Two hours better spent down the pub

Rating: 1/10 (31 August 2004)

I had the misfortune to see this film when it was first released. A decade on, and my hatred for this puerile stinker remains unabated.
Think of your very worst celluloid nightmare. Multiply it by a hundred and you are only a fraction of the way to realising what an artistic shambles this film really is. Even "The Swarm" had some redeeming features.
All the depressingly familiar ingredients are here: wooden acting, stilted dialogue and warbly singing. It's overlong, overrated and features one of the most irritating soundtracks in the history of American cinema, which makes me want to stick pins into a wax work effigy of Dolly Parton every time I hear it.
Mow the lawn, bath the dog, watch paint dry. I implore you do anything but watch this film.
How the respected British Director, Mick Jackson, became involved with this outrage is anyone's guess. Back in 1984, he brought us one of the most disturbing and innovative films ever shown on British TV called "Threads". Perhaps he should attempt to combine the two films together. Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner disappearing under a mushroom cloud - now that's what I call a happy ending!