A deliberately annoying film, but a great ending.

Rating: 6/10 (30 October 2017)

The title sort of gives what you expect. But it then delivers a whopping surprise which is revealed a bit at a time, cutting between our five leads to two deeply smug middle-aged men, about whom there will be more in a minute. Anyway, our five American teenagers (who all look about twenty eight, by the way) set off in a camper van and arrive at a filling station where a creepy man with extremely bad hygiene tells them they can get to the cabin in the woods, but they will never leave it. At this point we are perhaps supposed to be scared. Problem is I wondered if this was the same creepy man who popped up in the enjoyable Wrong Turn. He may also have been one of the creepy men who popped up in the genuinely menacing Deliverance, way back in 1972. There was also a creepy man who popped up in a filling station in the more generic Urban Legend. You get the idea . . we've been here before. Many times.
But of course that's the point. The title is deliberately generic, five teens in peril, off to enjoy some sex and drugs in the wood, just like they did in Evil Dead and a hundred other films. But these teens are being watched . . . every step of the way.
The parallel story-line of our five lead actors ( I use that term loosely given the acting ability on show here) is balanced by the antics of two even more annoying people in some underground facility that might be in the US Pentagon, or perhaps even next to the Cabin In The Woods. They whizz about on swivel chairs, make crass jokes at other people's expense and are far more obnoxious than our five lead actors. There is something not quite right about middle-aged men trying to act hip and talk like teenagers. Get down with the kids. I don't think so. It's just wrong, and these two people are smug to the point of being moronic. Grow up, people. They were so crass I almost began to warm to the five lead actors. Almost . . . but not quite.
But eventually, at last, the film arrives at its final act and the grand expose is finally revealed. All I will say is the protracted climax is an arresting sight. It's a bit like watching the utterly boring Titanic (1997) and waiting an absolute age for anything to happen, only for the iceberg to hit and finally the film comes to life. How's that for irony, the film comes to life when everyone starts to die. Bad idea, I know, I'm starting to sound like the film's writers, too clever by half.