Simultaneously Boring and Preposterous!

Rating: 1/10 (20 May 2006)

What in heaven's name could director Ron Howard have been smoking when he made this turkey. Akiva Goldsman should be banned from ever writing another screenplay. What a joke it is, and how unutterably dull and uninteresting this whole movie is. Howard has not only ruined whatever there was in the book which made it one of the best sellers of all time, he has even managed to ruin scenes of Paris and London! That's almost impossible to do, but Howard has pulled it off. How bad was this movie? Well, at one point I was laughing out loud at the serious parts, that's how bad. At another point it struck that Howard was stealing scenes from "Sean of the Living Dead", a movie that is far better than Howard's Turkey.
As for the actors, Tom Hanks was extraordinarily dull. Jean Reno was, if anything, even worse - and I'm a Jean Reno fan! He brings new meaning to the word "boring." I can only fault Ian McKellen for not having taken one of his walking stick props and beating Hanks, Reno, and especially Howard half to death. Audrey Tatou was an inoffensive cipher. She needs to return to France and leave Hollywood as far behind as possible. Paul Bettany's career is on the inevitable artistic downhill now that he's involved with Hollywood. It's bizarre, but like many Brits he insists on blowing off any attempt at artistry the second he get a whiff of Uncle Sam's greenbacks. Enjoy the cash, Paul.
Hey, buy the book. It's not great, but it's not a totally bad read. But avoid the movie like the plague. If the Christian protesters ever find out how bad this movie is they'll be encouraging people to see it! Now that's bad.