Why God, why?

Rating: 3/10 (17 December 2005)

Today's Topic - The Horror That is the Cinematic Travesty that is The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
I saw this movie recently. I was intrigued. In out modern society it seems less likely than ever that a 40-Year-Old (40YO) could not have had sex, but the possibility is still there. I wondered if this movie had the potential to tackle a serious issue; is it possible for a person to not have sex. The argument is made constantly that sex is a part of our being, that we are animals and that's how we were made. I have problems with this. One being the idea that my significance in this world is no more than my cat's. I know I am further developed than my cat, but if my reason to reproduce doesn't run any deeper than "I was programmed to" then what's my purpose. This heads into some deeper philosophy I don't know how to address, so we'll move on.
I go to see the movie (at a dollar theater mind you. and on 50 cent Tuesdays. please don't begin to think I was about to blow 7 dollars on this...) and my question is answered immediately. From square one, the movie operates under the premise that if you don't have sex, you remain socially awkward and inadequate until you do. I can see this as a possibility, but only because it is possible to remain abstinent, and be socially awkward simultaneously, not because one implies the other.
The movie continues in this vein. A 15 minute set up for a joke that probably functions off the socially dictated humor of hilarity through vulgarity. There is, however, a spot in my "humor heart" for vulgar humor. The occasional dirty joke will amuse me, sometimes more than it should. The 40YOV succeeded not. At no time did I feel the set up for a joke was worth it. The joke never became so funny that we forgot about the stupidity we tolerated for 15 minutes to get there.
Relationships form throughout the film, but we never see them develop. As his friends try to do their best to help him finally get laid (as if he hasn't tried in his 40year-old life) they being to learn life lessons from this unexpected source. I know, how is it that a person who has never had sex have any wisdom in relationships? How could this be? Isn't all knowledge learned through intercourse? No wonder I've been so confused for this first 20 years... I better have sex soon, otherwise I'll never graduate.
As I was discussing this movie with others, which was possibly the most immature conversation about film I've ever had, I was blown away to find that they actually liked it. I don't want to be misquoted but I distinctly remember the words, "awesome", "hilarious", and "sooooo funny" being brought up. I was learned though...
I asked them, what's the point? "There is no point", they said. "It's like trying to find meaning in something that doesn't have meaning." Normally I would accept this as a valid argument, but it's not. There was meaning in this film. The direction deliberately put in "moments". Looks that characters would have, realizations they would vocalize, etc. There was a point to the film, but the film itself refused to recognize it. The film ended in an irrelevant song and dance, not addressing any of the issues that they brought up through out the pointless two hours prior.
I also had serious issues with how the film addressed the serious issues. Not having sex is a huge decision. Some people, like myself, choose to live a sexless life (at least not until I am married, which may never be) and although I was not offended by their addressing of the lifestyle, some others may be. Offendeness set aside, I felt very awkward at some moments. The camera was in the room when he and his new wife were consummating their marriage... ::shudder:: ... 'nuff said.
I'm done ranting now. No one will read this, but I can't believe that this movie was made. It's absolutely terrible, the humor (in every brand) is unjustified and mundane, and the producers of the film thought they were the funniest people on earth.... Which, by the way, is a vile lie.
If you feel robbed by this shoddy ending to what may have started out to be a decent review, then you have a rough idea of what it feels like to sit through this movie and feel robbed of not only your money, but your time and mental health.