Stinker

Rating: 2/10 (17 May 2006)

I thought it would be a good ride. At the very least, I thought I'd get some good real estate porn and a few sly thrills. At least it was a free screening.
It's truly terrible. In fact, it's one of the worst movies I've ever seen.
Paul Bettany is embarrassing in ways that are hard to fathom. Tom Hanks looks constipated. Audrey Tautou is okay. Not even Ian McKellen can save it. The script is god-awful and the direction is clumsy.
Now I know the novel is crap, too, but it's disposable like a good roller coaster ride. Robert Ludlum is no great literary artist but even his books can get made into crackerjack fun (the Bourne series).
In a nutshell, this movie is jejune!
Will curiosity still lure you in? I hope not.