Excellent: 9.5

Rating: 9/10 (27 July 2019)

Modern gore horror is terrible. This is a general rule that, unfortunately, too many films have chosen to follow. And they all follow the same rules, such as who gets killed when, what kills them, and how graphically it is shown. No film as of yet has bothered to ask why, though. Until The Cabin in the Woods, helmed by Cloverfield writer Drew Goddard, and written by Goddard and writer extraordinaire Joss Whedon. Together, they have created a horror film so fresh and original, that it, quite literally, manages to transcend its trappings and become a horror film unlike any other. The closest comparison is Scream, as it too told a tale of meta-horror, poking fun at all the horror film cliches while maniacally conforming to them. However, in a brilliant twist I won't spoil here, all the rules are turned upside down, making every other horror film seem pedestrian by comparison. Of course, all the elements that are mocked are present in full force. Sexy teens go to a remote location, get drunk, have sex, get killed in a predictable order, etc. There's the jock, the bookworm, the promiscuous blonde, the innocent girl, and the smartass stoner (the latter portrayed by Dollhouse veteran Fran Kranz). They find a creepy cabin filled with one-way mirrors, dolls and latin inscriptions. Of course, said inscriptions must be read aloud, and brings upon the five friends a whole load of blood and misery. Ultimately, past the unconventional story, this is still a horror film. There will be jump scares, blood, and sex (though only briefly). So, if you're not into that sort of thing, this isn't the movie that'll change your mind. However, for horror movie buffs, there is something for everyone here. Every single horror trope is mocked and employed to spectacular effect. Splitting up, having sex, reading ancient text, and warnings from old men are all here, and all have consequences that are, naturally, beyond our heroes' imaginations.