to be.
2: It fails as the lightning fast page turner which the book is.
And 3: It fails as the summer blockbuster thriller, which it disappointingly becomes