An Exercise in Complete, Cynical Pointlessness

Rating: 1/10 (8 February 2009)

On here, I've read a lot of reviews from users who abhor this film, and they give their reasons for hating it. The truth is, this film isn't bad - it's certainly not an awful film. It's just a film that's ultimately pointless and a complete waste of time; literally considering that's what the film's central plot device is.
Think of it like this; you're listening to somebody talk - say, a politician - and this politician goes on and on and on, and he tries to explain things that we already know for 3 straight hours. Then suddenly he stops and the speech is over. What have we learnt from this speech? Absolutely nothing.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is exactly the same. It's a film that tries to tell us something (at length) but ultimately says nothing we didn't already know outside of some paraphrased, ersatz-Confucian drivel you'd find in any fortune cookie - "all we are is dust in the wind, dude", etc.
By no means am I stating the film is terrible, mind you. I'm stating explicitly that this film is completely pointless. It tries to teach us something but from the teachings we learn nothing. It's a film with all the good intentions at heart, it's a film about morality and existence, and understanding what's important while we are all still alive - but it's nothing we didn't already know, frankly.
Pretentious, condescending, tedious, heart-achingly melodramatic and ultimately a complete waste of time, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a film that - whilst avoiding blatant and obvious cliché with a potentially unique premise for a story, offers the viewer nothing new with its message.
Ironic, really, that a film whose central message is to tell me that I shouldn't waste my time on earth has resulted in me wasting three hours of my time on this earth watching it.