Forest Gump with Progeria

Rating: 1/10 (1 June 2009)

There isn't a single plot point in this pig that doesn't correspond directly to "Forest Gump." The best imagery was also stolen from "Gump". Those deep south accents were too charming to lose so Fincher just moved the bulk of the action over a state or two. Instead of "Life is like a box of chocolates, You never know what you're gonna get" there is "You never know what's comin for you" or something like that. It really doesn't matter. Instead of a floating feather we are given a fluttering hummingbird and balloon for good measure. Fincher moved the story back a few decades so instead of the Viet Nam war we have WW2. Instead of shrimp boat we have a tugboat. There is the sudden unexpected windfall. And at the core is the on again, off again relationship with the wild, "damaged goods" childhood sweetheart. Of course the star crossed lovers finally get together long enough to conceive a child but, tragically, one of them abandons the other all too soon. Etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum. Brad Pitt's credibility wears off as he is slowly stripped of his make up. The epilogue feels like a United Way commercial. However, overall the production is glossy and visually well constructed. Usually I will give a film at least a 5-7 if the technical aspects are as good as these. But I was so appalled I am reluctant to give it any stars at all. The only reason I sat through the whole 2 hours and 46 minutes is so I could discuss how bad this really is. A friend defended "Button" by stating that this movie is "like 'Magnolia'. You either love it or you hate it." I disagree. I hated "Magnolia" but at least it had an original script. David Fincher's cred is spent as far as I am concerned. I can't believe he got away with it.