Lame Warrior

Rating: 1/10 (23 May 2010)

I'm a big Antonio Banderas fan, but this movie just didn't work for me. The acting wasn't bad, but the whole premise of the movie was preposterous. I've never heard of vikings in Vancouver, and there was nothing close to resembling ice or snow, just rain. The mystique of some fabled viking monster had initial appeal, but failed to materialize. What we ended up with was basically little more than a cowboys and Indians flick in the northwest. Memo to the writer: There were no cowboys and Indians battles in Vancouver. Never. Get it? And the warriors were so outnumbered, it there was no way they didn't end up in a gift shop.
As good an actor as Banderas is, he just didn't seem to be into this movie. His theme seems to be hot-blooded latino, not Arab and not viking. I think he would rather have been in a bull fight movie or something. Or maybe the bogus factor of the movie was too much for him. His trying to convert the Vikings to Islam also seemed delusional. Da, I think the 13th warrior was supposed to become more like a Viking, no? Why in the heck would a Norseman care about Allah? And doesn't he know it's rude for a stranger to try to convert the host? He didn't even give them a chance to teach him some words, like a savante or something, he picked it up just sitting at the campfire and listening. Right. If the viking was visiting the Arab, he would have to sit polite and be taught their ways etc. So the movie tried to be politically correct or something. Yuck. And this movie rhymes with that. 1 out of 10, and no good excuses for this movie.