The ultimate deconstruction-slash-love letter to the horror genre

Rating: 9/10 (2 October 2012)

It is always a pain in the ass when someone tells you that you don't "get" a movie. It comes off as pretentious, and as an excuse that a fan uses to explains what may be valid observations against the film. However, and hear me out, this is not intended as insulting, but is simply the film's style: Cabin in the Woods was made BY horror fans, FOR horror fans; whether they have the strongest or weakest understanding of how the genre works. Those of you who still jump at bathroom mirror scares and are shocked when they see "OMG, the killer isn't dead yet!" should keep on watching scary movies until they get a better idea of how the genre works. Those who DO understand how it works, or are willing to laugh and enjoy a film's ride instead of being bogged down by its logic, will find themselves immensely satisfied.
The setup couldn't be simpler, giving us a tale so ancient in horror that it could be carved in stone: 5 good-looking college kids, who have loaded their rambler with booze and weed, set off for a weekend of debauchery (no points as to guessing where the film takes place). Here's where the catch kicks in: Unbeknownst to them, they are secretly being monitored by a group of scientists that have very big plans in store. As nightfall kicks in, we eventually see that not only are the scientists monitoring these kids, but are also influencing their behavior through various means in their control room. As the kids devolve from fleshed out, likable characters into your typical horror movie ensemble (the slutty girl, the alpha male jock, the virginal girl, etc.), the goal of the scientists becomes clear: they are turning the kids weekend into a standard horror movie scenario.
Why they are doing this is not the point (although the film explains this in full in a series of twists that further the theme of the movie). The point is the commentary of the film on horror: do horror characters make their own decisions, or decisions based on the requirements of the genre? After all, wouldn't a horror movie be over too quickly if everyone was making good decisions? How quickly would the villain(s) of the film be defeated if the characters didn't decide to split up? Or to turn their back to a window that something can obviously burst through and grab them? Or dropping a weapon and running instead of using it to make sure the incapped villain is dead for sure? And of course, everyone's favorite, running off into the woods to have sex with no one around?
This is where the fun of the film comes in: the cliché nature of the scenario is treated as a fun homage to the typical horror setup, while we eagerly await to see how the scientists will create another cliché. We get things like pheromone mist being sprayed to encourage the couple of the film to go have sex, where things will go very bad for them, as they always do in horror, or whispers in the air subconsciously telling characters to go for a walk by themselves in the middle of the night. This builds up and up in intensity until the final 30 minutes, which I will do absolutely nothing to describe, except for saying that it is basically every horror fans dream finale.
As I described before, this is a film that toys with how horror films work from the very beginning, and is something that those that are new to the genre may not understand. In most horror films, we are treated to an "opening kill", featuring a hapless character being brutally killed by the antagonist, followed by a smash cut with blaring music to the title screen. We get the same smash cut here...from two characters casually discussing baby-proofing a house at a water-cooler with elevator music playing in the background. Horror fans will get the joke. Others will wonder what the hell is going on. If you get the joke, then Cabin in the Woods is a frighteningly fun ride that will stay with you as a cult classic.