A vain, unimaginative effort to spend as little money as possible to parody a documentary about a nonexistent urban legend.

Rating: 3/10 (8 June 2000)

The Blair Witch Project (1999) Reviewed January 3, 2014 after 2nd viewing (Blu-ray)
A vain, unimaginative effort to spend as little money as possible to parody a documentary about a nonexistent urban legend.
Where to start Well, I will preface my review with the following: The first time I saw this, I was scared out of my wits. Why you ask? Probably because I watched it at home in the dark late at night with no one else in the house, I was 16, and I had not discovered The X-Files yet (yes, it was out, but I did not start watching it until 3 months later). Now that I have a lot more knowledge, wisdom, and film expertise, I can see what a tragic cinematic failure it was.
The characters have little to offer the film. We barely even relate to them. Heather starts off as this well-to-do, innocent, but headstrong and controlling film student and winds up a whimpering baby. She knows something is out there and her bright idea is to go check it out in the middle of the night with armed with nothing more than a camera and a flashlight? Not so bright OR believable. I grew up camping with my dad (yes, in a tent in the middle of nowhere) in far more remote and scarier places than this, and I can PROMISE you, if you hear a weird noise in the night, the ONLY natural reaction you would have is to a) run to the car and lock yourself in till morning, or if you don't have an easily accessible car, b) stay in the tent, pull the covers over your head, and pray for daylight. You do NOT go venturing out to "see" what it is when there is no "seeing" to be had, documentary or not.
And her two supporting males? Let's put it this way: I only finally figured out who was Mike and who was Josh when Josh disappeared! They interchanged roles so much between the oversensitive asshole and the pacifist, I couldn't tell who was who, and I cared for neither. Part of the success of a film is portraying believable characters that the audience connects with, and all we're doing is screaming at the screen about how stupid they are. And yes, it's scary, but I kept being taken out of the film by Heather Donahue's OVER-acting. It was unnatural and you could feel it was forced, not gripping and intense the way it was supposed to come off.
Plot you ask? What plot? It is nonexistent. So for starters, they never explain why they are trusting some guy they don't even know to go into the woods and camp to make a documentary in the first places. Then they complain about getting wet from crossing a creek What? And did no one else notice that in the beginning, they were only supposed to be out there for a weekend. I counted one night actually, and they got NOTHING. What was on the documentary? Like a few interviews from crazy locals, them in a motel room, them walking, and some rocks they found in a pile? That was in the first 20 minutes of the film they started to go back! Then as what little tension builds does, Heather suddenly decides there must be something in those bound twigs that appeared mysteriously on our doorstep in the middle of the night, so she unwraps it to find I still don't quite know what Fingers? She completely loses it and is hysterical, and yet we're supposed to believe she very rationally decides not to tell Mike? I understand why someone wouldn't—to keep him from panicking so that they both don't lose it—but she's not in her right mind!! That's the point isn't it?! Not to mention Mike just throws the map in the river cause he gets mad! If you're that paranoid about getting lost and that anal about getting back on time, that is the LAST thing you do. Just unbelievable all the way around.
As for the director, he was obviously loony when he wrote and 'directed' this. I use the term loosely because he states he instructed them to film everything so that it appears as a documentary. The first 10 minutes are so boring you almost cut the film off. Then there's the matter of camera quality—I mean, come on--even in 1999 it was better than this. And what is with the constant switching from color to black and white? It only serves to distract the viewer and keep the focus off the story. Pick one and stick with it!
In all seriousness, not to offer insult to the show in the last because I love it, but an episode of "Ghost Adventures" is far scarier than this, and at least its NOT fiction pretending to be fact! Each episode documents evidence, history, and fact at a REAL location about a REAL supernatural event. The LEAST the screenwriters could have done was develop a film based off an ACTUAL LEGEND. The lack thereof only serves its intended purpose of creating never- ending loopholes for the directors to do whatever they want and be as minimalist as possible. Their motto: Minimum input, maximum gain. Do NOT be fooled! This film is nothing more than a cheap trick to make a quick buck. I hate to say it, but Paranormal Activity (the first one) did it so much better. *I* could do better if I had a video camera and two friends dumb enough to follow me into the woods based on rumor. EPIC FAIL!!
If you're looking for a thrilling supernatural movie, see The Sixth Sense, The Ring, The Mothman Prophecies, Saw, The Haunting, 1408, Devil, Signs, or Dream House.
3.0 out of 10.0