THE BORING WITCH PROJECT

Rating: Null/10 (11 July 2003)

Now it is my turn to roll up the sleeves. THIS SUCKED!!! A perfect example of the current trend in moviemaking: THE LOST OPPORTUNITY. What really bugged me (besides Lady Heather, the latest has been) about this pretentious mess was that it initially had a strong, promising IDEA, then gallently set out to destroy it. (Does anyone recall REIGN OF FIRE?).
Sure, the IDEA of the unseen menace can be compelling and even inevitably scary, BUT this class room assignment was in the wanna be mitts of the clueless. I won t hark on all the structural flaws, for I prefer not to bore you with common knowledge. If I was in their predicament (which was all their own stupid doing: BAD WRITING!), I might have uttered a few F words, but I would have bored myself after a number of seconds, and then would have followed that stream and pay note to the position of the sun and when & where it sets. Ever been a scout? (I would have also brained that jerk who lost the map, but that's another story). I'll even overlook the no-cell phone motif.
HOWEVER, this non-entity is so "subtle" that the most incredible thing happens: NOTHING! I do like subtlety in suspense and horror, but the tension has to keep consistently mounting in order for it to create the shocks and scares. Obviously, the makers never saw a Hitchcock film. Two true classic horror films, CURSE OF THE DEMON and THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN effectively achieved these crucial means by keeping the monsters off screen, but you could always sense their lurking presense slowly closing in and entrapping you, AND they did finally reveal something and delivered brilliant stories that really shocked and left you wondering later. Both horror gems are highly recommended.
Too bad that THE BORING WITCH didn't know how to run with the big ball. Ideas are like notes, if they are not effectively strung together, then the song will not rock. Back to FILM 101 boys and annoying girls.
Both admirers and detractors should read the short story, "The Wendigo" (and I don't mean that disappointingly insulting film "adaptation") by Algernon Blackwood, for that was actually the scary story that these clowns beautifully ruined. (Now, THAT is a true horror tale). It was about two hunters in the northern Canadian woods who are plagued by an unseen legendary forest demon. Does it really exist or are they flipping out from their isolation and fear? That was the film that should have been made, BUT NOT BY THESE DISPOSABLE JERKS!
MORAL Never get too uptight over a bundle of sticks.