A mess of overly contrived nonsense

Rating: 2/10 (18 September 2012)

Two stars because I did finish it (regrettably). I understood "the point" loud and clear, but to regard this film as some kind of intricate, genre-straddling masterpiece of cinematic renaissance is insulting on so many levels. The Cabin In The Woods is pure convoluted junk. It's as if they couldn't come up with one good solid plot with which to drive the movie. So they utilize a caterwaul of plots which are half-baked and mostly stolen. Worse yet, the subplots that they actually came up with on their own reach a level of cheesiness that surpasses all but the guiltiest of cheesy 80's horror. Aside from the story, the script is fundamentally generic and blatantly melodramatic. The special effects look great, but everything else about this film is a God-awful mess.