Sorry, Hitch, a real misfire here...

Rating: 2/10 (29 December 2006)

Unfortunately, the self-styled Master of Suspense is the Master of Pretentiousness in this one. The "I'm an auteur now, as you can see by slooow pacing, the waxy, masklike stares of my blonde, and my deliberately withholding from any character the faculty of reason."
Main-character Melanie, the Paris Hilton of her day (did she or didn't she skinny dip in a Roman fountain? Oooh, titillating!) has absolutely no affect to her voice--in every line, she channels Lauren Bacall on barbituates. The women all hate each other instantly and are each fixated on "Mitch," a hubba-hubba guy with no chemistry. The cute meet is stupid; the melodrama is boring; there is no suspense because, between deadly attacks, people seem to forget the trauma of the birds--after a harrowing encounter, the mother rambles on about missing her husband and not knowing whether she likes Hubba's new relationship, for example.
In short, this would be excellent, excellent fodder for Mystery Science Theater--just the right level of movie-making competency and retardness to make for gleeful ridicule.