Bland Blockbuster

Rating: 1/10 (17 July 2006)

I personally never managed to get past the few pages of the hugely successful source novel and now I no longer feel the need to. After watching this bland and cinematically challenged 2 1/2 hour regurgitation, I feel I've done enough time on the cross.
Fundamentally, this is a B movie with an A-list budget. You'd be forgiven, however, for wondering where all that money went after the world famous locations were secured. Flashbacks are told with an amateurish acid-wash Digital Video look (easily achievable with a camcorder and a good software program), chase scenes are poorly shot and badly montaged, while the atmosphere is nil as each setting is quickly established and then followed by exposition. Then talk. Then more exposition. And then more talk. You can imagine what this does for the pacing. Only the leads appear tireless as they scramble around from location to location without ever seeming run down at any point. Rather impressive when you consider that the time frame of the story only stretches from night to the following day, during which they've covered numerous landmarks in Paris and London. As for the performances, Tom Hanks sleeps walks his way to another multi-million dollar paycheck, Audrey Tatou does herself no favours by showcasing her heavily accented and sometimes unintelligible English, while the others ham it up like Pantomime baddies.
This movie will be hard going for anyone unfamiliar with the book and will probably incense those who are familiar with it. If you do feel a burning need to see this, then rent (preferably borrow) the DVD - at least you'll have the comfort of falling asleep in your own home.