Rated K, for Kill Me Now

Rating: 3/10 (22 September 2012)

Holy, batcrap. I grew up reading the Bourne novels, and watched the tragedy that was Richard Chamberlain and Jaclyn Smith. The first two Matt Damon Bourne flicks were very good; the third sort of declined. And then we got to this thing. I was enthused about it, even though it was a departure from the Bourne-concept itself. And I'm not sure who Jeremy Renner's agent is these days, and while I find him to be a very good actor, but you can't sling a dead cat right now without hitting a movie that he is in. And he tried, I think, to make the best out of whatever poorly functioning script writer put this one together. The same goes true for Rachel Weisz, who is normally a quality actress and is beautiful to boot. Her job in this movie was basically to cry and have her cheek quiver. I always list my reviews as containing spoilers, in case I give too much info out, but I really try to avoid such. But let me say this: The first 30 minutes of the movie could have been compressed into about 3 minutes. The same is true for a 10 minute series of nothing but swiping security badges at doors. Truly, 10 minutes of walk, swipe, walk, walk, swipe, walk, swipe--oh crap, swiped it wrong--swipe again, walk, walk, swipe. And then there is a motorcycle chase at the end of the film. This would be a good time to get up, go to the restroom, and come back, because you will miss nothing exceptional here for 10 minutes or so. A few good stunts, and some very good fight scenes. If they had launched a Bourne-themed hour long TV show (and let's hope they don't do this), they could have compressed this movie into the pilot by eliminating all of the crap and I still would not watch the second episode.