Virgin Suicides or 40 Years of the Lowest Common Denominator

Rating: 1/10 (29 October 2006)

I am reminded of that old punk song "..I'd rather cut my wrists and slash my throat, than spend the night with you..." I am begging you not to see this.
I did not laugh even once. And after all the hype and positive reviews, I am truly dumbfounded. Look, I like Beavis & Butthead as much as the next piXel, but I have a feeling I know what they might say about this. So do you.
If you are 18-25 and want some doody humor, get something good like early John Waters. As for the "sex comedy" aspect, stick to "Green Acres." This has to be some kind of calculated lowest common denominator appeal to the most amount of willingly wasted cash. More "sack on chin" humor? Why? As for the story, you'd have to suspend your disbelief in the value of your time and money to buy any of this nonsense.
Unless you want to fund future Carrell projects, and I have a feeling that would be a worthy cause, go elsewhere. Better yet, just send him the money directly and don't waste your time. He will be doing something much better than this I'm sure. I hope he brings his buddies from Ron Burgundy along, i.e., Messrs. "Whammy," and "Sex Panther." Now that was a stupid movie, but it was also 9/10 hilarious watch it over & over funny. If you liked that, you'll hate this.
Howwever, I thought Elizabeth Banks was very good. There was some sex appeal going on there, no doubt. Plus, her character seemed pretty real to me. I might've been married to her once. I liked Romany Malco too.
Still, it didn't gel. Maybe its me. But if you are reading this because you can't believe what you just saw, you are not alone.
Here's a plot question that does not contain a spoiler: why didn't the kindly, old couple upstairs neglect to "get it on" to Barry White or something? Now THAT might've been funny.
Run, don't walk away from this delight.