Three people decide to make documentary in the woods...three people get lost in the woods...three people freak out...that's all folks...

Rating: Null/10 (8 August 1999)

Good Lord, this is the first movie I've seen in years were I actually wanted to ask for my money back. When exactly was I supposed to be scared? When these three (actually two: Mike did an adequate job) over-actors woke up to some foot steps or a few small piles of rocks? Or, while--for about 50 minutes--these unsympathetic characters just walked around the woods in circles, cursing, because they were lost. The only thing keeping me on the edge of my seat was the fact that I kept on wanting to get up and leave out of sheer boredom. But, alas, I hung in till the end, assuming something would happen--eventually...and it did, in the last five minutes...a final five minutes that certainly did not justify the previous 81 minutes. There might have been enough substance here to hold together a short, but that's about it...and that's pushing it. All in all I can not say that this feature film had any redeeming qualities. Suspense: ney; Cinematography: obnoxious; Dialog: with the exception of the line, "this stuff couldn't have been made by rednecks, it's too creative," it was flat, uninspired and, if any indicator of these actor's improvisational skills, a wake-up call for these people to choose a different profession; Drama: You got us lost. No, you got us lost. No, you did. No, you did...etc...(pretty intense, eh? see Dialog:); Sex: zilcho; Humor: All the hype the movie's getting; Action: redundant.
Obviously, these film makers have yet to be let in on the independent's secret: when you are dealing with a limited budget you optimize your production value by making up for the poor cinematography, set design etc., with stimulating dialog, dramatic tension and story line (e.g. Pi, Clerks, Swingers)...At least Artisan exhibited some artistic talent in their manufacture of the hype.
After seeing the movie I was reminded of a quote that Stanely Kubrick used to win an argument he was having with Jack Nicholson during the filming of the Shining: Jack wanted to say a line his way because he claimed it sounded "more real," to which Mr. Kubrick replied, "It might be more real, but it is less interesting." That about sums up this movie: Maybe it appears to be real, but it certainly isn't interesting.
The saddest part about this whole experience is that now there is sure to be numerous "rip-offs" of this film...looks like The Blair Witch might have cursed us all.