The biggest marketing scam in movie history. Only people who get scared by OTHER people being scared will like this crap.

Rating: 1/10 (1 December 2003)

This was a marketing scam that worked... plain and simple. And if you allow me the lengthy explanation, I hope you'll see legitamite reasons why I think it is an utter waste of time. If you don't want to read and either love BWP or instead want something that doesn't suck, go watch "The Last Broadcast". It's similar, came first, is better acted, and has an actual ending that makes sense.
The BWP began with a huge ad campaign, in the form of allegedly "true" documents and paranoia propaganda that took major advantage of the internet community. It got people out in droves to see what this thing really was. And what it was was an hour and a half of kids with a camera, walking in circles through the woods, working themselves into a paranoid frenzy while building to a climax (spoiler next) that literally delivers nothing.
(Spoiler end.) The premise, and what the online campaign hinted as being true, is this: A small town legend, the Blair Witch, is terrorizing a town and abducting children. Three stupid teens go into the woods armed with a camera and try to film / find evidence of this, and are never heard from again. Their videotape surfaces, and what is on it is mysterious.
Now here's the literal truth of what happened: The two creators of this "film" built a long, slow consumer awareness program by leaking supposedly legitamite details of the Blair Witch incidents, like fictitous police reports and interviews. Over several months, people were hearing about the Blair Witch case with the overwhelming sense that it was all real. Then the "film" was released in theaters and included what was supposedly the non-fiction video documentary of three kids who disappeared while looking in those woods. The lines of fantasy and reality had been effectively blurred, and people came out in droves to see what was really going on.

Seeing as how the actors in the "film" were on Jay Leno that very weekend, I was readily aware that it wasn't real. But I went anyway, out of curiosity. I thoroughly, thoroughly despised what I saw. I didn't have high hopes, since I hadn't yet read the much more entertaining web site stuff. But I was so angry that at the end of the "film", I loudly said "Bulls***! I want my 7 bucks back!" And was met with rousing applause, and yes, a few boos.
I'm a patient man, and very tolerant. I've seen subtitled, three hour long black and white foreign films. Ever heard of the 50 hour "Three Kingdoms" chinese hitorical series? Yeah, I sat through that. I liked Titanic. And I've seen horror movies including Dawn of the Dead, House of 1000 Corpses, the Sixth Sense, Nosferatu, the black and white Frankenstein and Draculas, and even comparably modern junk like the Scream trilogy. And aside from Scream 3, I loved all of it. But with the Blair Witch Project, I was simply offended. I fell victim to a marketing scam, and the fact that some people still call it genius burns me to this day.
This is why. The "movie", viewed as itself, is utter garbage. For the fans out there, what are you gauging the movie by? The acting? The plot? The PACING!? Three kids whine, nitpick, argue, and cry throughout the vast majority of it all. There's a scene when the most annoying character, the woman (she's that hideous nose / eye creature you see on the box and probably think is the Blair Witch) breaks down in hysterical, overacted tears simply because the team has made a circle and is crossing the same log they've already crossed. And if you don't mind, here's a spoiler so be prepared: There is no Blair Witch. You see nothing on camera. You hear some noises, see strange clues like wooden sticks. And at the end, during a scene that should have been halfway through the "movie", you see a creepy house with some blood on it. Then the movie ends. Period. I do not exagerrate. And I don't HAVE to see something to enjoy it. Jeez, 1997's "Contact" was great, for example. But when you build up a movie like this, can you not put SOMETHING up there to qualify my time?
(spoiler done) But you see, we're supposed to buy all that because it's a masterful example of anticipation, suspense, and power of suggestion over visuals, harkening back to the old days when stuff didn't have to be flashy and obvious to be frightening. Well, no, sorry. There is nothing frightening about kids in a tent, crying and shivering, and saying they've heard things. (Poss. Spoiler:) It's a ghost story with no payoff. They, and we, see and hear nothing to suggest anything more horrible than common woodland noises at night. (Spoiler end) The kids work themselves up like schoolchildren and start freaking out so badly that they frighten themselves beyond belief, at nothing. That isn't scary, suspenseful, or playing on my natural fears. If I got afraid just because I saw other people terrified of whatever it was that they were imagining, I would have been a basket case in grade school. And even if scared people WERE enough to scare me, it's still a wash because the majority of the "movie" takes place in the daytime, where nothing of importance happens. I go on vacations to other countries and tape less daytime commonalities than these idiots. And Yeah, if a ten minute argument over someone losing the map is scary, then I guess I've just been spoiled by GOOD films like Psycho and The Thing.
And these kids are just horrible to begin with. They're the most annoying bunch I've ever heard, and I was hoping halfway through that the girl would just die to move the plot. But instead, we get lots of arguing, lots of wandering, lots of hysteria, and a few hints of plot like finding an unidentified bloody cloth one morning.
Here, in its simplicity, is why this "movie" does not deliver. 1: If it's viewed on its own, without external knowledge of promotional material, the movie is baseless, without support, and with no closure or explanation. Without background information it's a pointless mess, so we must judge it by the material that got us interested in the first place- and that material was far more interesting. 2: If viewed as REAL, one must ignore the fact that it's well known as one of the most fiercely debated and famous films ever. But since the hook was that it might BE real, it's a waste. 3: If one watches it as a MOVIE to be entertained by, it's a dud due to horrible and annoying performances, no pacing or twists, and worst of all, no payoff. It winds up being an amateur film without music, lighting, or a good script.
All I can say is that the fake case history that the creators came up with to sell this crap WAS intruiging, and was more interesting than the "film" by leaps and bounds. My cousin struggled to defend his like of the "movie" until finally deciding on a reason that satisfied him, and became the only explanation I could possibly buy: That Blair Witch was worth watching simply as a side bonus to the crafted material that he was more interested in. I don't want to insult the people who did like the "film", but if you did, that must mean it scared you. Well once you get over the fear, I ask you to watch it again a few times. WHAT scared you? What mood were you in, to where you were actually frightened? Was it simply not knowing what the kids would find? (Spoiler alert) Well now that you know you never see the supposed Witch or anything that is NOT possibly manmade, is it still scary? (Spoiler over). I wasn't scared at all because I knew it was fictitous, and went anyway just to see what was supposedly so good. I was bitterly disappointed to see Blair Witch for what it was: Two guys who took advantage of the gullibility of the public, tempted them, played to their fear, and failed to deliver on a mental, intellectual, or even visual level. The only "genius" of the Blair Witch Project is, simply, how well it was used to scam the public. And I truly believe that the only people scared by this "film" are people like the kids IN it: People who are scared because it seems like they should be, without even any evidence to support the fear. Sure, you may watch the BWP thinking it'll be scary, and nervous in anticipation of what you might see. But by the end, what did you ACTUALLY see? Don't you feel cheated?

Well if not, what scared you is called mass hysteria, and it worked decades ago with War of the Worlds...Which wasn't even an intentional scam. Oh yeah, it was free too.