Drained of tension, preachy, irrelevant to the war, & showing its age

Rating: 4/10 (24 March 2010)

So World War II, the biggest event of the century, just ended and the best film topic they had was a fictional mutiny on an tow ship that does nothing? You couldn't find any compelling real-life stories, eh?
Tsk tsk. This courtroom drama could be interesting if the viewers are kept in doubt as to the guilt or innocence of the accused, for example in 12 Angry Men (1957). But the first half of the film demonstrates it clearly, at a very slow pace. Humphrey Bogart, the subject of the mutiny, doesn't even come onto the ship for 30 minutes.
Then, he's supposed to be crazy but the way it's dramatized and acted just isn't that thrilling. Even the scene where they might lose the ship itself somehow is underdone, lacking the witty dialogue and tension of, for example, the mutinies in Crimson Tide (1995) or Star Trek (2009).
The courtroom scenes are pretty lackluster as well. The actors involved don't seem to get very heated and that communicates. The romantic side plot adds nothing. The side plot with Fred MacMurray is supposed to be a shocker but is both telegraphed beforehand and brushed off as nothing afterwards. Also, I'm sorry to say it, but thrillers and special effects have come a long way in 60 years. The film shows its age.
I would give the film a watchable 5 or 6 if it weren't for the preachy tone at the end. I won't spoil the ending for you, but the verbal sparring about incompetency vs. mental illness vs. duty vs. showing respect for those who sacrificed just didn't move me. (That being said, the high point of the film with Bogart's speech was dead on.)
I'm forced to give The Caine Mutiny an unwatchable 4 out of 10, sort of a bonus 5 for failing to do a WWII story that's in any way relevant or actual.