Mr. Howard Throws a Gutter Ball!

Rating: 3/10 (31 May 2006)

I'll give it a 3 out of 10, just because they used so much film! It's way too long, too dark, too boring and when the big punchline comes where Hanks says to the cute brunette; without spoiling or causing you to not read this, telling the girl the succinct, 'breaking news' of the movie...it's entirely laughable. Wow! How can a director (Howard) be given such a powerful opportunity to dig up something from the past, that's new and original to a society so well informed that, prior to the release, has such captivating interest from the public, only to have it blown on such a boring, fragmented, uninteresting movie as this! (For Mr. Ron Howard:) Now, if the plot had been let's say...that some archeologists had found the hidden, buried head that Jacob buries beneath an oak tree (Gen: 35) which his wife, Rachel had stolen (Gen. 31:19) from her father so that he (Laban) couldn't go to his graven image and find out where they (Jacob; wives Leah and Rachel; all their children and all the others) had gone...which graven image, according to the Book of Jasher (Parry & Sons, 1887, Salt Lake City, UT)which is referenced (Jasher) twice in the Old Testament which says "...graven images were created by slaying a first born male, decapitating the head and placing a gold or copper plate under the tongue...that will devinate the answer to any question asked...THEN, Mr. Howard, you would have had a story!!! And a plot line! Mr. Howard: Please see "Graven Image" by author RF Hawthorne. Then, Mr. Howard you will have a gripping, Hollywood, Bible based movie that NO ONE yet has a clue about which is just waiting for some bright and brilliant Hollywooder to grab and run with!