When Troglodytes Pay a Fortune for Painted Dung Balls

Rating: 1/10 (29 August 2008)

Honestly, the movie's chances were much compromised from the beginning, since the text made by D.B. is one of the most incredible samples of trash ever printed. The content is plagiarized, the story preposterously unlikely, the structure chaotic, the storytelling awkward and amateurish, the style childish - all in all, a boring piece of editorial imposture. THIS is what matters, not the false religious controversy. The church made a ludicrous mistake by triggering all that scandal, which only enriched the product with some hefty negative publicity. Let's made it clear: THERE IS NO HERESY INVOLVED. Such a vision towards the life and heritage of Jesus could be absolutely pious and respectable, as long as it's done in a honorably professional way. The only heresy involved is the insult to serious writing.
Unfortunately, the movie is even worse. Slow paced, messily narrated, hilarious in all the places that should have been serious and thoughtful. Ron Howard, a director with a mediocre knowledge of the trade, proved time and again that he has no feeling of action and thrills. Further, now he stepped into history by the incredible performance of being the first director able to make Tom Hanks act poorly (fake, histrionic, shallow).
And as a sure sign that the Hollywood moguls lost it totally, this shameful piece of garbage is now spawning its own sequel - based on the equally moronic prequel in print: "Angels and Demons". Troglodytes, prepare to squander your money over one more item of non-cinema. Decent movie-goers, be smart: wait for a DVD-rip and download it from the hubs or the torrents. In this case, such an attitude would be LEGITIMATE.