Not So Amazing Spider Man

Rating: 3/10 (18 October 2012)

Well, this is my very first review I'm writing here on IMDb, and unfortunately, it has to be Amazing Spider Man. OK, to cut right to the chase here: This reboot/remake/whatever you want to call it is LACKLUSTRE AND UNINSPIRED! That's the short review. Here's a bit more insight from my mind...
At first, when I heard that the idea was to take Spidey back to his roots and the original mannerisms and situations from the old Stan Lee/John Romita days of the early comics, I was very excited! Gwen Stacy instead of Mary Jane Watson? Hooray! Spidey cracking wise and being a perpetual smart ass, instead of being mute through all his exploits? Hooray! The Lizard being the first villain...uh,....hooray? Maybe not.
Right off the bat, let me tell you that YET AGAIN, comic book fans are force fed YET ANOTHER long boring drawn out Origin Story. Look, I get that there are newbie movie goers who may not have ever picked up a comic book in their life and may not have very much insight into Spider Man and all the related characters. But did we REALLY have to go through ANOTHER litany of "Peter is a nerd outcast, likes a pretty girl, gets bit by an abnormal spider, gets powers, etc. ad infinitum, ad nausea... It's the same with every time they start a new superhero franchise. You know damned well you're not going to see the superhero in full costume and battle gear for AT LEAST a good hour in, nor are you going to see any superhero vs. supervillian battles for even longer then that, because not only do we have to baby step the audience through every facet of the hero, we also have to have extraneous back-story on the bad guy, who he is, what got him to be bad, his relationship with the superhero, which is in some way, shape or form the clichéd "mirror image" of what the hero has become, and so on and so on... God, I'm sick of origin stories... But I digress...
So, The Amazing Spider Man does try to bring to the screen what longtime Spidey fans loved in the comics, except...
The leads, Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone, are visibly too old to even try to pass them off as teenagers. Even portraying them as college age would be pushing it.
The supporting cast, Dennis Leary, Martin Sheen, Sally Field, superlative actors all, are all horribly miscast in their respective roles as Capt. Stacy, Uncle Ben and Aunt May. Not one iota of these characters that we know and love is visible in any facet of their performances, not one little bit.
They totally bastardized the entire lesson of Spider-Man: "With great power comes great responsibility." For chrissakes, they don't even say that line verbatim! Sheen as Uncle Ben tries to tell Peter this, but he completely rewords the statement, and the point of the lesson, and the existence of Spider Man in the first place, is lost. If nothing else, the younger kids, who are obviously the target demographic for this film, should hear the correct version of this dialog, so they'll at least have that to take away from this film. What a shame...
Then there's the Lizard... You know what? When the Lizard came into the proceedings is about where I bailed on this film, and I don't think I've ever turned off a superhero movie. This was a first. So, technically, this film review is really only about three quarters complete, give or take some minutes. But based on what I watched, I came away not angry, or outraged, just bored and somewhat disappointed.
It's films like this that make me frightened that I'm getting too old for this superhero stuff anymore.
Bottom line: If you're a Marvel Comics fan, or a Spider Man fan, or any kind of superhero fan, stay away from this one. Go watch The Avengers again, at least you get your money's worth there! And, I'm out!