Why, David... Why?

Rating: Null/10 (2 April 2009)

I don't understand. I don't get it...
If you wanted an award so badly you should have come to me. I would have given you an Oscar for Se7en, Fight Club, The Game, Zodiac... your amazing movies have your beautiful, one-of-a-kind visuals and outrageous twists. Hell I would have given you an Oscar just for the Rolling Stones' trippy "Love Is Strong" video. Everything you've done up to "Button" was genius...
But David Fincher's "Curious Case of Benjamin Button" was a serious case of Academy-Fever, a disease for which there is no cure. Brad Pitt stars as an Old Baby who ages backward- a fantastic concept which only two characters in the film even notice. Brilliant CGI is used to transform Benjamin from dull elderly cripple to dull Kennedyesque hottie and- like screenwriter Eric Roth's other vapid creation Forrest Gump- Button does and says as little as possible in a heroic attempt to stay BLANK. (I don't want to give away the ending but he wins.)
Besides boasting one of my favorite directors and favorite actors this movie also stars one of my favorite actresses- Cate Blanchett- who gets to dance with the body of a 19 year old. I've never seen a picture so visually rich with so little to say... what's the premise of "Button?" That youth is wasted on the young? Benji gets the best of both worlds but still manages to avoid smiling. I barely made it through the movie's 2:46 run-time and I cannot think of a reason to ever sit through it again.
Today's lesson: even Gods stumble. Please, Mr. Fincher: go back to making films of violence and depravity and schizophrenia...
You know, for the kids...
GRADE: D