The Amazing Spider-Man Movie Has Already Been Made

Rating: 3/10 (4 July 2012)

I don't have an argument that Spider-Man's origin story didn't need to be remade for I've seen plenty of very decent to mediocre reboots before. But, what makes this a worthless remake was that it backtracked on all that was good before it.
Heart, soul, good soundtrack, excellent score, acting, chemistry, heroism, humor and quotable dialogue were present in the original Spider-Man movies – and yeah, even #3. This movie lacked ALL of those. Heck, it even deleted one of the main characters and often hilarious: J. Johan Jameson. Shame.
I was even willing to over look the obvious first hour or so that inevitably retold the same old story of pansy Parker, a love interest, the bullies, the Aunt & Uncle, the spider bite, the transformation and the first try-outs. Without anyone (and I guess me now) spoiling that, we all knew that was coming. But, what I didn't foresee was how blah it all was going to be. How boring and trite.
And pleasePLEASE do not let the advertisements fool you into filling a seat for a movie you've seen before: "The Untold Story" was about as revealing as finding out about Ellen Ripley's all-but irrelevant daughter in the director's cut of Aliens.
What the movie is trying to tell us is that Spider-Man is a hero, that he loves Gwen Stacy and that, despite how great the Hulk looked in The Avengers, a giant lizard man can look real on screen using 1996's technology. No apologies: I didn't buy any one of these things the script displayed. In fact, it showed so much and yet, so much felt left out. So many story lines began and either faded or we're given half-ass explanations.
Don't get me wrong; I didn't full-on hate on The Amazing Spider-Man. Of the approximately 20 minutes (of 136) of screen time Spidey was on the screen, he lookeddecent, albeit the shots still looked like deleted scenes from the previous series. And even though Tobey Maguire spun webs around Andrew Garfield's Parker, he still did a good job. I will even give it to both the script and Garfield: Spider-Man's signature sarcasm was funnier this time around.
Is it redundant to give the synopsis since I already reviewed the 10-year-old original? Yes, except this time around instead of a green bad guy from Oscorp being human, this one had a green bad guy from Oscorp being a laughable CGI Godzilla offspring. Oh, and as much as I love Emma Stone, her character, Gwen Stacy, first introduced in Spider-Man 3, was so lifeless, you'd have to miss Kirsten Dunst's Mary Jane.
I simply cannot recommend this movie. Again, of the 136 minutes, 40 were good, but that did not outweigh the bad-3-D effects or 96 other slow-paced, unoriginal and uninspiring minutes.