The Exorcist + Amityville + true story gimmick = YAWN

Rating: 3/10 (18 July 2013)

Take a bunch of random tired horror movie themes, pile them on a plate and reheat them in a microwave for 112 minutes. Pull out your plate and you've got a steaming smelly lump called "The Conjuring". This movie is unapologetically derivative, and wildly tangential. You've got Satan, witches, ghosts, psychics, and spooky dolls all mashed together in a predictable jump scare laden plot that goes nowhere except to cliché town. Really the only thing scary about this movie is how I was conned into seeing it by marketing firms hiring shills to write glowing 10/10 reviews and inflate ratings on various sites. You've already seen this movie several times over. Unfortunately nothing new was brought to the table here, the only thing conjured was ten dollars out of my wallet.