Just the worst

Rating: 4/10 (28 November 2018)

Before I launch into the many negative things I have to write about this movie, I'm going to start with the positive elements of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
First, it was cinematically stunning. Visually, it was breathtaking. The money spent on this movie was worth it...to the eyes.
Second...well, there isn't a second positive thing I can point out.
That's right. I am so disappointed in this film that I am literally typing this minutes after leaving the theater.
Where to begin...
There are numerous small things that bothered me about the movie, but didn't necessarily HURT the film. It was entirely too long. And for the length, there was never enough to make me care about the characters. However, the main small component that bothered me is Brad Pitt's complete inability to act. Not that the script called for him to do much, other than look beautiful when he reached the right age, and he did that wonderfully. However, he had very little script with which recite, so when he did, it was mostly in soft-spoken mumbles. And he pulled it off just fine. However, if he gets nominated for an Oscar, I will officially boycott it. There is NOTHING Brad Pitt did in this movie for which he should be nominated. It's pathetic enough that he got a Golden Globe nomination. He did a fine job, but I can name double-digit numbers of performances that deserve recognition over this one.
Those small things didn't destroy the film for me though.
No, what I absolutely hated about this movie was...the script.
The screenplay, based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald, which I have not read but I hear is SO different than this movie that it was hard to even compare the two. The screenplay was written by Forrest Gump penner, Eric Roth. And how he got away with submitting this script proves that all Hollywood is interested in doing is rehashing popular movies or concepts from the past. And, like lambs to the slaughter, viewers are being sucked in.
So let's compare the job Eric Roth did in Forrest Gump and the work he did with The Curious Case of Benjamin Button...

Forrest Gump centers around the life story of a very a unique male character, complete with all the lessons learned therein. So does Benjamin Button. In both, that central male character narrates his own story.
Forrest Gump has a very strong motherly character that has a very strong influence on the type of person he becomes. So does Benjamin Button. In fact, they both even have a mother-coined catch phrase repeated throughout the movie. In Forrest, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get." In Button, momma always said, "You never know what's coming for you."
Forrest Gump had "Lieutenant Dan" on the SS Jenny. Benjamin had "Captain Mike" on the SS Chelsea.
Forrest is in love with Jenny who enters, exits and re-enters his life on a regular basis. Benjamin is in love with Daisy who enters, exits and re-enters his life on a regular basis.
Forrest becomes insecure and scared when he realizes he's about to be a father with Jenny. Benjamin becomes insecue and scared when he realizes he's about to be a father with Daisy.
Forrest interacts with historical figures throughout his story and finds himself in wartime situations. Benjamin finds himself in wartime situations and crossing paths with seemingly historical figures, like the first woman to swim the English Channel and Daisy herself being the first American to be invited to dance with the Bolshoi.
Lieutenant Dan talks about trying out his "sea legs" when Forrest asks him why he's on the boat. When Benjamin wants to join Captain Mike's boating crew, Captain Mike asks him if he has his sea legs.
This one may sound like a stretch, but how often does a script call for a character to announce so blatantly that they need to go pee. Well, Forrest did unexpectedly while in a conversation with John F Kennedy, while Daisy unexpectedly announces to Benjamin in the middle of a conversation that SHE needs to go pee.
A couple of times in Forrest Gump, a floating feather takes center-screen symbolically representing how we float through life and how things happen because they are meant to happen. A couple of times in Benjamin Button, a hummingbird unexpectedly takes center-screen to symbolically represent...well, you get the picture.
I could go on, but I'm too disgusted to.
It's plagiarism...or is it just Mad Libs with all the main subjects and names replaced with new ones?
I'm sorry...a good movie starts with a good script. And if the SAME screenwriter writes essentially the SAME script from a previously popular movie, feeds it to me and thinks I'm simple enough to swallow it, I'm going to notice it. And it will remove any ability for me enjoy the film. No matter how many intentional heart-tugging moments this film tries toshove down our throats, I wasn't able to be affected by any emotion in the movie or connect with any of the characters. In fact, the only performance even remotely interesting was the one of Taraji P Henson, who plays Benjamin's adopted mother, Queenie.
No matter how visually beautiful this film was, and that was the only reason I gave this a 2, this is 3 hours of my life I will never get back.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is indeed a curious case. I'm curious how this thing was greenlit.