Hey! Where'd my $9.50 go? And 2.5 hours??

Rating: 3/10 (27 December 2008)

Are you kidding me with this stuff? My bladder and I were kept captive for 2.5 hours+ on this ridiculously overplayed (and overplayed, and overplayed, ...) exercise of recycled Hollywood "let's be Southern 'cuz it's so 2008" film format. It was Forrest Gump without the story, genuine content, or as another previous opinionite wrote, purpose. I know Brad, Cate, and the rest of the cast meant well, but lil' hint to the director(s): screen people for their ability to consistently portray a true southern accent (let alone narrate it). Let's not even get into the list of intricacies of southern etiquette that were mis-represented. But that's getting too fine-tuned too quickly. If I have to see one more movie with someone at their deathbed recounting an impossibly absurd line of events with an increasingly (false) southern accent, I'm gonna insist plastic bags are handed out when you get your ticket torn. And by the by, next time you look up at the complimentary hospital room TV screen and see a hurricane that fills about 90% of the Gulf of Mexico, get your and your Momma's ass up out of of there instead of lighting a cigarette in the hall (it's 2008 A.D. people, not the 70's). Throwing a Katrina angle on this was cheap, stupid, and poorly done. I'm not sure who the amazing "critics" were who gave this one anything above a D+, but as usual, I'm reminded to trust my instincts instead of their thin, little sails that sail on the Santa Anna winds. P.S. Is there not a single good wig person in Hollywood? The make-up in this thing was uber-cheesy.