Not worth your time. super-yawn.

Rating: 1/10 (24 December 2008)

Groucho Marx said there's no worse thief than a bad movie. (steals your money and your time) and that's exactly what this film is.
Do not, I repeat, do not tolerate the comparisons to Forrest Gump - a film filled with history, humor!, star-studded cast, a solid script, jam packed with history, one clever gimmick after the other and brilliant effects.
Spoiler - Benjamin Button had one effect, that was make-up: Take one of the world's most attractive men and make him look unattractive for 75% of the film, while he moans and groans about the deal he's been dealt in life. don't get me wrong, they did this well, but he's never sympathetic. Y'just don't care about him at all... to be honest, the whole film struck me as a giant, drawn-out metaphor for a midlife crisis: a man pines after a girl who's not ready for him for years and years, then when she finally takes him into her bed, they spend a glorious year between the sheets, and as soon as responsibility shows up in the form of a child, he runs away from commitment, blaming his condition. And what's the big deal with his condition??? So his body is getting younger.. not his mind. That would actually make him a great father... he'd be around for the same number of years as many fathers are for their children.. 30/40 years, and during that time he'd only have gotten stronger and younger, while his mind was still maturing. What a gift! Great, cherish it! Live it! Accept your lot in life, challenges and all, and be a remarkable human being. That's the challenge laid upon us all.
But no - Instead of facing his problem and taking on life and love and cherishing every moment, he lets down the woman he loves terribly and runs out on her, for what? to have sex with a few women? Preposterous.
And then of course, when he comes back, she forgives him for being a coward and a stinker. Well why? Why be so forgiving. What's so tough about his life, oh poor guy, he gets to get younger everyday, he gets to get stronger and better looking as he sleeps.. where was the appreciation of this miracle? Where were the papers who would have been making a big deal over him? Where was the major history that he lived through which we never saw? Where were his amazing slew of life experiences, we watched 90 years of a man's life and all he did was run and hide from who he was. Where was a p-l-o-t? - the guy had no appreciation for the people who loved him, never knew his mother was sick? Nope, just came home one day to find she'd died. Did he not stay in touch with anyone? He did have a sister. I guess she didn't want to call to let him know their mother was ill? Clearly no one cared enough about him to tell him. Classic. Well if they don't, I don't either. And why did Cate's character keep his postcards from their daughter once the journal was found? Made no sense. Cate moved into the house and lived with him for 5 years as he went through Alzheimer's as an infant - where was Julia's character during this time? Also not speaking to anyone? Was she not curious why her mother chose to spend 5 years of her life this way? Why did she never tell her about her father? Why did I watch this piece of drivel and waste my time??? Save yourself the agony.
I'm sorry F. Scott Fitzgerald. I'm sure you wrote a lovely short story. But that's all it was, a short story, and should have remained so. Before someone drags out your piece to a 3 hour sedative they ought to maybe actually write a s-t-o-r-y to justify the running time.
**Watch the trailer**. That's all you need. And really, do watch it. It's interesting, it's pretty to look at, and really that's the entire story right there, a minute-and-a-half, you can see all of the make-up and special effects, you can pretend you've seen the film, cause nothing more happens - save yourself 3 hours and go spend time with your family instead, appreciate the gift of life instead of squandering it on bad films, or watch a different movie, (ooh, Juno, that was a good flick with an actual script - about dealing with life, hardships and all without boring people to tears), or go bang your head against a wall, something remotely entertaining. Brad, Cate, Julia, you're wonderful, all of you, the whole cast, you're lovely, you got pummeled by a lousy non-script and mind-blowingly uninspired direction. I'm sorry for you all.