The Most Irritating Flick of the Millennium

Rating: Null/10 (10 August 1999)

Ok, tell me this wasn't the most irritating, grating flick you've ever seen. It claims to be scary, it isn't. It claims to be worthy of wide spread cinematic distri bution, it isn't. This poor excuse for a horror film is nothing more than a hodge podge collection of shaking images and scenes of 3 bellowing collegians who try to add drama to their film by uttering the f-word or one of its derivatives like every two words. Oh yeah, and the word 'man' too. The acting is just plain awful. And talk about repetitive. Every night they'd go to bed in that tent. They'd hear noises while in the tent. Then they'd wake up and find some dumb collection of twigs or voodoo dolls outside of their tent. This happened every night for what, five nights. Predictable and a real yawn....where's Kubrick when you need him. And, to borrow a little dialogue from the film, 'what the f**k' did they all eat? I want to know cuz Josh, Mike, and Heather were stuck yelling and scrambling around in the woods for 5 days and seemed to pass the brink of emotional and physical exhaustion (maybe from all that yelling?) yet rarely exhibited any signs of real hunger except for the standard uttering of 'i'm cold, tired, and hungry and want to go home' about once every half hour. Call me bitter but i'm tired of the mainstream media hype machine putting all us suckers in a tizzy over yet another lame film. They did it with Austin Powers II. They did it with this horrible film (that's right, not 'horror' film, but 'horrible' film). For all those reading this who are luckily still in their pre-Blair Witch state, DON'T go see it. Or, for a cheap substitute, just go to a drunken frat party to hear all the yelling and uttering of the f-word that you want.