Even more boring than beaches usually

Rating: 2/10 (9 February 2004)

This is one of the least interesting films I have never seen. The plot is astonishingly uninspired: a half-witted attempt to modernize childrens' adventure stories for today's teenagers, with a hasty twist pilfer from the Lord of the Flies and the most cumbersomely laid out love triangle in movie history. All characters in the movie are not only one-dimensional, but that dimension consists solely of being an utterly unlikable monkey. And pray tell, what possible purpose the stale narrator's voice is supposed serve?
I would say that the first half of the movie was majestetically boring, although that leaves me no means of describing the second half, and my only positive thought considering this picture was "thank God I never saw this at the movies". But hey, that's only because my image of paradise does not consist of pot, beach and Leonardo DiCaprio acting out his second least ambitious role, so obviously I am not this film's target audience. 2/10