Very little to Marvel at here - a somewhat tame effort with an odd chuckle and a decent stunt, but mostly underwhelming.

Rating: 5/10 (31 December 2014)

When we observe a supporting character, a mere mortal – a defenceless human-being, in Joss Whedon's "Marvel: Avengers Assemble" decide to single-handedly take on a near-indestructible son of a God, purely so as to come to the aid of a SECOND son of God, who is trapped inside a glass box, although has at his disposal a large hammer, and indeed pays for it with their life, you know you're not mining particularly intelligent territory.
This largely disappointing 2012 effort begins in a quasi-Area 51 style military base where a mysterious blue cube is pulsating enough for a race of monsters, who dress like the creatures in "Stargate" but look like something you might have caught in an episode of "Power Rangers", located on the other side of the universe to be attracted to it. Like Stargate, although with the roles here reversed, Tom Hiddleston's Loki (turns out Nordic mythology was the one, true religion) emerges from a portal created by the cube into this top secret laboratory and steals the cube in order to fabricate it so that the rest of the war mongering creatures can come through at a later date to destroy all human life.
A measure as to his menace and ability is put across in two ways: first, the ease to which he neuters the human beings – finding no threat in automatic weaponry and 'converting' them to his cause through a magic staff. Second, the way in which he is framed so as to encompass an eagle-like emblem in the background (actually the badge of the good guys) as he utters "Freedom is life's great lie..." – something designed to invoke a Hitler-like personality with what resembles the German 'National Adler' behind him.
Later on, there will be a strange allusion to Nazi Germany again when, in Germany of all places, he forces a score of German citizens to kneel before him, with one brave citizen standing up and making some allusion to how there will "always exist people like you" people who "want power". Had it been me, I would have cited a very famous remark, actually made famous in the twentieth century by a Communist, which goes: "It's better to die on your feet than to live on your knees". Had I still been in one piece to offer a further retort, I would have recommended he hop on over to the Middle East, where they're heavily into sprawling themselves out on the floor because a deity tells them to. Loki's philosophy on human existence essentially being one of desiring submission would be right at home.
But nobody watching Marvel: Avengers Assemble will know of anything about German life between the wars, nor will they have heard of the Versailles Treaty, nor that Hitler commanded not for people to kneel before him, merely salute out of respect and recognise that his policies had made Germany a nation that was rich enough to fool itself into thinking the Great War never even happened.
After Loki's theft, an otherwise needless character played by Samuel L. Jackson, whose purpose in the film is to look cool wearing an eye-patch and firing a bazooka, gets together a string of superheroes whom have each had their own blockbusters from as recently as 2008. These are the titular Avengers, although what they are "avenging", we do not know and the film's title card appears on the screen as if itself a response to a character's asking "What do we do?" following Loki's theft of the cube doomsday device. Given this, the film ought to be entitled "Assemble (the) Avengers". Tossed in is an archer and an expert in kung-fu, because they offer an alternative way to kill an enemy to the main heroes, who can do nothing more than keep blowing them up or swatting them away with their power.
The film is mostly noise, but good looking noise; made more bearable by the wonderful editing during the action sequences, particularly when a flying battleship loses its ability to fly mid-air and New York City is besieged during the finale, wherein it is clear what each of our protagonists are doing; where they are in relation to each other and how they are going about fulfilling their tasks amidst the elements. The film is essentially Superman II with multiple Supermen; a concoction of 1994's "Street Fighter", wherein each character is designated a fight with every other one, despite some of them being on the same side, with Stephen Norrington's damp 2003 squib "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen".
I don't mind action films, but action films with a great deal of special effects are often somewhat tiresome affairs. This 2012 feature is no exception here. Over the last 25 years, Hollywood has proved time and time again that the best action films carry with them that grounded sense of base-level operation being propelled by realistic heroes. This is why the street; highway and inner-city set event movies of a "Speed" or a "Die Hard: With a Vengeance" will always be superior to a Marvel: Avengers Assemble, films that do not rely on a tremendous amount of special effects but provide you with enough chase; pomp and bullet-time to have you feel as if you are caught in a crossfire.
Should be unfortunate to catch this good looking, although ultimately vacuous, 2012 feature, I sense you will be disappointed. I was left dissatisfied in being asked to believe that there could exist a form of authentic theism AND the existence of an alien species elsewhere in the universe without any of it being explored; left perplexed at the tremendous amount of science on display, in Iron Man's suit and Bruce Banner's fascinating ability to shift into a separate molecular form – the likes of which essentially smashes the concept of creationism. It is harmless; inoffensive and does indeed fly past nicely, but there's nothing here to get excited about.