The Blair Witch Project will have you become lost in your own boredom.

Rating: 3/10 (2 October 2018)

The horror that popularised the "found footage" sub-genre (some would even say pioneer), gave way to future ultra low-budgeted features and proved that you don't need elaborate production values to make a film. You just need trees, rocks and a map. Now everybody go out and make a film! Unfortunately I'm not reviewing the excellently innovative marketing campaign that the film bolstered. I'm critiquing this snoozefest instead. A group of film students are filming a documentary about the "Blair Witch" legend and set off out into the woods to find evidence. Where they soon encounter frightening piles of rocks, spooky dangling sticks and a terrifying lack of basic orienteering skills. Oh yes, the scare factor is at an all-time high! Sit back, relax and prepare yourself to watch absolutely nothing. Nothing! Just three ridiculously unlikeable characters shouting and screaming at each other for 78 minutes whilst aimlessly wandering around a woodland area. "Where's the map!?"! Someone give me a camera and find me some friends, I'll do the exact same thing and make a incalculable amount of money. On a serious note, I appreciate the stripped-back concept. It's not what you see that induces fear, but your other senses perceiving the unknown. A surround sound system works most efficiently as footsteps and faint screams are heard in every direction, creating an eerie environment. But when the poorly developed characters, story and pace are used to substitute onscreen scares, it doesn't work. You don't care. You just want the "Blair Witch" to savagely destroy them immediately. 78 minutes felt like 2 hours, honestly it is that poorly paced and boring. It's clear that The Blair Witch Project is divisive, and I suspect my opinion would be different if I watched it back in '99 with all the "is it real?" hype. Alas, it's aged badly. So much so that it just isn't scary, remotely interesting or captivating. Don't even get me started on that ending...