"The Avengers"'s New Clothes

Rating: 6/10 (5 June 2012)

It so happened that "The Avengers" has quite naturally and comfortably occupied the box office throne. It almost effortlessly managed to get to the very top and join the selected company of such distinguished titans as "Avatar", "Titanic", "Harry Potter", "The Lord of the Rings", and "Pirates of the Caribbean".
In addition to the dazzling box office glory, "The Avengers" is enjoying an unprecedented public love of epic, almost unhealthy, flirting with obsession proportions.
Currently "The Avengers" confidently occupies the 39th position among the best movies of all time on IMDb – higher on the list than "Citizen Kane", "Alien", "American Beauty", "Vertigo", "The Green Mile", "Once Upon A Time in America","Amadeus","Some Like It Hot", or "Gone With The Wind".
The reviewers on Netflix are ecstatic and gush with admiration: "This was the best super hero movie ever! It had a great plot, and I enjoyed it incredibly!" "It has heart! It has humor" "Not a dull moment. The cast did an amazing job" "I loved this movie. It was fantastic" "This movie was amazing! All of the heroes were excellent" "The truth is that you can't scream enough praise for this movie"
And in the middle of all this euphoric madness, in the midst of all this frenzied rage, in the epicenter of all this outrageous triumph of the mediocrity produced by the never staying idle, overworked Hollywood assembly lines, we can barely hear a few sane, sober voices saying in a childlike amazement "Wait a minuteThe Emperor is naked!"
Yes, despite its colorful, glaring clothes mostly made of special effects, "The Avengers" is almost completely naked: there is no story, no good scenes or dialogs, no acting (because there is no substance), no core, no depth, no intrigue, no tension, no mystery, no heart, and, yes – no humor.
What is called humor in "The Avengers" does indeed have one positive component in it: there is no bathroom jokes so common in the modern comedies. No one is burping, vomiting, breaking winds, showing naked buttocks, doing any other indecencies or saying any other obscenities. Unfortunately, the humor in "The Avengers" has also a negative side: it is very primitive and quite unfunny.
The special effects in "The Avengers" are impressive, but chaotically purposeless, and not breathtaking or intelligent or deeply symbolic as in "Avatar" or "The Lord of the Rings".
The amounts of an exciting action in "The Avengers" are vast, and the density of the movie stars would make any blockbuster jealous. Nevertheless, those looking for anything more than a liberally seasoned with primitive humor collection of sloppily connected action sequences and special effects will be utterly disappointed.
However, judging by the box office success of "The Avengers", nothing else is at all needed... A bunch of the familiar from childhood pathetic cartoonish super heroes cheerfully kicking butts of a little less cartoonish, but still pathetic villains and almost effortlessly but incredibly heroically saving the world in their spare time is just enough to make most movie goers extremely happy.
There is nothing mysterious about this - after all, the most popular restaurant in the world is not a restaurant with the best food, or the most famous and skillful chef, or the nicest location, or the most elegant atmosphere, or the most exquisite wine list.
The Emperor of restaurants is McDonalds – a familiar from childhood good bargain with standard, very basic, not very healthy, but at the same time very addictive menu.
Those highly praising the story, the acting, and all the other non- existent components of "The Avengers" become like a patron, who after visiting a local McDonalds would suddenly blurt out something like "What an elegant atmosphere we enjoyed when we visited McDonalds last time! The waiters were so attentive! The menu was so intriguing! The food was of finest quality and don't forget about the location – the nicest in town!"
The hard truth is that whereas in my hypothetical example with McDonalds everyone understands that the patron talks nonsense, most of the moviegoers will not notice a striking discrepancy between the cheap, unimaginative fast food action they see on the screen and all the high praises that "The Avengers" receive
Indeed, Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of one who has no sense.
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