What a load of twaddle.

Rating: 1/10 (15 March 2005)

This is by far the WORST movie I have ever seen. Worse even than... lets say....... Jeepers Creepers 2. Never on earth have I seen such a shoddy attempt at combining several different genres. I mean please, Vikings, Arabs, Celts, Red Indians, Paeleolithic cave dwellers and hedge witches, all with American, Spanish or Eddie Izzard style accents just do not mix for heaven's sake! Not to mention the one dimensional love interest. Ugh. Doesn't this girl have anything better to do whilst being attacked by men in bear costumes? The only part I did like, however, was seeing Antonio Banderas psychotically murdering a river bank. Yours lovingly, lozy.