Avengers represents everything that is wrong with blockbusters

Rating: 5/10 (22 August 2012)

I'll preface... I'm not a comic book reader. I enjoy fantasy, as long as it makes sense in its own self-created universe (Star Wars and Trek, Harry Potter, Superman). But the Avengers is awful, and even worse considering how highly rated this junk is on IMDb. It has a couple moments of delight (but so did the Phantom Menace), and the effects are state of the art, bar none. But, this is the 50th movie in a row where the photorealistic effects impressed me. Now, I'm afraid I need a real movie to use that CGI to good effect.
The Avengers fails for me due to the character combination. I didn't read a single comic book, but Universal released this huge budget movie knowing they will need to attract 10 new people for everyone who read the dusty old comic books. The Avengers are a dumb assembly of heroes. Captain America is an idiot character. He is from a different time, isn't good at anything modern (like why is he barking orders?), and has no powers whatsoever. Ditto for Black Widow and Hawkeye. I mean, the latter shoots friggin arrows. Cappy had a shield and punches guys within 5 feet of him. They are just plain lame. Thor is a GOD and the Hulk is invincible. They're immortal. Unstoppable. And Iron Man, with his impossible-to-believe suit which might as well be magic-based is also nearly invincible. Who needs the other 3? Why isn't Spiderman in this group? Or some of the X-Men? As for the humans, why do we have a city-sized aircraft carrier? That flies and looks amazingly like the big aircraft from Avatar? Why build a ship that flies? Okay, now the plot. I don't get it. This movie is 2:22 minutes. I don't even understand Loki's motivation or plan. Loki wants to blow up Earth? Why? Why do those Aliens/Clash of the Titans monsters want to blow up Earth? Why could Thor and Loki get to Earth but they can't without the magic portal? Are those monsters magical or technological? And that cube - seriously, they used the same lame McGuffin from Transformers. Which is a movie very much like this one. I mean that as an insult. What was Loki's plan, crumble the outer shells of buildings in NYC. Shoot a lot and not hit anyone? Not one human even seemed to get hit with all the devastation.
I hated it. My wife and kids hated it. My 9 year old son hated it. That says it all. It made no sense, was utterly talky and boring for a huge chunk of it. The Dark Knight wipes its rear end with this blu-ray disc. Avoid at all costs unless you liked Transformers 3, John Carter and Clash of the Titans.