Worse than I was expecting.

Rating: 2/10 (10 August 2018)

Before I watched this movie, I had enjoyed plenty of reviews calling it terrible, and seen plenty of people online mock it for being the worst version of Spider-Man out there. I also noticed that some people liked it. When I put the Netflix DVD into the DVD player, I was hoping that at the very least it would be mediocre. Sadly, it was not.
Story - This movie is ridiculously contrived, full of scenes and subplots that make little sense. Its uninteresting and generic. The only genuine enjoyment that I found in this movie is from one or two scenes that were actually good. One or two scenes in a 2hour+ movie. Other than those, I spent the runtime laughing at how bad the movie was. If you aren't the kind of person who can find enjoyment in laughing at how bad a movie can be, then you will be bored watching this abysmal iteration of Spider-Man.
Characters - I don't really blame the actors for their terrible performances. With the dialogue they are given, it would take the greatest actors on the planet to make it work. The words they say are cringey and unrealistic. Few instances of banter actually work (there is like one scene where Spider-Man is messing around with a criminal and it is honestly enjoyable. Doesn't save the movie though). Every time the movie tries to deliver on some kind of emotion, it fails miserably. I was laughing at the pure stupidity at what is Uncle Ben's death scene.
Effects/Action - How is it that the effects in Spider-Man (2002) which came out ten years before this one had better effects? Simple answer, this movie is over-reliant on CGI. The great thing about having characters that wear masks that conceal their entire faces is that at any point you can swap out the actor for a stunt man who can do the trick so that the scene looks as real as possible. For some reason, the people who made this movie decided against that and just used CG for most of the fight scenes. There are some bits with Spider-Man that look ok, but The Lizard looks so bad its not even funny. I wouldn't care as much about the effects if the characters were entertaining or the situations were well-written, but they aren't.
Sound Design - Its ok, but the music choices suck.
I don't really have anything else to say about this movie. Its not worth watching except maybe on a so-bad-that-its-good level. It does get pretty boring and there's only so much hilarity to be found in unrealistic plot contrivances. If you're a fan of Spider-Man, this movie will make you mad and/or make you appreciate the other versions of him even more. Other than a few exceptions, I would not recommend this movie.