Ain't No Masterpiece

Rating: 4/10 (29 May 2006)

Starring Tom Hanks. Directed by Ron Howard. With Alfred Molina and Ian Mckellen. A movie with credits like that should be an embarrassment of riches. Instead it's a talky cloak-and-dagger chase film, interspersed with jerky flashbacks and faulty accents.
By now, most people know the plot. Tom Hanks headlines as Robert Langdon, a Harvard professor asked to solve the murder of a Louvre curator. The curator has left a series of clues, written in blood, that lead Langdon, along with cute tag-along Sophie Neveu (Tatou, struggling with her first major English role) to uncover a vast conspiracy. Oh, but it's not just any conspiracy. This cover-up involves a Catholic sect (Molina hams it up as a sinister bishop), an Albino assassin (played with quiet menace by Paul Bettany), a crippled history buff (Mckellen, excellent as usual), and a shocking secret hidden in DaVinci's "The Last Supper". The book, heavy on history and light on action, was great in small doses. But a non-stop 150 minutes spent listening to Hanks describe the time of Christ amounts to a much less enjoyable experience. The film never shakes from its somber tone, and director Howard tries to cut down on the talking by using grainy flashbacks that look like a high school production of Hamlet. Devotees of the book will find this a forgettable thriller that stays faithful to its source. Everyone else will be let down by a great director and a great cast, who produce an average film.