Highest no story rating ever!

Rating: 5/10 (21 September 2012)

Ever seen one of those muscle pageants where they flex and flex and flex and flex... and then they come back on and flex some more? Well, that's kind of what the Avengers is like. Nearly every scene is a huge climax and it's just a wet dream of adolescent violence and fantasy- with no one being held accountable for any character actions. I knew there wouldn't be much for story going into the big summer Marvel franchise comic book blockbuster, but I did expect an attempt at story. Look at Spiderman or to a lesser extent, Transformers. Sure, they sucked, but at least they tried. A blockbuster movie should be like a play to some extent, showing subtext and depth, rather than just defaulting on raw special effects exhibition. Why? Because these Billion dollar franchises can afford to hire the best writers in the world. But they don't. They feel that their numbers, data and formula will make them more money than the tried and true Aristotle/Socrates methods of portraying the human condition in a three act structure. And they're right. Money trumps all, for the film industry is at the end of the day, an industry that bases everything on huge profit margins (one the largest margins in the history of mankind, in fact).
However, if you look at some of the masterpiece visual effects movies of the last few decades (which Avengers tried so hard to be), there is a common thread that puts them above the rest: They all engage in creative storytelling where characters are held accountable for their actions in some way, no matter what the level of fantasy is. That extra effort pays off in the subconscious and is the sole reason why a movie with effects alone can't give us the cerebral satisfaction of a Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Lord of the Rings, Avatar, Aliens, or Terminator 2. These type of films are like a Broadway show, giving you big climaxes and well timed beats. You could say The Matrix would be more like a Cirque du Soleil. The Avengers is like the body building pageant(as the Avengers themselves are constantly trying to out flex each other throughout the whole movie).
I have a rule, regarding my 1-10 movie rating system: Any movie without a story can only score a maximum of 5 (flawless effects-great acting-no story, respectfully) This is not to say that all the writing was bad in The Avengers. The dialogue was actually quite clever- perfectly timed comic relief. It's strange that Hollywood is notoriously bad at delivering honest, unscathed human emotion and experience, but so good at delivering comic relief (one of the hardest things to do in all entertainment). Here's The Avengers story synopsis: All the leads are invincible- action, action, action- One of them has turned bad and tries to take over the world-action, action, action- he fails, but lives at the end to set up the sequel, action action, Roll credits. It literally plays like it was written by a 10 year old boy who plays with action figures in his back yard. (then spiced up by a team of ghost writers with well placed jokes and lots of Downey Jr. nuances) Wouldn't surprise me if that' what actually happened.
Is Avengers worth watching? Yes. The acting is great (except for Scarlett Johnasson- who is brilliant in her own right, but NOT a believable superhero). It's funny and very intense. Big action, big sound, testosterone, gunfire, some bow&arrow action, missiles, gadgets, rocket powered things, aliens, a nuclear bomb, martial arts sequences, gunfire, even a touch of romance. A man's movie, through and through.
But I'm not so sure. I think any good "man" movie should actually have in depth storytelling (The Matrix, Aliens, Aeon Flux) Why not go the extra mile, guys? Comic book movies should be held to the task especially, because it was good storytelling that made their franchise pop in the first place. Film is a different medium. You can't just expect everyone to know all the backstory- and make things bad ass for the sake of seeing something bad ass. You have to work at it a lot harder to tell an effective story in an arena where you are being timed to 2 hours of attention span. Avengers fails, just like most comic book movies. Sin City is a great example of effectively crossing over from comic book (graphic novel) into the film medium.
It would be nice if Hollywood spent just 1% of the 200,000,000.00 spent on a movie like this, toward paying a team of talented screen writers. Imagine if David Mamet had written this... or Aaron Sorkin? With all the money and power and technology and talented artists bursting at the seams (like the Hulk) to exhibit their skills... it just seems like a no brainer to show us what money can really buy.
So, it's a no brainer movie. Just really good eye candy and a few laughs.