Did I see the same movie as everyone else?

Rating: 4/10 (14 December 2005)

Considering all the glowing reviews on this site, I'm beginning to wonder if I saw the same movie as everyone else. IMO, this movie was just bad. I am disappointed, but in a way not surprised, because I remember reading this book when I was younger and really enjoying it-- not surprised because the previews looked bad as well.
I'm going to say first off that the whole x-tian allegory thing didn't bother me in the slightest. Although I'm not x-tian per se, I do enjoy reading the bible on my free time and have no problem discussing x-tian issues with other people; in fact, I love doing so. That said, this movie was just too blatant. In fact, it was laughable. I recall the book being a lot subtler than the movie, and I get the impression that they made the movie this way intentionally (to attract the lucrative x-tian market). And what an allegory! If Aslan is supposed to be Jesus, what on earth was he doing fighting in a war and killing people? Wasn't Jesus the one who said, "turn the other cheek?" And Aslan's sacrifice wasn't exactly pure to say the least. It had a lot more to do with fulfilling the prophecy (ie, making the four humans survive) than actual charity. One wonders if he would have bothered had it been anybody else (probably not, since he was killing characters left, right and center in the movie). There are more.. but I won't bother. Needless to say, Santa handing out lethal weapons to children had me laughing out loud (much like the rest of the movie).
But terrible allegories aside (these are forgivable, and I'm sure justifiable, since almost anything is justifiable in religion), this movie was bad on many technical levels as well: 1) The acting was wooden. Lucy in particular was just terrible. The only bright spot, in terms of acting, was the Witch. She was actually quite convincing (minus her horrible wardrobe).
2.) The CGs were awful. The movie honestly felt like it was made in 1997 and not 2005. The green screens were poor (I'm being kind here). The cg characters were badly made (wooden) and lacked any kind of life. It's pretty bad when in almost every scene you think to yourself, "wow that looks pretty fake." And the wolves were particularly bad because they kept switching between real dogs and fake wolves. It was quite distracting "oh, real dogs again.. nope fake ones now". The one scene I was impressed by was the one where the two girls are walking with Aslan in the Forest. That was well made (although, my memory might be playing tricks on me).
3.) Many of characters came across as creepy.. but not in that acceptable kind of creepy, but in a pedophilic kind of way. Honestly, when Lucy meets Mr. Tumnus, I was really expecting him to jump on her (although, I knew he wasn't). The same can be said about the Witch, although to a lesser degree, in her first scene.
Had it not been for these problems, the movie might have been great (the story is actually pretty interesting).. but bad and sometimes creepy acting, bad effects, and blatantly exaggerated allegories (that are bad too), wreck this movie and make it terrible in that "showgirls" kind of way (although, I think showgirls was intentionally made as an ironic comedy). In fact, my friend and I were laughing so hard during this movie, that one person sitting next to us actually moved.
I mean come on, how can you not laugh at a movie that has Santa giving a bunch of kids totally lethal weapons, and tries to do so with a straight face?