Avengers Assemble - Review

Rating: 8/10 (20 September 2012)

There are several reasons why this film fails as something a person should ever watch more than once. Firstly, there is a major lack of plot twists or changes to the story that might keep you on the edge of your seat; everything about the plot is insultingly linear and predictable and follows the most basic structure of 'goods versus evil' with a predictable injection of basic virtue and morals - in this case 'unity' and 'teamwork.' are clearly highlighted.
Secondly, the film manages to insult your most basic intelligence by showcasing unnecessary antics that are nothing more than fantastical nonsense. Think of an action scene and describe it in words; this is a way to bypass the lush graphics and realize that: a) while Iron Man is in space and is flying away from the portal, he somehow changes direction in the vacuum of space and returns through the portal. The Hulk, who cannot fly, jumps a few hundred feet in the air and catches Iron Man before bouncing off to safety. b) Nick Fury is violently gunned down, dusts himself down in time to evacuate the base. c) Captain America is shot down, dusts himself down and carries on. d) Black Widow, who also is incapable of flight, gives Captain America psychic eyeballing to communicate she wants to jump ten times her height into the air by bouncing off your shield so I can hijack a space-orcs flying motorcycle which is speeding towards us from a distance.
One could argue that it is not meant to be realistic and is mere entertainment. What becomes salient about Avengers Assemble is that there are no rules. The heroes never get stuck, never get challenged, they're never in any recognizable danger, there are no puzzles, any challenge is overcome easily and characters do as they please. No rules means no mystery, no interest and nothing to keep you on the edge of your seat.
Finally, the antagonist was hardly foreboding to ever present a sense of danger or worry against so many heroes, all equal protagonists, all dreadfully dull - especially Bruce Banner.