Awful..

Rating: 2/10 (7 December 2009)

When I think back to the experience of watching this sorry piece of crap, I feel NOTHING. My sister (who also hated it) said rather optimistically it had 'a good message'. And what would that be, a freak who is born as an 80 year old and ages backwards until he dies as a baby can live as boring a life as the rest of us? Let's see now.. he learns how to play the piano, gets adopted by a black woman, falls in love with a red-haired girl, goes out to sea on a tugboat, abandons his daughter when she is born to mop some floors in India.. sorry, none of these little incidents and worth sitting through 3 hours of tedious drama for. Plus, Brad Pitt's narration is utterly irritating and pointless, and Cate Blanchett's character with her extremely fake New Orleans accent and shrill personality will make you wonder what Mr Button ever sees in her.
The highlight of my trip to the cinema was leaving for 10 minutes to get myself a hot-dog and giant Pepsi Max at the foyer, sadly there wasn't a very long queue so I was back a lot sooner than I'd like to have been. In fact, as the rubbish plot unfurled and the couple with the least amount of chemistry I've seen in a long time spouted their soap opera dialogue to each other, I noticed small things, like the gum under my seat and how many tiles there was in the ceiling. Anything to stave off the boredom from David Fincher's cure for insomnia. Is this really the same guy who directed that brilliant film Seven? I thought Fight Club was overrated, but compared to this it was frinkin' Casablanca.
What more can I say? Clumsy metaphors (Check out the clock that goes backwards) bad child actors (Cate Blanchett as a little girl is HORRENDOUS) no humour (apart from one brief scene with a prostitute.. sorry 'sex worker') all deserve a mention, but nothing, I repeat NOTHING can prepare you for the absolute stone dead monotony of sitting through the lame-brained, pathetic long slog of a motion picture. What is it the critics can see that I can't? I honestly don't care. What I do know is while it was on I wish, like the main protagonist I could age 28 years, regress back to being a baby and then climb back inside the womb for a bit of peace. Nice & dark in there, and no boring, inconsequential films with a bloated sense of their own importance to bother me. Pass me the pacifier. SUCK SUCK. 2/10