Truly Terrible

Rating: 1/10 (27 April 2003)

Everything you've read is true - The Blair Witch Project is horrifying, is terror inducing, will chill you to the bone. For the last two minutes of its 90 minute running time. These last moments are shot at breakneck speed, with little dialogue and the green glow that comes from using a video camera at night. If this part of the film was made into a five minute short it would be looking at an eight or nine out of ten. As it is, the rest of the film is so mind-numbingly awful that it's one of the few films I've given a one.
This is not because of the cheapness of the film - cheap was the only real option for a film of this type, and picture quality should have no bearing on how good a film is. It's not because of the basic story - which is actually quite a good idea for a film. No, what really does The Blair Witch Project in is the terrible execution and annoying acting. During the day the three leads wander around a forest shouting at each other. At night they hear a tiny little sound then run around in the darkness screaming. And I'm talking complete and utter darkness. All there is consists of darkness and screaming. It's boring and not scary at all. And it goes on like this.
Do not, under any circumstances, pay to watch this film. Wait until it's next on television and just watch the last few minutes. It's for your own good. Because not everything you've read is true - there will be no screaming in the aisles; only from the speakers. For what will seem like an eternity.