Monster Mash-Up

Rating: 4/10 (17 April 2012)

This film is not recommended.
You've heard the one about the jock, the hottie, the intellectual, the stoner, and the virgin who decided to go have some fun at a remote cabin in the woods. Five go in, and...Well, you've certainly seen variations on this horror theme before, including Friday the 13th, Night of the Living Dead, The Evil Dead, Scream, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, just to name a few examples from this overworked genre. Let's face it, whenever nubile teenagers go for a quiet getaway in the deep dark woods, there's got to be danger a mere step or two away. After all, it's not called the WILDerness without good reason.
Now I do enjoy the synthetic scare of sitting in a darken theater and jumping in synchronized midair movement along with my fellow moviegoers, as long as the film follows these three basic rules of suspense:
Rule No. 1. It builds suspense. ( Usually this is the case in many films, an easy accomplishment with sound effects, sudden staccato music shifts, and darkness all around. ) Rule No. 2. It stays logical until the end. ( Rarely does the end achieve that goal since its beginning phase sets up the heightened tension and higher expectations only to disappoint by the film's gruesome finale. ) Rule No. 3. It doesn't glorify gratuitous gore for violence's sake ( Never happens nowadays, especially if the filmmakers want to see any possible profit ).
So, I decided to kill some time and went to see what I thought would be another predictable slasher movie, with perhaps a bit more wit and spine-tingling tension, since it was penned by Joss Whedon of Buffy fame. Well, the film wasn't so much predictable as it was forgettable.
Yes,I can now report that The Cabin in the Woods doesn't meet many of those criteria. ( In fact, it only manages to register with the first rule of horror films. ) But the film is still a noble, if disappointing, effort to expand the realm of this genre. It is a spirited diversion and when it stays within its own terror-filled perimeter of the horror school of filmmaking, the film stays effective. Too often, the filmmakers continually undercut the elements of suspense by relying too much on the contrasting images of sci-fi technology.
Co-written and directed by Drew Goddard, The Cabin in the Woods brings together the collective teenagers as the typical sacrificial lambs. The lambs for the slaughter are played by Kristen Connolly, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, and a younger Chris "Thor" Hemsworth, all who have since achieved some fame in television and motion picture projects. ( The film, made in 2008, has been held up for release due to MGM's bankruptcy issues and has finally made it to the big screen after much delay. ) Also in the film are Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford, both fine accomplished actors who may bring some stature to the film, but essentially are wasting their talents here.
The multi-purpose script shows no real purpose at all. The screenplay tries its darnedest to be hip and innovative in its approach to elevate the horror genre with some comedic moments and action segments. The Cabin in the Woods contains many plot twists and turns ( too many ) which will be more effective for your filmgoing experience with less prior knowledge about the film and its tiered structure. So you'll hear no spoilers from this reviewer except to saw that I was more shocked by the film's positive reviews by the critics that from the antics on display.
As the film rambles to its forgone conclusion, Whedon and Goddard throw every possible horror cliché at their movie-going audience, making the film becomes more laughable than scary, particularly with an uncredited cameo that makes the whole enterprise seem even more absurd.
The Cabin in the Woods wants to be seen as a clever send-up to all the horror films past, a cagey deconstruction of the splatter film brand of filmmaking. But due to its multi-layering of convoluted plot devices and an uncanny knack for pop culture insights, it just doesn't work. When doing a mash-up of horror and sci-fi staples, both styles of film suffer under their own weight and individual identity.
The Cabin in the Woods becomes a bit of a bi-polar mess, a sad little parody of itself. Unfortunately, the joke is on the moviegoers who become the sacrificial lambs that pay full dollar to see this kind of anticlimactic junk. GRADE: C
NOTE: The movie poster shows off the gamesmanship and mystery that are an essential part to the film's success. With a side wink to the Rubik Cube phenomenon and a deep appreciation of the work of M.C. Escher, this marketing conceptually targets the right film audience and becomes intriguing art as well. The poster far exceeds the movie's overall effect. Checkmate!
NOTE: Visit my movie blog for more reviews: www.dearmoviegoer.com