Blair Witch ... bite me

Rating: Null/10 (1 February 2000)

I'm an LA guy. I drive the 405. Sometimes it's crazy. Sometimes it's scary. I could take a video camera along, and tape my day on the 405, and you would look at it and say, "Hmmm, that's some traffic."
Now, put a bad day on the 405 in a movie, like that chase scene in "To Live and Die in LA." THAT was scary. That was intense. Why? Because it was part of a story, told within a context, and it was directed with flair and style.
This is the problem with Blair Witch. No story. No context. No flair or style. Just a bunch of video footage of three people I would never invite to my house for beer and crumpets, screeching through the woods while allegedly frightening things are going on around them.

Just look at the horrors:
See ... a pile of rocks! See ... stick figures in trees! Hear ... children! Are you scared yet?