Crap Fest

Rating: 2/10 (9 July 2012)

First, this movie should have never been made. It was horrid. About 1/4 way through the movie I started realizing I was watching a mixture of the original made for TV movie Spider-man and the 1st Toby McGuire Spider-man. This movie was NOT darker or grittier regardless of what the teens are saying. this movie wouldn't know depth or complexity if it were a combination of War & Peace, Bethoven's 5th and the contemplations of Socrates multiplied by Freud's mother and factored by the theory of relativity and then divided by quantum mechanics.
Second, The whole Uncle Ben dying scene was crappy. It was a lame half butt attempt at re-capturing the effect Raimi's had in the McGuire Spider-man. They even ripped off a line from Raimi as the thief ran away and only change done word. Not my problem became Not my policy. Real creative.
Third, the chemistry between Stone and Garfield sucked. The two of them dating in real life does NOT translate well on screen and as an added bonus Stone does not translate well as a blonde. It just doesn't work for her. The romance is rushed over 3 scenes and goes that fast from non existent and seemingly Flash's girl to all of a sudden in love with Peter.
Fourth, The lizard was horrible in graphic depiction. Why did we go back to early 90's effects for this? Why bother to show the start of henchmen only to never revisit them at all or even use them?
Fifth, Garfield suck as Spider-man, he does mildly OK as Peter Parker. They even hammed up the New York behind Spidey scene by having him swing down the street using cranes that lined up just for that purpose. It was lame, shoddy camera work and poor execution. It came across goofy.
Sixth, the suit sucked, the concept of the web was stolen from the original TV Spider-man, the spider s ymbol stolen from Marvel's depiction of Miguel O'hara as sSidey of the future and in this movie was actually done worse by combining the past and the future elements. Peter Parker was a science geek not an electronics guru. (not to mention I hate the entire concept of web technology on his wrists. Spidey need smore web than those thing scan ever produce.)
Seventh, what nerd uses Bing for a search engine? That wasn't even mildly believable.
Eighth, the development of the character was crap. He comes off as cocky and arrogant and thoughtless. This wasn't a hero, this was a punk.
Ninth, Harry. Nuff said.
Tenth. If you make a sequel to this piece of filth I sincerely hope it tanks. This film was utterly craptastic.