I Tried So Hard to Like This Movie

Rating: 3/10 (20 May 2006)

While Paul Bettany's portrayal as Silas was the best of the film, my mother and I agreed that Jean Reno was the only reason we didn't walk out of the theater. We've been madly in love with him since "Leon." Tom Hanks was about as warm and convincing as a Popsicle stick, Audrey Tatou seemed to be in a separate scene even when standing next to him, and Ian McKellan was hard for me to see as Teabing. Most disappointing were Howard's seemingly unnecessary deviations and story changes. I can understand a few tweaks to make it more "popcorn friendly" but complete rewriting of Sophie's family history made the story seem unnatural and heavy as a lead balloon.
Countless people in the theater glanced at their cell phones to check the time because the movie seemed to drag, and when they weren't doing that they were snickering at the unbelievably wooden and absurd dialogue.
Will I buy it on DVD? Yes, but only when I come across what I am sure will be countless used and marked down copies.