you've been in this spook house before

Rating: 4/10 (17 November 2013)

Several of my friends had recommended this title to me so, being an aficionado of horror movies, I sprung for the HD pay-per-view and now wish I had waited for Netflix instead because at least my disappointment would have been less costly. For openers, there's a scene involving a couple of young women roommates from 1968 who have this hideous doll in their apartment which has apparently been inhabited by a demon...that they invited. What this has to do with the rest of the film is somewhat vague,nor does it even seem a reasonable premise,however the real question is why would 2 otherwise seeming normal young women obtain this grotesquely disfigured toy and then apparently invite a deceased person to inhabit it .... it"s a small part of the film but nonetheless indicative of the annoying overall slapdash effort involved in the entire movie. The film references such classics as "The Exorcist", "The Birds", "The Amityville Horror" and a classic Twilight Zone episode, yet only suffers from these allusions by comparison. The story allegedly takes place in 1971 however the set design is fairly unconvincing in that regard. I remember 1971 vividly and it was a time of bright colors as opposed to the faded, muted palette employed here. Yeah, I understand that this effect was intended in all likelihood for some sort of perceived horror ambiance although it seems that it would have been more effective to transition from bright hues initially to a more burned out darker setting as the saga allegedly descends into horror-mode. Cheesy carnival B-movie spook house effects pervade this production, but again lacking the kitschy charm frequently displayed in the aforementioned venues. The characters are little more than sketches of real people who ultimately only come off as pawns in a Satan vs. God chess game. The Conjuring is deeply unsatisfying and the scariest part is that I dropped $5.99 for HD pay-per-view on this turkey.