Good reviewers must have accepted bribes

Rating: Null/10 (19 September 2011)

Would have given it zero but site wouldn't let me.
My cat scratched me half way through the film. He never does that! When I looked at the scratch on my arm, it said 'turn it off or you lose an eye'...
OK, he didn't really but I wished he had. I have a theory. When actors realize that they are in a turkey, they detach from their roles and play it by numbers. Matt Damon is one of my favorite actors but he could do nothing with this.
The script was poor, the drama non existent. I found myself wishing that a tragedy might occur just to give it some life.
I felt sorry for the poor dude who was her fiancé. What did he do to deserve such a witch for a girlfriend.
The whole 'god' narrative was lamer than an episode of The 700 Club.
Sorry guys. If you reviewed this movie well you are a lobbyist for Universal.
signed filmysuckerson