abysmal... and I don't mean the cave!

Rating: 2/10 (14 September 1999)

The gore was ok, though. To me it all looked a bit like a live-roleplay session with first-choice equipment and the usual improvised plot:
GM: You now come to a very rural village in the middle of nowhere. Player: Do we notice anything special? GM: Yes, there are no fortifications and no fighting men to be seen.
Village king: Oh, by the way we lost Thorvaldtstaett two years ago and demons burnt Smoerebroet last year. Player: I don't believe that crap. Village king: But we got an eye witness here. Enter the eye witness who starts his lament.
Player: This is the end we are about to die here! GM: Errrmm, you hear a distant horn signal and the attackers withdraw. Player: Wow, this was a close one. GM grins...
Then, where does the Arab fit in, THE 13th warrior? Apart from fooling around with the sword before reforging it to proper Arabian shape, becoming sick on the boat and puking into the forest there is nothing special about the character or his part in the plot. Maybe, to get another couple of shots in without bleeding the thin plot before time?
Agreed, the movie got its moments which in the end makes it all-in-all the more frustrating. The idea of the supernatural enemy is nice and works really good until they come down the mountain in numbers. The "kill the brain to get rid of the body"-solution, in the way it was provided, only produces a feeling of nauseous deja-vu in the state-of-the-art movie-addict. No, I prefer to have a go at 7 Samurai for the 13th time instead.
My advice: Do not go to your local cinema unless a toothless old hag throws some carved bones at you.