Matt Damon Reading the Phone Book

Rating: Null/10 (30 June 2002)

A friend of mine (gay male) says he could enjoy watching Matt Damon reading the phone book. This movie is for people who demand more, but not MUCH more! Matt's hair is now brown instead of blond, and he now goes for a whole movie without flashing his big white teeth in a pretty boy smile. He is trying to look like a tough competitor for action films, so all the roles don't go to his pal Ben Affleck or to Tom Cruise. Does it work? Sure, Matt is a fine actor, and great to look at, too.

***Possible Spoilers*** This movie is supposedly based on a Robert Ludlum book. The script was probably good when it was written, but as it got doctored up and edited to bits, it's a ridiculous mess. That is why I prefer independent films, where the writer is often the actual writer-- rather than having a whole crew of hacks deciding what the story will be.

The story, as far as I can figure, is about a CIA assassin (Matt Damon) who goes onto a yacht to kill an African man with a French accent, who is some sort of leader of somebody and has an attitude problem that makes someone else want to kill him. Anyway, the assassin gets shot and tossed in the ocean, where he is rescued by a boatful of extras and stuntmen who look vaguely Eastern European. Oddly, the same extras and stuntmen are used much later in the film to play CIA agents who come to attack Matt Damon in his hotel room.

The whole idea here is amnesia, which as far as I know, only occurs in movies. The assassin can't remember who he is or why people are chasing him. The people chasing him, as it turns out, are his employers, and the audience can never really understand why they are chasing him, either.
The CIA has imbedded some sort of little capsule, the size of a little vitamin pill, into the assassin's skin. When it is excised, the capsule shines a little light that projects the name of a bank and an account number. How convenient! Matt knows what Swiss bank to go to, and his account number. He goes there and gets into his safe deposit box to find a big pile of money and a bunch of fake I.D.s. This would make his life a lot easier, except he packs the stuff into a red bag, which makes him easier to spot wherever he goes. He can get a car, hair dye, scissors, etc, but cannot seem to locate a different bag in all of Europe. When police are chasing him and calling out "Hey, red bag!", that would seem to be a clue to get a new bag. Matt, the assassin, aware that the CIA is trying to kill him, sets up a meeting with his CIA boss out on a bridge in Paris. Why? To kill him? To be killed? We don't know or care!

In this movie we see Matt climbing on a rusty fire escape, down the outside of a smooth brick building, driving in a clever chase scene where his vehicle is a pokey little car, fighting off and shooting lots of guys, blowing things up, etc.

The women's roles in this movie are hilarious! Franke Potente gets to stand within arm's length and watch as Matt fights a CIA goon to the death. It never occurs to the goon to harm her, and she does not appear afraid, she just stands there and watches! Later, the same thing happen with Julia Stiles just standing there! Apparently, women in this movie are invisible and invulnerable to harm.
This movie is goofy, mindless fun, for those who want to see beautiful grayish cinematography of sights in Europe. It is sure to be a big hit in Europe! It is surely not Oscar material, or even anything you will want to see twice, unless you are fixated on Matt or Franke.