"Turgid" comes to mind

Rating: 3/10 (4 June 2006)

Slow, boring, incomprehensible, silly in its premise, and no movement at all. By half-way through (about 5 hours), I no longer cared for any single character or plot trait. What a waste of time. Absolutely no character development, an incomprehensible plot, duologue which was stilted and unintelligible to a large part, and filmatography through a mud puddle. What's there to like? Locations in France? I did not at all enjoy the book, finding the ridiculous plot twist at the end of each chapter to be tiring. Naturally, I viewed the movie in a similar vein. But the movie was visually unappealing, slow in every aspect, and made no real sense. Sophie is the only, last, direct descendant of Christ? In 2000 years, the family tree comes down to one person? That can't be. It would have branched hundreds of times. So, the main plot twist is a virtual impossibility.