I'm sorry, I don't get it

Rating: 1/10 (5 October 2005)

I've read through the reviews here hoping to see someone mention what it is about this movie that is supposed to be good.
My wife and I have been working our way through the IMDb Top 100 list. Even movies we didn't particularly enjoy watching (Raging Bull, I'm looking at you) we could still finish and realize why it is considered a good movie.
But this one? The soundtrack is horrible, almost Disney-esquire. The corny trumpet music whenever someone just steps out of the jungle or is entering a room, it was terribly distracting for this viewer.
The cinematography? As mentioned elsewhere if you are going to shot a "night" scene with just a blue filter on the camera, at LEAST try to not show the sun in the sky or reflecting from water, eh? That's not a big deal, that's just a matter of directorial competence. In general the camera work was uninspired, but in some cases it was actually bad.
The dialogue? There were parts that were so contrived and forced that it made me cringe. It bordered, indeed crossed, the line of "campy" at times.
The story itself? Cheesy and predictable. I had hoped maybe for a heroic end for the Guiness character, maybe standing on his bridge distracting the Japanese commander long enough for the commandos to do their work? Something? But no, we got the most trite and predictable of all endings.
Holden's character? Easily the worst parts of the movie. British commando's have native bearers for their gear? And these native bearers are all pretty young Philipino girls? Who spend their time soaping and bathing the American soldier in photogenic waterfalls while on their "commando" mission? Damned ridiculous, almost expected Elvis to step out with a guitar and start a sing-along.
Guiness's portrayal was very well done. I'll give it that. He did the role well. I can't say the acting by any other member of the cast was worth praising though, truly.
I had hoped to find out what was good by reading reviews here. But instead there are a bunch of hollow praises followed by summaries of the plot. Those who didn't like the movie dislike it on historical inaccuracy grounds, but that isn't even it for me.
I do not understand what was good about this movie.