I'll take sand in my shorts over watching this mess again

Rating: 4/10 (21 February 2000)

The Beach: Every backpacker is in search of untouched paradise, that one place that would make every postcard vendor salivate. Unfortunately, anyplace that remotely fits the bill is usually overrun with drunken revelers, package tourists and golden arches. When Richard, a jaded traveler, acquires a map with the location of a secret pristine beach he is determined to find it, regardless the risks. Which begs the question, what is the price of paradise?
Since Titanic Di Caprio has been damned, dismissed and denigrated. His detractors have obviously forgotten his performances in What's Eating Gilbert Grape and Romeo and Juliet. Di Caprio deserves to be judged on his individual efforts and not prejudged for having been in a blockbuster. That said, he is horrible in this movie. Or to be more accurate, this film as a whole is terrible.
Beach attempts to be a fusion of Apocalypse Now and Lord of the Flies, only a lite version without the drama, irony, or introspection. The story is for the most part a sanitized, predictable muddled mess, except for the last 20 minutes, which are exceptionally outlandish -Richard's bouts with madness are laughable. The commune consists of a bunch of elitist spoiled brats who live in tense harmony with a band of pot growers (given that drug growing and smuggling are capital offences in Thailand I'm sure this sort of thing happens all the timeÂ…) until things go wrong. Big surprise. Finally, although the star of the movie is beautiful (I'm talking the beach here), it is not worth the price of admission.
Miss.