The 99% Want Their Money Back, TInTin

Rating: 2/10 (10 November 2011)

I just watched TinTin and I couldn't help thinking what a horrible waste of 130 million dollars. Why are the Occupy people protesting Wall Street, when the biggest waste of American dollars is by far coming out of Hollywood. I mean, I guess if you're a fan of TinTin, or if you find some significance in the fact that a mediocre combination of Raiders of the Lost Arc and Pirates of the Caribbean was created in 3D animation, you may find some value in this big dud. But looking at it from my perspective, from someone who when he first saw the poster for this bomb thought it was for a Rin Tin Tin movie, and who has never even heard of TinTin, but beyond that who values movies for their plot, acting and plausibility above all else: this is by far the worst movie of 2011. If Steven Spielberg had bothered to actually make a live action film, he would have had to train a dog to act like it understands the English language, justify how our heroes flew to Africa on fumes burped out of a drunk, create all those big noses and make them look realistic, and actually instruct the actors to act. Now that would have been a good movie. Instead, we get an eagle that has somehow been trained to fetch a particular shred of paper, characters who know they are in danger yet without fail wander off to get whacked on the head and captured and who insist on pointing out the obvious ("Two boats are missing! One of them must have been a decoy!" --duh). And if you aren't familiar with TinTin forget about it, because this story jumps right into the adventure from moment one without introducing the characters or allowing us to understand their motivations. I said to myself, okay, some red headed kid with a weird haircut is doing all the things I would expect from Indiana Jones--why should I care? And for an animated film, this one isn't exactly for kids. TinTin carries a pistol and uses it, people are tied up and dropped into the ocean to drown, someone tries to shoot someone else with a bazooka, along with various other PG violence. So who is the target audience? It's too silly for adults and too violent for kids. What a waste of 130 million dollars. Blah.