Sorry, But The Da Vinci Code Is Average

Rating: 5/10 (3 June 2006)

Time to face reality, folks. Regardless of your feelings on religion, the Da Vinci Code is just a long, slow, boring yawn-fest. The amount of talking and yapping and jabbering in this movie was borderline painful. The story is ridiculous when you look back on it. If you wanted someone to know they were a descendant of Christ, would you:
A) Write a silly anagram for "Da Vinci" in an obscure place for someone to figure out, then go to Da Vinci's painting and write "so dark the con of man" in writing you can't see without an ulta-special light, and hope the person is with a professor who knows what it means (even while the professor is being ruthlessly hunted and endangered)? or
B) Simply walk up to the person and say, "Hey, you're a descendant of Christ. Pretty cool, eh?"
Hmm...now, I don't know about you, but I would go with choice B. No rational person would ever, ever do anything like choice A. However, without planting a bunch of stupid codes everywhere, there would be no story and no movie, so we as an audience have to suffer through the oh-so-clever Hanks et all dissect all the ridiculous clues, so we can finally go home. Sound like fun? Well, it's kind of interesting I guess, and maybe I'm going too hard on it, but it just felt drawn-out and talky to me. See it if you care.