a self-congratulatory dissection of horror

Rating: 3/10 (23 February 2013)

Is it a horror movie that isn't scary or is it a comedy that isn't funny? Either way, this movie is a loser.
I can say that this is not a "dumb" movie. In fact, the film presents a thoughtful consideration of horror archetypes. Unfortunately, this would have been communicated more successfully in an essay. Otherwise, Cabin in the Woods has no compelling story, no heart, and (most fatally) no soul. If your idea of a good time at the movies is to feel superior to the very idea of story telling, then this film is for you. If, however, you like to watch movies to think and feel in new ways, then this movie will feel pretty hollow.
I cannot leave this review without bemoaning the unrepentant smarminess of flattery masquerading as entertainment. Do you squeal in recognition when a genre movie lays bare its mechanisms? Does it make you feel smart? Why do you need a movie to make you feel smart?