Um, no, "Cabin in the Woods" is NOT a "horror" film....but it IS a great comedic satire.

Rating: 8/10 (14 April 2012)

First off, for those who have seen the film, or just the previews, and wonder why the uber-hunky Chris Hemsworth's hair is short when he needs it long for his current stint as Thor, "Cabin in the Woods" was actually filmed in 2008 and then sat on the shelf for three years due to MGM going bankrupt. And being a so-called "horror" film, it was never a priority. Alas, it finally saw the light of day, which leads me to my next point...
Which is, well, secondly, "Cabin in the Woods" is not really a "horror" film. Many are giving it high praise for being a completely original entry into the genre, some calling it one of the best horror films ever made. And, well, sorry, but they are all wrong, as this film is not actually a horror film. It is a comedy and a satire OF horror films, but due to the concept, there is absolutely nothing horrifying about it. At all. Nope, not even remotely scary.
Why is that? Because I've seen literally hundreds upon hundreds of horror films? Well, as that could be true, it is actually because the horror and fear factor is stripped completely because everything you see on screen is controlled.
The story is simple. Five stereotypical horror clichés get together and head to a...you guess it...cabin in the woods which resembles the one used in the greatest horror film ever made, "Evil Dead," almost exactly. However, it is no coincidence each character is a stereotype nor that they got pulled to this cabin in particular. Without giving the plot away completely, I'll say as much as you learn within the first ten minutes of the film: everything that will happen at the cabin is being controlled underground by a bunch of weird dudes, led by an awesome Richard Jenkins.
So, knowing anything that happens to these five kids is being totally controlled, any hint of fear or "horror" is completely stripped from this film. Why is it being controlled? Well, to learn THAT, you need to see the film.
That being said, the film is well worth the watch. Even though it turned out to not be quite what I expected, "Cabin in the Woods" is definitely an original concept based on horror film clichés deriving from everything from "Evil Dead" to "Halloween" to "Night of the Living Dead" to the early writings of H.P. Lovecraft. It has a good cast of stereotypes, led by the aforementioned (and "smaller," but still gorgeous) Chris Hemsworth and Jessie Williams of "Grey's Anatomy" fame....along with a COMPLETELY out-of-left-field cameo by a huge-named actress whose appearance I won't spoil.
Hilarious in its self-referential and "Scream"-like laughing at the predictable aspects of so many horror movies, this non-scary horror film satire does start off a little slow, but keeps the laughs and grins coming until it kicks into high gear as you learn the secrets behind the cabin and the film truly takes off into an extremely enjoyable second act with a sequence of such amusing slaughter, it teeters on being one of the greatest in history.
So, definitely not the best "horror" film ever made, but definitely the best satirical look at the genre since the first "Scream."