Web of woeful.

Rating: 4/10 (24 April 2014)

Let me start by saying that 30 minutes into this film i was just about to get up, casually walk down the stairs in the aisle, leave and go do something better with my time. The so called comedy that Spiderman so infuriatingly tries to convey is embarrassing. How can you expect the viewer to take any villain as a threat when all this pubescent dweeb does is make horrible, i repeat horrible, "jokes" in the middle of fight scenes. It really is a mystery to me. And i know that it is trying to stay true to the comic, where little spidey will "say something funny" in the midst of battle, but there are things from the comic that shouldn't be incorporated into the movie because it doesn't come across comical. Instead it makes it excruciating to watch.
Andrew Garfield is terrible as Spiderman; absolutely terrible. Is it his fault his dialogue and direction is detestable? Probably not, but his clear inability to execute them is. I do not rate him as an actor at all. And whilst he is dragging the film down Dane Dehaan is the small glimpse of hope to the film. He shows grit in his role as Harry Osborn/Green Goblin. It is his performance alongside the excellent action scenes that make this film watchable in my opinion.
Spiderman, undoubtedly has massive potential, but instead of capitalizing on it, Mark Webb (the irony kills me) has instead decided to cash in on a rising trend in films. I'll call it "The Twilight Trend". Films focused solely on attracting teenagers. First was "Twilight", showing how NOT to do a film about Vampires and Werewolves. Then came "Hunger Games"; which was a little baby version of "Battle Royale". Then came "The Host" which gave all the gullible, love seeking teenagers a movie about an Invasion of Aliens. Next it was "Divergent" which is an abysmal version of "Equilibrium". You'll notice that all these are based on books. And it has (in different masses) had droves of teenagers flood to see them, become infatuated with them, obsess over them. Spiderman reminded me of all those films. It was cheesy like them, it was soul-less like them, it was a watered down version of what it should be. All about a love story and nothing about an impending threat to the World.
As i said the action scenes where phenomenal; great to see. But every now and then this nerdy voice would spit out a sarcastic slur, and in an instant i would be unhooked. The potential for Spiderman is limitless and no doubt when it has run its course of pleasing little screaming teenagers, it will reboot. And i can only hope, that next time around they take it seriously and maybe bump it up to a 15 certificate, which would give more room for conviction.
4/10 for action scenes and Dane Dehaan.