Cheesy and unconvincing

Rating: 5/10 (2 June 2006)

This is this year's most anticipated movie, with a lot of controversy surrounding it. So I had to see it. I read the book, and didn't think much of it (Angels and Demons being the better one). The movie is even worse. There were several moments I had the urge to walk away. Because of the cheesiness of the movie. Things like: "The letters are scrambled." "It's an anagram!" Tsssss. And it's such a long movie (2 1/2 hour) that goes on and on and on. Halfway the movie, when Langdon and Neveu are at Teabing's place, the answers to so many questions are given. This is where the ideas are laid out that make or break this story. Teabing (Ian McKellen) keeps talking and talking about how Jesus had kids with Mary Magdalen, and how the Church wants to destroy the royal bloodline of Jesus. I will not repeat that here. It's so unconvincing, that it immediately drowns this movie in its own nonsense. At the end of the film, when Langdon and Neveu say goodbye, there is an over-cheesy dialogue on faith, humanity and godliness. In the end a tribute is paid to Mary of Magdalen, who is the icon of freedom for all oppressed people in the world (especially women). I asked myself how Mary Magdalen could ever be of any meaning to oppressed people, the way it is put in this movie. And even, if you are willing to believe this, how Jesus' descendants could. The acting was pretty poor. Before seeing the movie I already wondered why they had cast Tom Hanks. And after seeing it I wonder even more. In the book the ideas about ancient symbols were more or less interesting (even though it's really 'sensation-science'). But with Hanks uttering them, they are completely unconvincing. Audrey Tautou as Sophie Neveu is a good choice. But whereas her self-chosen naiveté in Amelie, and her blind faith in Un Long Dimanche de Fiancailles, gave her performance strength and depth, in this movie she seems to be clueless about her own identity. The quest for the holy grail is her quest in that she discovers who she is. But it seems that she herself does not really believe the story that she is a descendant of Jesus and Mary. Paul Bettany as Silas the albino monk is utterly annoying. He is self-flagellating throughout the movie, and otherwise too, he is miserable. There is no humanity in his character whatsoever, and it makes him unrealistic. Ian McKellen as Leigh Teabing is alright. This movie is completely humorless. It takes itself too serious. You have to either accept it, or decline. I decline.