I don't get it; or do I...

Rating: 3/10 (15 August 2012)

The emperor has no clothes. Talkies took over for a reason. They're better! So much so that Hollywood stopped making silent movies instantly; productions were halted. I watched much of the later parts of this film on fast forward. Happily, seemingly, without losing anything. It annoys me that Hollywood has so little regard for movies. This story has been told and better. Do yourself a favor and just rent "Singin' in the Rain (1952)" So why the 3? It is not entirely without merit and they won't let me give it a negative to balance the other reviews. This is not a good movie. It's a foreign film about a uniquely American experience and they have no idea. The more I write the madder I'm getting. Asking a foreigner to explain American cinema is like asking a hamster to explain the space shuttle. Back when we had a space program. Don't get me started. Back in the day American films swept the world. What did y'all give us, two world wars. Thanks! sarcasm intended. American movies don't do suicide. The bad guys didn't win. It wasn't reality, it was American. I don't do reality. That's why I go to the movies. I like the question: "why are foreign films so foreign?" Still a 3. The "meet-cute" was cute. I enjoyed the flashing eyes but they went on far too long. I thought the character's name was inappropriate. Valentino without the "o"? In the coat rack scene there were fingers in the sleeve too soon. Oops! Some of the foreshadowing was good it helped create an American ending. A necessity I greatly feared they would mess up. Now for my American ending: I'm sorry I lost my temper, NOT! It was fun but to be fair "The Artist" (oh, ouch bad title, still I'm going to say something nice) has something. Probably style. The guy is handsome, the girl is pretty, the dog is cute. Yep! A 3, two full points above totally horrible. If Hollywood will just give this guy a chance and a whole lot of guidance he might make a good movie about France or something. It could happen. Probably won't but it could. Am I allowed to say he reminds me of Peter Lorre? It's probably wrong but he made me mad and that too is the American way. God help us.