A Stranger in a Strange Movie

Rating: Null/10 (1 May 2000)

I prefer to review movies on their own merits and not compare them to other films. I don't think that's fair. YET
The 13th Warrior has me very frustrated. It SHOULD have been Braveheart for the Vikings, taking you back in time to glory in an ethnic legend and the nobility of fighting for a cause. Instead, The 13th Warrior is more like a bad martial arts movie, with violence for the sake of violence and effects. You can almost hear Beavis and Butthead breathing, `Huh, huh. He cut off his arm with a sword. Cooooooool!'
Oh, there's a lot of story behind The 13th Warrior. You just have to look it up on your own after you watch the movie. There's Nordic folklore involved, a fun little sect called the Eaters of the Dead. Michael Crichton wrote the book about it and helped on the screenplay, but much of the actual `meat' of this Viking tale ended up in the scrap heap.
Instead, you have Antonio Banderas playing a pretty foreigner who's sent away from a comfortable Arab life because he covets his ruler's wife. He's immersed in the North Culture and even learns their language at an amazing rate. That's so they can all talk english for the rest of the movie, but there's really not much need for that, as talk is secondary to battle.
His new found friends are facing a frightening foe that feeds on its victims when the fog rolls in and would seem to be unstoppable. A witch prophesizes that a stranger must be the thirteenth warrior in the posse if they're to defeat the enemy. Conveniently, Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan (Banderas) has recently arrived, and he fits the bill. But this stranger says he's a lover not a fighter.
As William Wallace's father said, `It's our wits that make us men.' And Ahmed proves his worth as a man among Norsemen.
This is a gorgeous film. The characters and their costume are all very authentic looking. The scenery is spectacular, so much so that I watched the end credits specifically to see where they shot it (British Columbia, Canada). But in the end, I can not give props to cinematographer Peter Menzies, Junior, because while the battles are intense and fun, they all take place in the dark and fog, and many times you can't tell who's zooming who!
The 13th Warrior is rated R for the bloody battles and carnage. It's an interesting look at the Nordic people and legends from an outsider's perspective, earning a three and a half on my scale, 0-5. If you like action over actual conversation, The 13th Warrior is your Valhalla.