What a flop!

Rating: 5/10 (30 August 2014)

I've read some of the reviews for the movie at IMDb and I am absolutely convinced that a lot of them are paid for. There are so many things wrong with this film that I cannot imagine someone liking it, not to mention calling it "amazing" and "electrifying".
The problems start from the very first scenes. You have some thugs stealing nuclear material from an armored truck, all the while driving in a huge tow truck that smashes through everything: police cars, normal cars, buses, you name it. What does Spidey do? He comes swinging and starts talking with the guy, making jokes all the while. Then we spend a quarter of a movie seeing him trying to push away the woman that he loves because she wants her safe, then coming back because he loves her too much. Meanwhile, all the people that he cares about or that he saves their lives seem to turn to pointless villains that want to kill him.
Are the special effects nice, then? They start off nice enough, but then they go so far into CGI land that it all feels like a Road Runner cartoon. Is the acting good? No! All the dialogues are so bad that you can actually see actors cringing while saying them. Action scenes? CGI overload. Logic? nonexistent. Science? Raped repeatedly. Moral of the story? Not there. There is no point in anything anyone does in the movie. They don't even have a post credits scene.
Bottom line: I like superhero and comic book fantasies and I think I can get in the spirit of things quite easily. After all, I watched every Spiderman movie so far, and they are all about a guy in pajamas swinging from building to build (when he is not whining - or dancing). I also realize that the concept itself is both difficult to promote in a modern world and to put in a live action film (that is why so many of them turn into CGI cartoons most of the time). However this film I couldn't not hate it. It is so bad in so many ways that I feel anger for having watched it. It's how I imagined the Mutant Teenage Ninja Turtles movie to be when I decided not to watch it. I shudder at the thought that it might be worse. Do. Not. Watch. This. Filth.