Pointless

Rating: 2/10 (27 December 2011)

This isn't the worst movie ever made, but it certainly lacks... well, anything of value. It all just meanders around, always making you think that something is about to happen, but nothing ever does. In many ways it's very similar to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, but it feels twice as long and is even less entertaining. There's a terribly weak MacGuffin that sets everything into motion (or at least the appearance of motion), then a young man goes chasing after it for little reason other than curiosity, then he partners up with a salty older man whose key characteristic is that he's a hopeless drunkard (a simple switch of focus from older male lead to younger). Oh, and there's a terrible, hopelessly mean baddie... who does what villains do. There are several instances of Indiana Jones-like chase scenes and blah, blah, blah... It just gets bogged down in so much, "been there, done that" territory, all the while spinning and whipping you around during long, increasingly boring attempts at "set pieces" where the camera seems to never stop flipping and turning and careening in and out of bubbles or reflections in swords or puddles and drawing faaaaar too much attention to each transition between nearly every shot! So not only is there nothing going on, there is SO MUCH nothing going on that it's difficult not to throw your 3D glasses to the floor and stomp out only an hour into the whole mess... which is precisely what we did (well, it may have been an hour and 15 minutes into it). Oh, and the last straw was really the fact that the MacGuffin is simply sunken treasure... Give me a break! There MUST be more interesting things to search for in this world besides freaking sunken treasure!!! Sure, it may have turned out to be something a bit more interesting, but after an hour and however long, it was too painful to imagine sitting through another 30 or so minutes of the blandest bit of flashy mediocrity I've seen in ages.