Torture porn with pretensions

Rating: 1/10 (5 January 2013)

So this nauseator has the requisite group of college age kids isolated in the woods being hacked to death by whatever, zombies, serial killers or devil worshipers, the exact type of entity only important to the most deranged fan of this sort of excreta. What's supposed to make this movie clever is that the low-budget stock plot elements are inter cut with these scenes of guys in short sleeve shirts with ties, pocket protectors and nerdy glasses in an underground lab with instrument panels viewing it all on monitors - the Horror Movie Cliché Control Room. They're orchestrating the carnage to collect blood for a mysterious force which left unquenched would wreak havoc on the world: the legion of demented morons who are fans of the genre. If you think this twist lifts this dreck into the realm of thoughtful meta-movie, you probably think Scream and its spores were all witty send-ups of slasher flicks, instead of, simply, slasher flicks. You're also very likely everything-that's-wrong-with-the-world incarnate.