A slasher movie for those who hate slasher movies

Rating: 10/10 (21 October 2017)

I despise slasher horror. Halloween? Can't stand it. Friday the 13th? Hate it. Nightmare on Elm Street? Better, but still not great. They're all pretty unimaginative, the characters are weak and there's no depth beyond, "Hey, watch these people get brutally slaughtered and maybe you'll see some boobs too."
Cabin in the Woods, in this case, seems like a slasher movie that was specifically made for me. The characters are all nuanced, it mocks and deconstructs every single problem I have with the genre and, most gratifying of all, the film is so much deeper on a narrative and thematic level than even serious horror movies tend to go. It's simply a triumph and if you're the kind of person who thinks they might hate it, watch it. It was made specifically for you.