13th Warrior and They Still Haven't Done This Right.

Rating: 2/10 (3 September 2015)

The 13th Warrior (1999): Dir: John McTiernan / Cast: Antonio Banderas, Diane Venora, Omar Sharif, Vladimir Kulich, Clive Russell: Savage blood bath of fear as cannibals behead victims in all its gory detail. It doesn't make one bit of difference what number Antonio Banderas is. We know he is suppose to fight off these cannibals and basically kicked their asses. These warriors come across a village that live in fear of cannibals known as the Eaters of the Dead. They attack when the mist is out and take the heads of the victims. The warriors realize that they may have to seek out the cave of the enemy. Predictable, repetitious and extremely graphic. The visual elements succeed and director John McTiernan provides tension. This would seem fitting material for him, having previously made Predator. Both films are similar in that faceless warriors are killed by a nearly unseen force, and it boils down to one person to make the difference. Banderas labors under flat material. He never emerges as a personality. He fears, trains then goes out and fights. During this retaliation more warriors are slain in graphic detail. Diane Venora, Vladimir Kulich and Omar Sharif are wasted in cardboard appearances. This film is so relentlessly graphic that it is about as much fun as witnessing a live birth. Pointless encore of brutality and disgust that should be placed in a grinder. Score: 2 / 10