Amazing? No... But In terms of a No. 2 - Spot On!

Rating: Null/10 (22 July 2016)

It was a cold February evening back in 2010. I was walking my dogs in the rangers and it was quite a frosty day FYI so the ground was quite damp and wet. Now as I was walking I slipped and as I did I fell into a pile of dog crap. This wasn't some Poodle's doing were talking about, I'm talking Great Dane business. Maybe it was the frost but it was also quite soggy itself. So not a pleasant experience and I had to walk back home smelling of this dog dung, with my dignity and humility gone.
Amazing Spiderman 2 makes that dog crap seem like a Thornton's Chocolate Layer Cake. I mean that with 100% absolute honesty. I just want to say I remember seeing the first Amazing Spiderman thinking this really is as bad as it gets. But boy oh boy did they prove me wrong.
You know how you look at things and think how in God's name did you get there. I call this 'the Trump effect'. Amazing Spiderman 2 epitomises this effect - as I was watching the film I was thinking, how did they manage to raise $200 million dollars to finance this film project and that was the result. $200 million! 200 MILLION! Let that sink in for a moment. that's real money right there spent on the film you have watched. (I would hit myself but I'm saving it for something worthwhile later).
And like Trump, while I sat and watched this film shocked at its absurdity I had to sit there and think this is so ridiculous its sadly become enjoyable. I mean when you jump of a building onto a bicycle with no seat, you can either a) Experience the pain and agony or b) Think 'you know what this is a pretty funny situation.' Perhaps I should start with the beginning.
1)We meet Jamie fox's character. A troubled individual with poor social skills who only wants to be recognised by his Hero Spiderman (I'll give the writers originality points for that). Spiderman saves Jamie and they have a cute bonding session for his birthday. Now we saw the trailer so I know he becomes this 'Electro' character and I was wondering how they were going to pull him off. So I was awe when I realised that the character become Electro by falling into a pool of eels. Now I don't know about you but I know a middle finger when I see one, and Jamie Fox falling into an Eel tank takes the cake. Electro then goes on a mini rampage and Spiderman comes to the rescue but forgets Jamie's character's name. The most obvious human reaction to this event would of course be for Electro to start destroying Time Square with electrical currents and suddenly turning on Spiderman who used to be his long life hero. So lesson number 1, if you ever meet someone emotionally unstable who has accidentally fallen into an eel tank giving the person super human abilities to supply and take in electrical currents. dear god remember their name.
2)Next the side plot Airplane collision scene. The clever writers of this film in their storyboard room decided 'you know what this film needs, a completely unrelated incident were two airplanes are about to collide during Spiderman's big battle with Electro – because you know what we can'. Slaps forehead*.
3)And now Andrew Garfield. Very fitting name for someone who has the acting capability in this film to that of an orange cat. I mean the kid makes me root for the two planes to crash. Also, the actor has as much charisma as a Lidl's Weetabix and the fact he landed this role really sums up the experience. Lesson number 2/ You apparently don't need to act in an acting role.
I could go on ladies and gents but frankly I don't have the time. But in short is the Amazing Spiderman 2 worthwhile? Let me sum that up with a quote from the film.'No'.
No one wanted a new Spiderman reboot. We got one. No one wanted a second sequel of that reboot. We got one. At least now we can know that hopefully the producers have learnt their lesson to maybe leave a longer gap between the original films and a new reboot.
I mean what are they going to do know? Reboot a Reboot? It makes me chuckle just thinking of the ideaoh wait.