Beach plays like a fish out of water

Rating: 3/10 (25 July 2000)

When Leonardo DiCaprio was riding the wave of Titanic's seemingly endless cashflow, he considered carefully which screen roles to pursue next. Should he be a dashing hero, or a romantic lead? For any newly minted Hollywood star, the next role or roles are exceedingly crucial. The follow-up to a blockbuster doesn't have to make as bombastic a splash as its predecessor, but it can't get by with just a ripple, either.
So what does the so-called "King of the World" choose to do? This adaptation of Alex Garland's novel about a young lost soul who wants to get more out of life and finds an island paradise in the South Pacific. Remember how Lord of the Flies was? Well, if you had any English in high school or college, you'll remember that the setting there was an island where prep-school boys had crashlanded. And all goes well, until they submit to their base instincts and become savages. When Richard (DiCaprio) and his friends find this island, that movie/book was the first thing I thought of. It's all there - the rituals, the diversions, the bonding-through-suffering. And it's all very, very well photographed, too. In fact, the more I looked at the island, the more it looked like the one in Survivor on CBS, only with fewer rats and a whole heaping helping of marijuana. Seems the people on the island are basically self-sufficient, leaving the world behind and taking care of themselves, save for occasional forays back to the mainland for goods they can't get on their own island.
This movie just solidifies the old theory that says if you take a mediocre actor and put him in a BIG MOVIE, where the BIG special effects are the main draw, he'll do just fine; put him in a movie where he actually needs to ACT, and he's not so hot. DiCaprio's character isn't particularly nice, which is fine; but he's also played in a hopeless, one-dimensional way, with a careless - not necessarily carefree - attitude. I'm sure DiCaprio is a good guy; at least I have no evidence to the contrary. But in this film, there simply isn't any THERE there. His character, essential to the plot, since he's the protagonist, is about as effective as the proverbial puptent in a windstorm.
It goes without saying that DiCaprio got script approval, too - coming off Titanic, and all - since he seems to be able to bed down with practically every female in the movie. Which is kind of eerie, since to me he looks about 12 years old. But hey - some people seem to think he's hot stuff. Oh, and despite a lot of swimming and rain, Leo's hair never seems to move much, but maybe I'm just nitpicking.
As for the plot - well, like most of the dung floating on the big screens these days, you should be able to predict it all the way through. Some of the actions of these islanders will leave you scratching your head. If this is what would happen in a paradise setting with so-called 'civilized' people, I'll take savage headhunting tribes any day.
I won't lay all of the blame on poor Leo. The acting is absolutely wretched, and the whole time I'm watching this dreck I'm wondering why these infantile boobs were even STAYING on the island. I know, that's a slap at the screenwriting as much as at the acting. But aside from the magnificent scenery, this is a virtually unwatchable movie.
Your best bet is to simply skip this yawner and check out Survivor itself. At least there the actions and reactions are a little more realistic - although, knowing how well-staged that show is, maybe not all THAT realistic.