College students on a weekend getaway must fend off a zombie family sent to kill them by workers in an omnipresent control room.

Rating: 6/10 (8 April 2012)

This is coverage of the script I did for my class at Depaul University in Chicago.
SYNOPSIS:
DANA POLK, 20, and four of her college friends load up a Winnebago and set off to an isolated cabin for a weekend getaway. During this time members of an unnamed company prepare a control room full of monitors and buttons linked to the cabin. It is revealed that the cabin is the company's last chance to accomplish a currently unknown and specific task that has resulted in careful interest in the college students. En route to the cabin the group stops at a rundown gas station and is rudely confronted by the estranged owner whom we later learn works for the company. There is much flirtation amongst the kids that influences their room assignments in the cabin and raises anticipation for brutal killings during steamy make out sessions.
Early in the evening everyone is enjoying boozing and sexual promiscuousness but then Dana and the group venture to the cellar and unknowingly awaken a ZOMBIE family that proceeds to brutally murder the group one by one starting with JULES. Amidst panic and attempts to barricade the cabin's doors and windows, MARTY uncovers wires leading to video cameras immediately before his perceived death. Dana, CURT, and HOLDEN try driving out of the woods but workers in the control room demolish the only route back. Curt attempts to jump a ravine on a motorbike and it is then that Dana learns that someone else is controlling everything. She fights off a zombie as the Winnebago sinks into the lake and is met on the dock by MARTY.
Marty leads Dana down the same entrance the Zombies rose from. They travel down and side ways in an elevator passing a collection of various monsters. Dana infers that the monsters are summoned by whatever her and her touch in the cellar. The workers in the control room get wind that the two are still alive and send a swat team to finish them off. Dana and Marty unleash all the monsters via a master control button and amidst a slew of vicious killings the two escape to a ritualistic chamber. In the chamber the DIRECTOR of the company emerges and reveals that Dana, Marty, and their friends were objects in a human sacrifice to please Gods that rest beneath the earth's surface. The story ends with the God rising from the earth and the assumed end to humanity.
COMMENT:
This script sets itself apart from the typical teen slasher by using a unique concept not yet seen in the genre. Taking many elements from THE TRUMAN SHOW as well as many horror films this script for the most part successfully creates a viable blend of suspense, intrigue, and horror. With this being said this script is not without a big flaw. The motives of the antagonists are borderline absurd. Also the antagonist characters are poorly constructed. These blemishes can be fixed but this script requires a fair amount of work.
One of the most appealing aspects of this script is the development of the characters. Dana and Marty are both likable characters with a good amount of depth rarely seen in the genre. Marty's dialogue from the get go is rich and humorous. Dana is the stereotypical virgin survivor from nearly any horror but is a likable protagonist that, if worked on, could be a character audiences will love. The supporting cast is at times lackluster but does not need to be anything more than generic.
For the most part this script is solid. The most work that needs to be done lies in the development and motives of the protagonists. Audiences will be disappointed with the script's current ending. The company workers and directors must undergo changes to satisfy audiences beyond opening weekend. Basing the workers motives on underground Gods is far-fetched and not supported well in the script. Revealing this tidbit at the end of the film is an unnecessary curveball. Much work must be done to the antagonist's motives to alter the ending. An ending where both characters or the director survive will leave open the possibility for a sequel.
Overall this is a script riddled with potential to stand out amongst a cluttered genre. The current draft has a unique basis and provides two likable characters for audiences to root for. This script satisfies fans of slashers and those looking for a protagonist to live through. This being said the writers fumbled a few story elements and created lackluster antagonists but this can all be fixed by more experienced writers. What matters most is that this film could be the first of many if done correctly.
SCRIPT EVALUATION: CONSIDER WRITER EVALUATION: CONSIDER