Sequel ideas

Rating: Null/10 (31 August 1999)

In my opinion is that the Blair Witch Project stunk. Could I see a few more shots of leaves or trees? Would I be carrying that much battery power in the woods? Wouldn't I just stick to a stream and follow it? Wouldn't I start a huge fire to attract attention? Wouldn't I have ditched the loser chick? Did I really need to see up her runny nose? Could they have said "F**K" a few more times? ..and if you have a tendency toward motion sickness it will make you feel queezy. I give the film students credit for creating something different...but if you like movies with people lost in the wood's rent Southern Comfort or Deliverance.This is a great case of an over hyped money making little movie being shoved on an unsuspecting public.

In light of that and since Hollywood loves sequels and knock offs I do offer the following:
The Donner Party Project
3 Film students go on the Donner Party Trail to make a documentary. They get lost and end up eating one another. The fat chick lives and has to explain why she was thin on camera.
The Inexperienced Everest Climbers Project
3 Film Students film maker set out to find the elusive Yeti on Mt Everest. They expect a quick hike, but get lost and freeze to death. Film is found with strange long white hairs on it at the bottom of a deep crevasse
The East Bronx After Dark Project
3 naive Film Students go to East Bronx to make film about urban decay. They get lost. They see burning effigies. They get lost, robbed, mugged, raped and murdered by the locals. Film turns up a year laterin a pawn shop.
The Zapruder Film Project
3 film students go to Texas as part of a documentary on a president. While there they ask a local to hold their camera while they unload. The local walks away with it. Later the "Lee" frustrated over not being able to film the event storms off to go to the movies. Misses assassination of political figures. Leigh later gets killed by Jack for losing camera. Everyone else who sees our knows anything mysteriously dies.
The Were Bitch Project
2 Film makers go on a hike to film foliage with their snooty blue blood girl friends.They get sick of them complaining. So they ditch them in the forest accidentally leaving a camera behind. The film is found a year later by the Lost Independent Film Finders. The documentary shows the women filming each other putting on make up and commenting on how thin they are. Eventually they whither away and disappear.

The Bear Witch Project Project
The makers of Blair Witch Project go back to the Hollywood for a follow up. A murky mess where people dressed up like bears stalk and kill campers that make forest fires. The makers get lost in a sea of sex, drugs and hangers on. Unfortunately with cost over runs the 2nd movie is shut down half way through production. All the Blair Witch Project profits are lost. They go home penniless, and work at local a supermarket. As sort of death in itself. The footage shot later ends up as a straight to video pieced together with stock footage of government training films.
The Bare Witch Project
A porn film crew gets lost in the woods during a X-rated video version of Goldilocks and the 3 Bears.During the filming all their camping gear is stolen by slack jawed locals. They are chased through the woods get hypothermia and disappear. The videos are recovered a year later in remote cabin during an ATF raid.
Howabout The Linda Blair Witch Project