Horror film...? More like a comedy to me!

Rating: Null/10 (24 July 1999)

Let me begin by stating that no one could have been more intrigued by this concept of "mock documentary" in horror than myself. I've seen that special on the Sci-Fi channel that brilliantly sets the stage for screening the film. It truly gave you a sense of foreboding history and got you acquainted with a mysterious lore lurking in the Black Hills Forest in Maryland. Unfortunately, that Sci-Fi special (part of the whole PR campaign) was far scarier than the actual film.
I saw Blair Witch in a packed house that was filled up nearly 40 minutes before the show started, which is how anxious everyone around here was about wanting to see this and be terrified beyond belief. We all apparently bought the hype and our expectations were just too high perhaps. Whatever the reason, Blair Witch seemed nothing more to me than a corny episode of the Real World - Lost in the Woods. The film had so many funny moments and the audience laughed out loud so many times, you would have thought you were at a Jim Carey flick. Not a single scream was heard in our theater for the entire film. Personally, I grew tired of listening to the three of them complain and yell at each other about whether anyone knew where the hell they were going and what would happen once they got there. I suppose it showed realism there as I'm sure friends lost in the woods, growing more tired and hungry and agitated by the minute, would be behaving in exactly the same way. It just seemed that I was waiting for the scary moments to occur and they just didn't. I'm sorry, but constructed stick figures and rock piles along the journey, did not scare me in the least. I knew you had to tap into the emotions of the characters as they appeared to be followed and hunted by some unknown forces, but it just didn't translate well from those 8MM cameras, poor sound quality, and sub-par filming by the actual actors. There were some stretches where the audience was staring at a black screen with only the sounds of breathing and cursing going on. It just didn't cut it with me.
I must say that the last 5 minutes were truly intense to experience and the ending is a shocker that really sends you reeling out of the theater. Trouble is, you have to sit through the first 83 minutes to get there. To put it simply, the beginning got you off to a good start, the rising action was okay, the entire middle SUCKED until the last 5 minutes. I would not recommend seeing Blair Witch, especially if you prefer some horror in your horror movies. Just watch the Sci-Fi channel special and you'll be more frightened in the comfort of your own living room.