A Malign Mutation Spawned From A Surplus Of Talent

Rating: 1/10 (26 May 2006)

I loved Dan Brown's book. That being said, this movie should be a let down to anyone who enjoyed reading it.
This was the last possible outcome I expected from a corroboration of distinguished stars-- a tractor/train wreck. Who would have thought that a movie involving Ron Howard as director, Tom Hanks as star, Audrey Tautou (from 'Amelie' & Dirty Pretty Things) as co-star, and Akiva Goldsman as screenwriter, could have created such a 'distortion' of the original Dan Brown text? This very act could be compared with the Catholic Church's shameful distortion of the New Testament! All jabs to the holy rollers aside, this movie failed and was painful to watch.
The question that begs an answer is this: did Ron Howard actually direct any of this horrible acting? Tom Hanks was too nonchalant portraying the role of scholar on the run from a secret society and INTERPOL, not to mention all of France. I was convinced at one point he was a heroin addict who just checked out of a methadone clinic. He was that bad! And poor Audrey. . . I loved this woman in many of her previous roles. None of her talents were brought to the big screen for her American debut. Her charm, beauty, and wit- curiously absent from the film. This in itself is a crime against humanity. And I expected a hell of a lot more from Akiva Goldsman, who brought us the masterpiece, 'A Beautiful Mind'.
What went wrong, Ron? Did the Pope slip you a 'bad movie-making mickey' into your drink? Did Opus Dei members get together one dark evening by the light of the moon and chant Latin curses? Or perhaps. . .
It was just a fluke.
My one positive comment is this: this movie will incite conversation for years to come.