DaVinci is NOT Da Bomb --- it's just a wet firecracker.

Rating: 1/10 (22 May 2006)

It has been said that when God created man, he put definite limits on his intelligence but no limits on his stupidity.
Dan Brown with both his book and now this flaccid excuse for a movie has certainly proved that to be correct.
He's got to be laughing his rear end off at all of us; all the way to the bank.
Here's a guy who wrote a novel (if you can call that collection of mangled sentences a novel) that did little more than express his distorted personal views of a God he doesn't believe in and his distaste for people who do believe.
Take Adolph Hitler's hatred of Jews in "Mein Kampf," add a weak story line and call it a novel and you'll have what Dan Brown did with his hatred of Jesus Christ, the Bible, Christians in general and Catholics in particular in "The DaVinci Code." I'll give him credit for one thing though; he's a master of the BIG LIE.
He seems to fully understand that the bigger and more outrageous a lie is, the easier it is to get people to fall for it. P. T. Barnum understood that and made a career out of telling big lies in a humorous way. It worked. The public was entertained and he got rich in the process.
By comparison, Dan Brown's big lies are neither humorous nor entertaining, they're just lies; period.
Regarding those who have the audacity to protest against Dan's lies, (like the people that were standing across the street from the movie theater holding signs) the DaVinci disciples are fond of saying "Hey, get a grip. It's just FICTION!" As if that makes it all OK. With that kind of thinking you can then tell any lie you want about anyone you want; call it fiction, and you can get away with it -- right?
Try this one on for size. Someone writes a novel about your family; your mother, father etc. and all the people you love and respect. In the novel your family members and all your friends are called whores, liars, thieves, and murders. When you protest, you're told "Get a grip!! It's just FICTION!" I wonder if you would accept it as such; ya think?
Yea, I know. The book was a mildly interesting murder mystery. If that had been translated to the screen, perhaps it could have been given at least two stars for entertainment value. Not so.
This flick is so dull you'll need a six pack of "Jolt" just to stay awake. People in the audience actually snickered at some of the supposedly most serious and dramatic moments in the film.
I really can't give it much of a review at all; it was just too over hyped, too long, too weak and too dull to even deserve commenting on.
I can't grace this slug of a film with anything more than one star. I guess Ron and Tom needed the money. If you value yours, stay home and watch a rerun of "Shoes of the Fisherman." It inspires something a lot more productive than Dan's hokum does; that fer sure.
What's next? Maybe Dan will follow this up with a novel about Mother Theresa of Calcutta. Yea, "The Calcutta Code." In it he'll give us the inside scoop on how Mother Theresa was actually a conspirator and together with today's descendants of DaVinci she was really planning to take over the world. All that business of helping the poor for over forty years was just a cover up.
Like Dan, Ron and Tom will laugh all the way to the bank. Why? Because almost no one will pay any attention to the negative (but honest) reviews of this dog and they'll still cough up their bucks at the box office window.
This overflowing hog trough will probably be nominated for six or seven academy awards. Sigh. Go figure.